TLd by a friend
Typeset by myself

https://e-hentai.org/g/1352518/ff6cc6aa52/

Thank you for the missing page though, since you were at it, you could have looked into the typesetting issues of some pages too.

Page 1: you could split the "themselves" in the bottom left part of the double text box (center panel) to move the text down and center "as a change of pace" in the top right part of the same box
Page 5: in both the double bubbles, the two blocks of text are too close to each other, try splitting the lines in a different way next time.
Also all the bubbles in the top panel aren't perfectly centered, and in one of them, the text touches the outline.
Page 6: Top panel, box on the right, text is too high. Same for the box immediately below (center right panel). Bottom left panel, "a Chikan??" could be moved down a bit.
Page 7: Left panel, bottom bubble, the text is a little too much on the left
Page 8: Top panel: "Hey, you!" should fit into two lines and go a little down imo.
Center panel is a mess, "we're both into this" should be moved left, "yeah, that's right" down, "that's why, uh...!" down too, and the left bubble, if you can't split the text left/right, do not split the paragraphs, just put the text in a single block.
Bottom panel: "Excuse us!!!" is a lot out of center, should be moved down a whole lot.
Page 9: Bottom right panel: "Alright, perfect!" touches the right border, also it would be better in two lines, maybe a little smaller font size, and moved down accordingly. "Good work today!" should be moved up.
Left panel(s): "well, we're going to change sets so" should be moved down, "here?" touches the left border, should be moved a little right and also down, the double bubble in the bottom left should be fixed by moving everything a little down and the top paragraph a little more on the right.
Page 10: Top right panel, "well, yeah" should be moved down, "producer-san, you're finally getting into it, aren't you?" should be moved a little on the right and also a little down.
Top left panel: "it's your fault for being so cute, you know" goes out of border, move right and also down to center it
Bottom panel: Double bubble: "I really really love how you kiss" should be moved up and right, move down that heart and make so producer-san is aligned with said heart
Page 11: Top left panel: "Alright" should be moved up, "is this fine" a little up and right, "yeah, what a great view" should be a little more on the right.
Bottom right panel: "Hm" should be moved a little down and on the right.
Bottom left panel(s): "stop saying things as if you were the gourmet club's protag" should be made smaller, the bubble is cramped, "truly the ass of asses" touches the right border, should be moved a little left (and down).
Page 12: Top right panel: "I can't hold out anymore" should be moved down and right a little, "ah" should be moved up
Center panel: "Please return to the studio" should be moved down
Page 13: Top panel: "alright" touches the outline, you could split it into "al- right" and move it up and right
Center right panel: double bubble: both text blocks should be moved down, and a little more on the right too, "really" almost touches the left border so it should be moved a little more on the right
Bottom right panel: double bubble: the text in the lower one should be made smaller as the bubble is cramped, and after that you can move the top block a little down
Bottom left panel: double bubble: the standalone "but" can be moved up a little
Page 14: Center right panel: "public sex! we're really doing it!", put "it!" in a new line and then move the text a little down. "I'm ready to go, so just put it in wherever you want", if you move "in" in a new line, you can move the text a little down, centering it.
Center left panel(s): if you make the "a-alright" a little smaller, it won't touch both borders of the bubble
Bottom panel: if you split the line after the "kyaaaaa" (making the text 3 lines) and move the whole thing a little more on the left and down, it will look nicer. "Shit, As if I'd stay in a place like this!" should be moved a little down and left
Page 15: you put the same page twice
Page 16: Center panel: double bubble, make the text a little smaller, the two blocks almost touch and the bubble is quite cramped. Same for all the other panels, the text is touching the outline. In the 2nd and 4th bubble from the right, text should be moved a little down as well.
Bottom right panel: "then what was the point" you can make the text a little bigger, split it into 5 lines, and move it a little down
Bottom left panel: "Basically!" can be moved a little down and right.
Page 17: Center panel: "Yeah..." can be moved slightly left and down, "well then..." a little up and right, "to make up for those times, too...(heart)" a little right and up
Bottom right panel: "Let's really really (heart)" should be moved right.
Page 18: Center panel: double bubble: text slightly smaller, so you can move both text blocks a little down. Move the heart accordingly.
Page 19: Top panel: the heart below "it feels" should be placed below the center of the text, so a little more on the right
Bottom left panel: "Its been awhile" -> "It's been a while" (typo), also move a little right. I would split "I'm cumming already" to "I'm cum-ming alre-ady" (5 lines) and place it centered above the heart, in case make the whole text in this panel smaller, if there isn't enough space to do so. In that case, "I'm cumming already" should be moved a little more up.
"Im cum-ming" (bold) -> "I'm cum-ming" (typo), also make it smaller, it goes outside of the bubble outline.
Page 20: the first "AH" is too much on the left. Also add a white border to all the moans that go outside the outline. In this case they are loud moans, so they CAN go outside the border, though, without a white outline they blend with the bubble, and it just looks bad.
Page 21: The "AH" have the same issues of the ones in the previous pages. Also "Yuriko" touches the left border, so, move it a little right.
Page 22: Top panel: "Produc er-san"...split it "Produ cer-san" please. "There's still tons of things I want to experience on my own" touches the outline, so it should go a little more left, also down.
Bottom right panel: "So...please stay with me for all of those, alright?" -> split the line after the "so...", make the font slightly smaller so the text doesn't touch both borders, move it a little down.

A bunch of those issues are because you (rightfully) decided to keep some hearts or bolded punctuation from the raw. Your error is that you kept them where they were, and placed the text accordingly, ruining the balance of the bubble as those were meant to align with vertical lines of kanjis. You can move them, you know. Use the select tool and cut-paste them so you can align them with the text and make more space, so you don't have to fit it all in the top or the bottom of the panel, like you did.

Sorry if any of this sounds condescending, feel free to follow any of this or not.
I just hope this will help. If not now, for the future.

Also, use the "clone and unlock" button in your gallery management next time. It makes updating easier, if you don't have to reupload everything (even though in this case there are a lot of pages that could be replaced...)

Last edited on 16 January 2020, 04:19.

Base +29, Refyrsen +10, pieman11 +8, kyouri +28, 20Ilya +30, xin_142 +4, Ringaround +2, Mezkalito +6, AlephFish +9, gamertag282 +6, akkrlin +6, see-eff +8

You posted page 14 twice, you can update the gallery and don't need to post a new one every time

Base +19, Agoraphobia +31, taxeol +13, SMELL-COOKIE +3, see-eff +8

@Juggernaut Santa: I like you and your suggestion, man.

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