Raw: https://e-hentai.org/g/624940/1a1f0ee3a0/
Artist's Twitter: https://twitter.com/windarteam

Passed all my exams, so I'm delivering.
I'm still pretty new at this, and feedback is appreciated.

Is the title font really Times New Roman this time around? I died.

I think I'll do a fairly vanilla Yukari h-doujin next.
That one's pretty old too.
Enjoy.

Edit (07 Nov): It took almost a month of procrastination, but I finally got around to updating this.
In no particular order: leveled black (hopefully not too much), made most of the text smaller, re-did narration font and some text placements and lining, fixed some typos, made minor changes to wording in a few bubbles.
Big thanks to Ancient-Alien for the tips once again. Should be a more pleasant read overall now.

I'll probably go and give the first part this treatment too at some point, but I'd like to put that Yukari doujin I mentioned out first.

Finally translation

Base +6, pkplat +11, coleccionista903 +6, F9P7 +5

Nice work.
I have some suggestions on how to sparkle up your typesetting a bit.
1. Learn to level images. So that you can turn sme washed out black like in this one into real black. It will also make your cleaning life much easier if you have to deal with RAWs like this https://e-hentai.org/g/1317895/5b4a8086e6/ You can find a guide in here: https://www.insidescanlation.com/etc/the-idiots-guide-to-editing-manga/guide/main
2. Reduce your fontsize a bit (2-4 steps down for this would be my guess) and give your text a bit more room to breath.
3. Distinguish between regular speech and thought and narration. An easy method is to set the text to italic for tought and narration if you don't use it already otherwise. Or use different fonts.

Edit:
Fixing typos is a reason to update galleries. Had to do it myself several times. If you apply all the other suggested changes it definitely is no problem to update the gallery as long you don't split it into several updates.
If you want to see the difference that leveling makes for this doujinshi check the leveled chinese version https://e-hentai.org/g/629704/c96a39a3e7/

Edit 7 Nov:
Well done. Looks much better now.

Last edited on 07 November 2020, 20:14.

Base +17, velocity606 +5, Shurikensei +9, Jamesbryans +9, F9P7 +5, Zelinko +9, Demosthenes +15, lazorboy96 +6

@Ancient-Alien
Thank you very much for the suggestions and guide! I'll try to apply them from now on.
I think I'll try the alternate font route for the narration, since I used italics for emphasis in some places and when one of the characters was speaking syllable by syllable to be a tease.

I found some crossbar Is that I messed up - probably had caps lock on by accident. Are those a good enough reason to do a gallery update, or should I just leave them be and focus on not making the same mistake down the line?

Base +6, velocity606 +5, coleccionista903 +6, F9P7 +5, Zelinko +9