[Himuro Serika] Nyotaika Suieibu ~Ikutabi Onna ni Nacchau Ore no Karada 7| Nyotaika Swim Club ~I Turn into a Girl When I Cum! 7 [English] [wandererkitty]
Different uploader, same bad grammar from this group. Page 3: "Shoot it to my mouth" in not to. Page 5: "I just went to toilet" missing a the there. Page 6: "You fucked someone again, aren't you?" didn't not aren't. Page 7: "He must be got in a shape just because of swimming" this is so mangled I don't even know what you're trying to say. "But... Lighthouse's is nearly 10 kilometer away." has numerous issues. The is missing before lighthouse, 's is unneeded after lighthouse, and it should be kilometers. Page 8: "We will join these stupids while they are on the return way" Those not these and "on the return way" should just be returning. "We are death if they notice us." dead is the word you are looking for. "But wearing women's outfit makes me feel like a pervert though." should be either "a woman's outfit" or "women's clothing".
Once again, way too many errors way too quickly for me to want to push through the whole thing. Get. A. Proofreader. That isn't a "feature" someone should have to pay for, as was claimed in your group's previous release, it's having standards.
Also, you're still using stupid where idiot would make sense to an actual English speaker.
Base +6, Lin84210 +11, sectorunit888 +7, IngmarS +6, Ouroboros186 +6
Building on the errors pointed out by LRaglan, here's a more thorough list of mistakes on the first 10 pages. You really need someone to proofread your work before releasing it.
P03 "Shoot it in my mouth" or "into my mouth", not "to my mouth".
P04 "I'm gonna turn into a woman again", not "into woman again".
P05 "I just went to the toilet", not "went to toilet". "Because you weren't here", not "Just because".
P06 "You fucked someone again, didn't you", not "aren't you". "What were you guys doing during club activities", not "What are you guys doing during the club activity".
P07 "You idiot" or "You dumbass", not "You stupid". "He must've gotten shaped like that because of swimming" or "He just got shaped like that because of swimming", not "He must be got in a shape because of swimming". "Anyone would think the same", not "Everyone would think like that". "The lighthouse is nearly 10 kilometers away", not "Lighthouse's is nearly 10 kilometer away".
P08 "Don't worry about Coach's orders" is probably what should be used instead of "Don't worry about the duty". "We'll rejoin those idiots on their way back", not "We will join these stupids while they are on the return way". "We're dead if they see us" or "they'll kill us if they see us", not "we are death if they notice us". "Women's swimsuits", not "woman's swimsuits". "Wearing women's outfits make me feel" or "Wearing women's clothing", not "wearing women's outfit makes me feel". "You still think like a man", not "think like man". "What I want to show Mio-senpai", not "show to Mio-senpai". "I'm done for if any other boy sees me like this", not "I'm done if"
P10 "Don't pull me into", not "Don't pull me to". "What could be better than a woman gulping down slimy white liquids", not "what can be better than a woman with gulping white slimy liquids". "Into that kind of stuff", not "this kind of stuff". "We won't know if we don't give it a try", not "we can't know if we don't give a chance". "Did your dick get erect now?" or "Is your dick getting hard now?", not "Did Kinta's dick get erected now". "An idea like that", not "an idea like this".