I was commissioned to translate this
any critique on editing, translation, etc. is appreciated

support the original artist
https://twitter.com/black_meganedan
https://www.dlsite.com/maniax/circle/profile/=/maker_id/RG28635.html
https://shiheki.fanbox.cc/

Japanese raw:https://e-hentai.org/g/1748071/20b5f745c1/

Amazing work, thank you.
Where could I request a translated commission from you?

Base +4, rescates123 +5, 忘与戒 +1

Thanks for translating!

Since you asked for critique:
- Choice of font is a bit off - it's all cursive for no reason.
- You're consistently ignoring proper capitalization and punctuation without aiming for any sort of effect.
- White outline on too wide text on page 8 is a good idea, but probably should not have gradient unless other text in the work calls for it. e.g. all the FX text has a hard white outline without gradient. (good job not forgetting this page though, as the other uploaders of this unfortunately have)
- I know it's not really the translator's job to figure out what to do with bad writing, but I reckon all the hore hore in this one would have warranted some creative deviation.

Base +6, DeepExplorer +7, SCSS +19, alienhominid +6, Nibbatron1 +6

Woah this was really nice, five stars

Base +4, fatjoe400 +6, alienhominid +6, Nibbatron1 +6

@qweasedqwe
thank you. you can send me a message on the forum and ask

@hurarwe
thank you for your advice.
The idea of outlining too wide text with a 100% hardness brush had never occurred to me.

Base +2, rescates123 +5, Circle0Trick +8

Jeez, this guy doesn't even know the meaning of the words "refractory period". No wonder he was the "hero".

Base +6, scrump80 +6, mojofallin +7, 151132 +8, Circle0Trick +8

There is a page missing between 24 and 25. You can PM me if you want it.

Base +6

@threk damn boi he mute

Base +5