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HentaiVerse

Raico-If

Western
Posted:2017-07-03 23:14
Parent:None
Visible:Yes
Language:English  
File Size:2.80 MiB
Length:26 pages
Favorited:184 times
Rating:
79
Average: 4.39

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Posted on 04 July 2017, 00:30 by:   dman69    PM
Score +15
This is ambitious, I'll say that much but personally not my style.
Posted on 04 July 2017, 01:33 by:   Asura_Otutsuki    PM
Score +30
Honestly? I don't really know what to say. From an amateur author to another, the reason for Time Traveling could've been done better. Sure, it was powerful enough to draw some emotions from me however they weren't a lot. The magic is there (no pun intended) but the plot doesn't exactly 'deep down' to 'bring it out' completely but good work though. I'm sure in time, you'll get better with this.
Last edited on 04 July 2017, 21:02.
Posted on 04 July 2017, 01:56 by:   funkwolf    PM
Score +25
I think Asura hit the nail on the head for a lot of good fanfics.

The talent is growing, but the experience isn't where it needs to be just yet.
Posted on 04 July 2017, 02:16 by:   Xenan9881    PM
Score +41
I agree. It is a decent little read but nothing like Between Friends or even Shipping War AU levels of engaging.

It is nice on a casual level. I happened upon this on /co/ myself and decided to share.

Also,just so you guys know,there is a Part II of this story.
Let me know if you want me to upload it.
Last edited on 06 July 2017, 16:24.
Posted on 04 July 2017, 04:23 by:   Cgmf07    PM
Score -2
pta q sad :'v
Posted on 04 July 2017, 06:37 by:   karnac    PM
Score +26
esta interesante, aunq `podria mejorar un poco mas el motivo, pero tiene potencial, esta la esencia aun con el angst y todo, esta bueno, pero... It's complete?
Posted on 04 July 2017, 12:04 by:   Cgmf07    PM
Score +4
Too sad :'v
Posted on 09 July 2017, 00:26 by:   Xenan9881    PM
Score +22
For those who don't want to feel like getting punched in the gut,I warn you to refrain from seeing Part II as the way it ends may cut you guys deep.

For those who already read Part II I am sorry for the late warning. But for those who haven't yet,I advise some caution as you will cry I would assume.

Update:Well it seems that Raico has made an epilogue after Part II,really this enitre series has been an emotional roller coaster if I have ever seen one.
Last edited on 10 July 2017, 14:43.
Posted on 09 July 2017, 05:57 by:   Shellshocker20    PM
Score +33
Goddamnit, I came here to masturbate, not to feel
Posted on 22 December 2017, 06:54 by:   Abaddon24    PM
Score +18
hello darkness my old friend :'(
me duele el kokoro TwT

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