(C93) [ZIGZAG (Hirno)] Reiju o Motte Hoshi 4 Servant to Ecchi Shitai | I want to use my Command Seals to have sex with 4-star Servants! (Fate/Grand Order) [English] [theterribler]

Posted on 15 November 2018, 07:22 by: theterribler

Uploader Comment

First translation attempt, critique welcome.

Posted on 15 November 2018, 07:57 by: Vilis

For starters, you should align the text to the center. If you have to use vertical text for anything. make sure the ellipses also follow suit and don't appear horizontally (check the top left of page 4; that's wrong). Your redrawing can use some work too, but no one starts good at that. Other than that, you need basic typesetting skills like font selection, size, and centering.

Your English is good, though, and the translation looks accurate. As far as a first attempt goes, it's passable; I've seen much worse.

Posted on 15 November 2018, 08:49 by: Silent Shinobi

And that is why Liz is the best.

Posted on 15 November 2018, 09:19 by: Idiot_Ronin

Need more Shuten. And entire Gorgon family in an orgy. No problems with translation.

Posted on 15 November 2018, 09:46 by: leg4cykiller

Appreciate more Liz shes really good.

Posted on 15 November 2018, 10:03 by: Pr1de

Needs more Atalanta

Posted on 15 November 2018, 10:13 by: HyawehHoshikawa

I nutted again, thanks.

Posted on 15 November 2018, 10:49 by: (Cheater) Forufu Kitsuna

thanks for translation

Posted on 15 November 2018, 11:32 by: p187

Liz Love!...

Posted on 15 November 2018, 11:35 by: dgjdgjdgj

umm liz his command seal are already out which mean...

Posted on 15 November 2018, 12:23 by: mcimba4

shotacon??

Posted on 15 November 2018, 16:55 by: Kruploy

Nice. Thanks for the TL.
Had no hope for this one but always wanted it.

Posted on 15 November 2018, 17:27 by: reihunter

> Shotacon
what where? o_o

Posted on 15 November 2018, 23:18 by: Faeldrin

@theterribler
You need to decide on either Atalanta or Atalante, but not both.

Either than that, like Vilis said it's more a matter of your editing skills. Not bad for a first attempt though, there's much worse out there by people who've been doing this for years.

EDIT: I just noticed, 120 MB might be kinda big for 30 pages. I don't know much about that, but you might want to ask around for how to reduce filesize without compromising too much on image quality.

Posted on 16 November 2018, 00:30 by: Rose Garden

Pretty good for a first attempt, thanks for the translation. Also, a translated doujin with Suzuka in it, what a rarity.

Posted on 16 November 2018, 01:10 by: KohakHearts

Of course an Atalanta doujin happens during no nut, oh boy.

Posted on 16 November 2018, 02:00 by: Number1TioFan

What a great use of command seals!
I'd love to bone some cute 4-stars!
Extra kudos that some of the girls in this don't get a lot of attention.
Especially when they deserve it.
This is a good translation for a quality doujin!
BLESS you for this, theterribler!

Posted on 16 November 2018, 02:30 by: Red of EHCOVE

RAW https://e-hentai.org/g/1182180/ed15d5bf4c/

What Villis said. You can get editing tips in the forums, or just use a bounty system to get editors. You can work with EHCOVE on a TL for edit basis too, or something like that.

Nice choice of a TL, this was on our to-do list.

Posted on 16 November 2018, 08:36 by: theterribler

Thanks for the comments and pointers, hadn't even considered center justification and I thought I'd already fixed the Atalanta/e thing. I know my typesetting/cleaning isn't amazing, though in retrospect I could've saved a lot of cleaning work and had a better looking product by just using the shade of grey already in the textboxes rather than white.

(also yeah ngl the Liz segment was like 90% of the motivation for this, not that the others don't deserve love)

Posted on 17 November 2018, 03:13 by: KingQwerty

I'm almost horny enough to start playing a stupid fucking mobile game.

But no, not quite there yet.

Posted on 19 November 2018, 12:05 by: Kyonko802

I'm gonna marry this lizard!

Posted on 02 December 2018, 01:45 by: Juggernaut Santa

> Page 27

Someone just took a Fus Ro Dah to the face. Rip Master, we'll miss you.

Posted:	2018-11-15 07:22
Parent:	1315008
Visible:	Yes
Language:	English TR
File Size:	122.0 MiB
Length:	30 pages
Favorited:	2605 times

language:	english translated
parody:	fate grand order
character:	atalanta elizabeth bathory gudao \| ritsuka fujimaru stheno suzuka gozen
group:	zigzag
artist:	hirno
male:	shotacon sole male
female:	anal catgirl demon girl footjob fox girl horns kemonomimi lizard girl mind control nakadashi small breasts tail twintails very long hair x-ray

Rating:		500
Average: 4.56

(C93) [ZIGZAG (Hirno)] Reiju o Motte Hoshi 4 Servant to Ecchi Shitai | I want to use my Command Seals to have sex with 4-star Servants! (Fate/Grand Order) [English] [theterribler]

(C93) [ZIGZAG (Hirno)] 令呪を以て星4サーヴァントとえっちしたい (Fate/Grand Order) [英訳]