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HentaiVerse

[RyderRiro] Rough Night

Western
Posted:2018-11-18 08:17
Parent:1316224
Visible:Yes
Language:English  
File Size:19.92 MiB
Length:10 pages
Favorited:129 times
Rating:
53
Average: 4.20

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Posted on 18 November 2018, 05:57 by:   Havel The Rock    PM
Score +2
The broken English makes me want headbutt a fucking table saw
Posted on 27 November 2018, 02:50 by:   IronHide77777    PM
Score +2
Maybe not a table saw... But a wall might suffice. :/
Posted on 27 November 2018, 09:13 by:   RiroRyder    PM
Score -5
Wouldn’t be better if you could,I don’t know,help than say this awful things?
Posted on 29 November 2018, 16:57 by:   thenon1902    PM
Score +12
Nice things, eh? OK, The comic is cute, and for the most part well drawn.
However you really do need a proof reader. There are quite a few grammar issues.
For English readers anyways, it can be very distracting.

Mainly when the words don't connect right, it can make the reader get stuck on portions of the dialog, that they shouldn't.
For example.
Mainly the words don't connect right, it makes the watcher get stuck on portions dialog, they shouldn't. "This hurt me reading this sentence aloud...."

Also the guys above, they are trying to be funny. Which they kinda are. For the most part, and them being hurtful comments?
Meh. I've seen so much worse. XD

Page four "How are you a werewolf? Anyway, you scared me a lot." A bit stiff, in the wording.
Maybe " You're a werewolf? Anyways, you had me going a bit there..." A little more flow. Not perfect, but easier to read.
Also your comment is a clue to me, that you may not be a English speaker.
"Wouldn’t be better if you could,I don’t know,help than say this awful things?"
"You know, you guys could be a little bit more constructive, Instead of saying such hurtful things."

There, a bit of constructive critique. Not sure if English is your native language, or maybe you're a bit dyslexic. And If you are, you might want to get a writer, or proofreader as stated above.
Learn a bit more grammar/sentence structure, and you'll be fine.
Posted on 03 December 2018, 04:19 by:   RiroRyder    PM
Score +10
Yeah,English is not my native language,and to be honest I never did the script for this comic,stupid I know,I always finished the page then I would do the dialogues,which is the real for the reason bad grammar,I have been studying for a while,since I do want to work with comics,so I need to get better and make something fun and good to read,with less grammar issues.

Thank you,for your critique ,it helped me a lot,even those previous comments.

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