BE WARNED: This translation is not a professional work ...at all
So, please lower your expectation m(_._)m

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Changes have been made to the gallery based on comments and tips given to me
including:
#Changing font
#Fix spacing
#Fix uppercase/lowercase issue

Thanks for all the tips.

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Further improvements and correction made to the gallery

I apologize for all the inconveniences.

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Last edited on 14 October 2020, 12:04.

Base +6, Jamesbryans -8, somedude1234symbols -7, DjangoV4 -5

Why do this? Now it's more unlikely to get a decent translation. :(

Base +7, RadiantLore-chan +7, 555666777 -7, Eric McSaltypenis +7, cpasmoii +6, gerwen -9, crab cake -7, zangetsu96 +7, jason12052011 +7, JFK_360_Noscope -13, somedude1234symbols +7, Amauri14 -6, Danjian +6, and 7 more...

aaaww I guess I'm sorry then.

Taking this title probably a mistake.
I apologize.
should I request for expunge?

Last edited on 14 October 2020, 06:49.

Base +6, Eric McSaltypenis +7, jason12052011 +7, lewgnik +6, memper03 -6, herpderp5545 +7

I mean, this is probably good enough

Base +8, Zed_Zed +5, KozuKy -6, Vagic +6, mgran52 -9, jason12052011 -7, hazari_13 +6, imanidiot42 +7, DjangoV4 -5, memper03 -6, HunterBlackLuna +6, Obake-chan +6, dankestdungeon -20

no need to expunge it, it's good enough.

just one tips: use a common font for comic/manga (such as comic sans) might be better.

one more tip: learn how to manage paragraph for each dialogue/monologue better for next one. take a looks on other translation for your references might be good...

Base +6, Qwerty2 -8, mgran52 -9, shazaaam -6, Kurisu_Makise -6, hazari_13 +6, DjangoV4 -5, memper03 -6, HunterBlackLuna +6, tomato86 +12, Kagoraphobia +46, Obake-chan +6, dankestdungeon -20

Thanks for the tips.. I really appreciate it

Base +6, HunterBlackLuna +6, Arlinath +6, Drak13 +6

sorry, wrong tips. your font are good enough... just bad usage (bold is a bad idea)

Base +6

Post edited to remove problems I brought up that were fixed. Some issues remain, including some mentioned in Vanilla Cream's post. By my count your number of errors has fallen below qualifying for the poor grammar tag so I've changed my vote for that tag to help take it off.

Page 1: "Oh Shinoa, I was expecting for you." should be "Oh Shinoa, I was expecting you.". You corrected the capitalization issue, but left the unnecessary "for" in there.
Page 14: "Take all these creampie and cum" should be more like "Take all these creampies and come. All caps issue fixed, lack of plural form not yet fixed.
Page 16: "I'm Shinoa Your Loyal Bitch Slave... Your Property" is still one of your every word in the sentence capitalized issues remaining. Should be "I'm Shinoa your loyal bitch slave... Your property.
Page 17: "The body of slutty bitch" should be "The body of a slutty bitch.". You just forgot to put in the a with this correction.

It seems pretty obvious to me that you're not a native English speaker, so you should definitely look into getting help if you plan to keep at this. For now, at least look into making these changes here.

Last edited on 15 October 2020, 01:23.

Base +6, LoveNothing +6, dankestdungeon +19, Scorps283 +6, zhangbark +20, zangetsu96 +7, Kuro-tan +11, hazari_13 +6, Porokichin66 +9, IncognitoMaud +6, HunterBlackLuna +6, Megaton +45

While it is important for good works to be translated well, I don't see it being too much of a problem if a work is translated badly. Since with the translation advice that LRaglan gave it would be rather easy for him or someone else to take the current work and make the corrections and reupload it. People need to learn how to translate so he has to translate something to get better, but I do agree it may have been better to focus on either a good manga that has been left untranslated for a long time or a manga of less quality if he was not confident in his skills.

For the future I suggest looking into manga that are either niche and don't have many people translating for said fetish, good manga that have been left untranslated for a long time where people wanting it are fine with any translation, or less quality manga that are less worth it for skilled translator to work on.

Base +8, Scorps283 +6, ktkwon00 +8, Avenire +5, Vagic +6, HunterBlackLuna +6, Belgrin +7, zangetsu96 +7, Ineedanadult +8, hazari_13 +6, Porokichin66 +9, memper03 -6

Thanks for reading my work properly. Appreciated it ...a lot.
I will try to make better work in the future.

I've been waiting for translation(in english) of this Luku's work since its release date, which never happen.
So I decided to take this one as my first try.

Again, thank you so much for all the tips.

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Do I need to upload new gallery for the correction edition?

Last edited on 14 October 2020, 08:05.

Base +6, Scorps283 +6, Vagic +6, Porokichin66 +9, memper03 -6, Crono16x +6

The wiki has an explanation on how to go about updating your gallery. Couldn't really help you there myself, I've not ever uploaded anything here to have figured that kind of thing out.
https://ehwiki.org/wiki/Making_Galleries

Base +6

@ KiraKiraHaru

You can "Clone and Unlock" delete the bad pages, upload the corrected pages, then sort them.

Base +7, HunterBlackLuna +6

RAW: https://e-hentai.org/s/8b30872f63/1172242-378.

I don't have much to say on the English mistakes, since LRaglan pointed out most of them. However, I do have some typos and general improvements I want to point out.
P.4: "It's feel so hot..." should be "It feels so hot..." & "why I can't get it off" should be "Why can't I get it off".
P.5: "What did it injected to me" should be "What did it inject inside of me" or "What did it inject into me".
P.8: "You won't get away for d-doing this to me!" Honestly, either way it sounds fine to me, but it could be further shortened to "You won't get away with this!" for simplicity's sake.
P.9: "I should be hating this but why does it feels so goood..." The "feels" should be "feel".
P.10: "I can't let any harm fall into my town because of my mistake!" The "into" should be "on" or "onto" in this case.
P.11: "my precious First Time have been taken by a monster" should be "My precious first time has been taken by a monster".
P.12: "HOORAH" Unintentionally funny because it caught me off guard. That's it.
P.13: You spelled further wrong and "It's just felt soo good" should be "It just feels so good".
P.14: Keeping it as "cum" instead of come is fine; people still get it either way. You also use cummed (P.9) and cum again on the following speech bubble.
It's also informal/slang English so it doesn't really matter that much when it comes to past tense. As long as it isn't something to weird like cummedded. eg. Yeeted or Yote
P.17: "a body of slutty bitch" can be phrased as "The body of a slutty bitch" or "A body of a slutty bitch". It works out either way.
P.20: LRaglan's suggestion is fine. Alternatively, you could just change "that" to "that's" and that would also work.

Good effort but meh results. Better luck next time. (Preferably, after you polish up your skills.)
P.S. I didn't expect this gallery to update while typing this comment... Oh well, sorry for the extra work if you decide to update it again.

Base +7, Ineedanadult +8

Thanks for another tips.
I'll probably will update it again later.
I'm afraid repetition of update may causes me to get ban .

Base +6, HunterBlackLuna +6, Narc +6

It's fine as far as I'm concerned. It's not perfect but I've definitely seen much worse. The people losing their minds are overreacting a bit.

Base +18, HunterBlackLuna +6, Narc +6, ktkwon00 +8, JFK_360_Noscope +13, memper03 -6, Janice_Em +6

I can fap to it so whatevs. my only concern is that I've never seen the word "cummed" before. Should have been "came".

Base +6, magicalstring +4, HunterBlackLuna +6

I'm a bit confused. How did this armor even show up in such a small store? I kept thinking the shopkeeper was in on it. But after he gave her the armor, he became a non-entity.
So where did the armor come from?

Base +6

Likely it was part of a bulk restock and has not sold over a long period of time, thus the price dropped making it enter her budget range. Also I like to think that person in the last page is the shopkeeper wearing his normal clothes with his hair lit up from the fire around them.

Base +8

@KiraKiraHaru Thank you for taking the time to correct your mistakes, I've edited my previous post to omit the ones that you've fixed.
@KCzz15 "The people losing their minds" is probably referring to Vanilla Cream and I, right? Well, lists like that are required for the poor grammar tag and in the cases where the uploader is willing to take advice, as KiraKiraHaru has proven to be, having these errors listed helps them to improve. There were no overreactions here.

Base +6, Scorps283 +6

So apparently the grammar probably isn't the only thing wrong about this 'translation'. I went to look at the raws for the first page (to make sure the TL isn't a rewrite in disguise) and it got the 2nd panel wrong. It's not the girl speaking in that second bubble, but the shopkeeper replying.
Rough translation would be something like "Yeah, that armor somehow got mixed in with my goods. It feels a little creepy, so I really want to sell it off quickly."
I appreciate the attempt, but the bare minimum would to get something that simple correct. It isn't even a difficult sentence, or some hentai-specific terminology. Bad grammar or phrasing can be fixed by getting a proofreader or native English speaker, or like in this case, the community being nice enough to fix that for you.
And also @ssj782 and @i like halo : now you guys (sort of) got the answer - shopkeeper MIGHT be in on it, very suspicious for him to offer cheap armor to someone even after finding it creepy (no pride as a merchant, selling goods they themselves dislike). Or maybe just hentai plot convenience.
Edit: Since you're putting in the legwork to edit, I'll give you some pointers if you absolutely have to continue translating without being able to read Japanese: look up the Kanji that OCR fails to pick up using Jisho. You can either draw it or use the radicals. Also, checking further, it seems you might not even know your hiragana? How'd you get "Hiyaa! It's coming in" (page 5) from something that's entirely hiragana? Even if it was a very liberal TL, I feel like that's a touch too far off.
Better yet, pick manga where all text is clear and in bubbles, so OCR will always read it properly. Assuming your "I personally translate it myself" isn't a bluff and that page 5 mistake is just because you didn't check and just used whatever the OCR gave you, this would be the best option.

Last edited on 15 October 2020, 20:25.

Base +12, negixnodoka +6, PinguPrin +7

I'm so sorry about that, and thanks for presenting me the mistake.
Tbh, I'm not very sure who's talking there.
I got the version of shopkeeper talking too but I choose to made Shinoa speak, which was wrong choice.

I'm very sorry.

Base +6, somedude1234symbols +7, GearZeroSky +19, Faztri +8, Scorps283 +6, TheNotoriousRPG +6, IncognitoMaud +6, Arlinath +6, sectorunit888 +5

Hey, at least you're actively trying to improve it, so that's a good sign. Some people just upload a garbage translations with no quality control at all and call it a day.

Base +8, ThatOtherYou +6, IncognitoMaud +6, DessertBox +6, m42a +16, HunterBlackLuna +6, sectorunit888 +8

Since you seem to be willing to make corrections (some of these are more stylistic imporvements that outright mistakes):

Page 1:
"I was expecting for you" -> "I was waiting for you."
Relly? Only for 20000 Rupee?" -> Drop the "for"
"I'm broke right now" -> "That's all I have right now..."

Page 2:
"With this I could do better at protecting my hometown" ->"This should help me to protect my hometown."

Page 3:
"I guess that's the last one" -> "I guess that was the last one"

Page 4:
"It feel so hot..." -> "It feels so hot..."
"I've got to take off the circlet first at least" -> "I've got at least to take off the circlet"

Page 7:
"Just absorbing your magical energy a bit already gave me this much power" -> "Just absorbing a bit of your magical energy already gave me this much power"

Page 9:
"I can't take it more" -> "I can't take it anymore"

Page 10:
"I can't let any harm fall into my town because of my mistake!" -" I can't let any harm fall onto my town because of my own mistake!"
"What are you to do with that?" -> "What are you going to do with that?"

Page 11:
"My precious first time have been taken by a monster" -> "My precious first time has been taken by a monster"

Page 13:
"It's just felt soo good" -> "It just feels too good"

Page 14:
"I can't let this monster take over me" -> "I can't let this monster take me over"
"Take all these creampie and cum" -> "Take this creampie and cum"

Page 15:
"It's stealing all of my magic energy" -> "It's stealing all of my magical energy"

Page 17:
"The body of slutty bitch" -> "The body of a slutty bitch"

Page 18:
"I want it more" -> Drop the "it"
"Tentacle dick is entering me" -> "The tentacle dick is entering me"

Page19:
"Moving your own hips like that" -> "Moving your hps like that" or "Moving your hips like that on your own"
" You've totally became a different person" -> "You've really turned into a different person"

Page 20:
"Seems like you're the one enjoying this" -> "Seems like you're enjoying this" or "It seems like you are enjoying this"
"Please pour all your cum inside of my pussy" -> "Please pour all of your cum into my pussy"

Base +18

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Base +10, Tizatln +7

u can del yourself in your manager acc.

Base +6, Kagoraphobia -40, KozuKy -6, sectorunit888 -7, xxlover27 -6, Magiconvert -6, Ryhe -6

I got a good nut out of this, NGL

Base +4