A Work-in-Progress and ongoing

>Chapter 1

Oh thank christ, can you IMAGINE if we didn't get more of this? It's beautiful; the color, the proportions, the loving detail put into the trail of spooge leaving Meg Griffon's disgusting hairy snatch

what have we done to deserve such ongoing perfection???

WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO DESERVE THIS???

Base +16, SatalinLoveJr +6, orekaminasama +7, Encuilion +6, Zardoz +6, PrinceVern +6, googler11 +6, squiddie +6, trilljacker +7, bondmata -7, Odetamo +6, bejita81100 +6, FlyGod +6, and 9 more...

Hello everyone!

This is my first ever comic that I made. I only started a few years ago and finally decided to go ahead and make this. Please let me know what you all think.

Thank you and happy reading/fapping!

Base +6, SatalinLoveJr -6, addlex -6, Kurama_07 -6, Amethyst_Spark -4, squiddie -6, Archilies +6, lunarsuicide -8, arghlblargh +6, bondmata +7, mialeyas +7, Jojen +6, FunkyFox +6, and 9 more...

This is actually kinda hot. Well done.

Base +10, addlex -6, Kurama_07 -6, Amethyst_Spark -4, lunarsuicide -8, mialeyas +7, bejita81100 -6, FunkyFox +6, lost-in-thought -6, Bookrat15 +2, NotDiegoBrando -5, shadow773 +9, Qthedude +6, and 2 more...

Please stop!!.....

or keep up, anyway i'm outta here :D

Base +10, PrinceVern +6, kingra3 +4, FunkyFox -6, shadow773 -9

make sure she gets pregnant with her mom's seed

Base +6, mialeyas +7, FunkyFox +6, shadow773 +9, DB163 +6

SmellyFingers, listen : the concept is not good, ITS AMAZING. The idea of no story, full porn is awesome too. The only thing people are giving u few stars is that you're clearly a beginner in drawing. Dont lket this bring u down.
Get better at drawing, keep drawing, u will get better, Try to imitate the best Griffin artists out there, like Apostle. Simply get better then remake this comic drawn better, and the stars will be way more.

Dont give up. Futa on female forever.

Ps: make a version without dialogs, pls

Last edited on 24 December 2016, 02:45.

Base +6, kingra3 +4, Archilies +6, lunarsuicide -8, mialeyas +7, gillygill91 +6, bejita81100 +6, FunkyFox +6, Bookrat15 +2, ana amari +2, shadow773 +9, DB163 +6

3.5/5 on this, the art and the text-placement the only downside. I say 3.5 instead of 3 because adding numbers is a good touch for when the text is out of order

Base +7, lunarsuicide -8, mialeyas +7, DB163 +6

I know people like to vocally dis these newbie comics, but I really think there's promise here. There are certainly flaws, mind you. The speech bubbles were kind of unorganized and needed to be numbered, which actually became necessary halfway through, which could be solved with more frames rather than full-page work. The art itself was decent as a starting place, but some of the proportions seemed off and inconsistent with itself, which while it seems like a petty problem for porn, can really drag attention away from the real action. The cock, for example, was the size of Meg's head when she was working the balls, but it tucked in nicely between her boobs towards the end. Also, Meg's hips to shoulder ratio, with her head size made her look unrealistically bottom-heavy, and not in the fat-bottomed way. The biggest problem for me though was the language. It read a lot like a manga or doujin, in terms of awkward language we don't use in actual speech, the over the top declarations of cumming, the entire first bubble on page 10, etc. I'd recommend the artist focus more on what real people sound like in English, and what the characters might actually say, or in that last case what they'd realistically want to hear in normal phrasing. The whole self third person thing is kind of weird in Western countries, so it kind sounds out of place.

The overall plot though was fine, if not really good. It kind of joked at the start, alluding to nobody really needs to care why Lois got a cock, but the continuation of her making Meg her bitch, and Meg really enjoying it despite internal conflict worked well, and the talk of impregnation will draw me back for the next chapter to see if that was meant, or if pregnancy risk was all the artist was hitting at.

My point is, was this comic great? No, not really. Was it horrendous garbage? No, not really. But Everybody starts somewhere, this artist has a good foundation to work from, and I hope that the artist sees these points I made and kind of considers them when making chapter 2. And I do sincerely hope they make chapter 2, since if they keep going, they'll get better, and there'll just be that much more content on the site to browse.

Base +7, lunarsuicide -8, mialeyas +7, shadow773 +9, DB163 +6

Humanity continues to disappoint. o3o

Base +6, bondmata -7, mialeyas -7, Bookrat15 -2, ZimZamster -6, shadow773 -9

This site is in desperate need of quality control, Christ.

Base +6, Etic +8, bejita81100 +6, the missing link +9, NotDiegoBrando +5, ZimZamster -6

@ Bloopman,

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my comic, I really appreciate it. I know full-well that my work isn't amazing or spectacular, I just enjoyed making it and having fun. I'm not doing this to make a living off of it in anyway, just to have fun and get better. Now, for the points you made, I'd like to address them.

The changing proportions was something I was conscious of and not conscious of. This first chapter was done completely out of order, making me not see that certain body parts and such were either smaller or bigger than previous or later pages. I say conscious because I wanted to bring more attention to certain parts of the body in every image, like the butt or breasts. I made them bigger than normal in some images but smaller in others for this reason, but now I see that might have been a mistake. The image you yourself pointed out is one I noticed myself, but I didn't notice it till the very end, I apologize.

The speech bubble placements are definitely something that bothered me once I stepped back and looked at them after I was finished. I didn't start to organize them more neatly till later in the chapter. I thought about doing a text bar on the side that would house all the text, but, I've done that before in earlier works and it felt off to me. Maybe I should try doing it for this one then? I've also attempted to go full-on regular comic instead of partial and then full pages, but they never turned out good, and I'm more comfortable doing full pages.

The language is definitely hentai/doujin inspired. I intended to kinda blend both western and eastern with this comic, both in dialogue and image. I'll try to cut back on that with the text in the future, but not completely, as I myself like the dialogue to be that way a little (just a little).

I do appreciate the compliment on the story. I've tried to go all text and story-heavy in the past but it only made it harder for me to continue, so i just went plain, simple and straight to the point.

I also realize that the lack of detail in the coloring and a lack of background makes it look less appealing, but I made these decisions consciously due to lack of time. Once again, I apologize.

I would like to reiterate once more that I'm doing this for fun and to try and get better. I wasn't expecting all the praise in the world and I just had fun making this and wanted to share it. I never intended to make money off of what I create. Ultimately, I feel like I should have put a WIP, work-in-progress, line in the title and even have a quick blurb about how I'm looking for feedback on what I've created, but I opted not to. I will change that with a chapter 2 release.

Chapter 2 is already completed, and I will put it up soon once I've finished looking over it. Chapter 1 has been done for a while and I recently finished chapter 2 and decided that I wanted to upload it here for feedback. Hopefully those of you who enjoyed this will enjoy that too. Once again, I do appreciate those who liked and disliked my comic taking the time to read it.

P.S. - For those who asked about a pregnant end, yes, this will end with pregnancy. Will they have sex while pregnant? Not really my thing, but who knows, I might change that for the future.

Base +6, mialeyas +7, shadow773 +9

Not terrible, work on the art and legible dialogue placement

Base +6, mialeyas +7

Chapter 2 is up!

I also added a WIP tag in the title as well as a textless version of Ch.01 for anyone who prefers no text.

Base +6, mialeyas +7

I would love to see Meg and Lois give Stewie a Baby Sister.

Base +6, ZimZamster -6, mialeyas +7

Love it, only thing I hate his the whole Meg talking about how she loves it or trying to convince herself that she doesn't love it while it's happening thing, I've always hated that, the only person I want to see getting enjoyment in these type of situations is the Lois type character, but I understand that's some people's thing.

Keep up the good work.

Base +5, ZimZamster +6

@SmellyFingers,

Chapter 2 was definitely an improvement. A few things, like the bubbles ordering and the numbers, were still a bit off, but the art did improve a bit. So, if it's okay, I'd like to give a bit more feedback. Remember, ultimately this is all opinion, but I think you have good potential, so I want you to hear some of the positives and negatives, at least from one perspective, so you can get that much more of an idea of how other people view it, as it's a different view from creator to viewer. Just remember though, seriously, these are all just my opinions on things I noticed or how I feel it could be improved some. Certainly not anything that you need to change or add, but might consider, or try and picture and decide then, or maybe just tuck away and pull out down the road when it might be applicable..

As I mentioned, the speech bubbles are still a little clunky. Since they're color coded so nicely, if you put them in the right order, either left to right or right to left, whichever you prefer, you like how it almost went on pages 30, 31, or 33, you could just put them in order and let it go at that. Not necessarily a single block, but if there were a clear, consistent direction, that would make your job a lot easier. It would certainly look tidier, but I will agree what's most important is that you feel the flow of each page is clear.

The dialogue itself does seem like a happier medium between east and west. A few times Lois felt like an old Japanese salary man molester from her lines, to me anyway, but that's very close to the role she's playing, so. Besides that, It's definitely much better, I think. It overall flows better.

If you're concerned about the background, though, might I mage a suggestion? Maybe make a few larger templates you can lightly edit or crop part out from. Like a bedroom, and then just use a part with the bed if Lois is sitting on it, for example. You'd need to make minor edits, like a depression in the bed where she's sitting, and a few lines to show that on top of the bed, but it really would look better, I feel, and it would minimize the work. I would not recommend doing what some artists do, though, and simply using a clip from the show. That usually looks tacky and lazy and the art styles almost always clash. If you don't want to worry about a background yet, though, I wouldn't worry too much about it yet. It would certainly make it look nicer, but it doesn't make it look bad necessarily without them.

for the story, I like where it's going, and the kind of moral corruption with Meg. I feel like she caved a little fast for my personal taste, but that's also just my personal preference, and I'd certainly rather see that than the repetitive stereotypical tsundere behavior some artists use. So, though I don't usually like it, the brevity might have been a good call here. It's really hard to get a good balance between kind of really showing the fall step by step, and just repeating them saying "No, this doesn't feel good!" in their head for 500 pages. Since this is a smaller piece it seems so far, I think you actually made the right choice.

The art itself looks much better, too, by the way. It looks like you really did have the chance to kind of keep an eye on the character designs across pages.

I'm really happy to see you accepting feedback, and hope that I, along with everybody else that gives you useful criticism and feedback, can help and see you improve. I'm eagerly anticipating the next chapter, and hope that you keep going even after all of this eventually wraps up.

Base +7, mialeyas +7, bbone666 +5