[Akitsuki Itsuki] Tousaku Saimin Jikken [Case. 1] | Perverted Hypnosis Experiment [Case. 1] (COMIC Shingeki 2021-06) [English] {Exo Subs} [Digital]

Prompt translations are always good, but you could do with a proofreader. At the very least copying the script into Word/google docs to use the spelling/grammar check would help.

Pg 2: "Troublesome" and "bookstore" need hyphens if they're not going to be on one line.

Pg 3: "Misteries" -> Mysteries

pg 5: "Put your mind on it" -> Put your mind to it

pg 19: "tho" -> though

pg 24: "pf" -> of

pg 34: "hypnosis plays" -> hypnosis play (And honestly "Hypnosis play" isn't how english speakers would usually phrase it, but that's a more subjective call.)

On a slightly more subjective note:

On page 4, the wording in last bubble is kind of awkward. Maybe "Isn't it staged? I always got the impression they set it up beforehand."

Also, you seem to put the punctuation (like question marks and ellipses) on a seperate line about half the time. Is there a reason for this?

Happy to see you're continuing to translate though, these minor issues can only improve with practice.

Edit: Cheers, any translator who responds to feedback is good as gold in my book.

Last edited on 02 June 2021, 21:45.

Posted on 02 June 2021, 18:50 by: Soldier A

>hypnosis chains

This is a dangerous path. If they keep going, they might cause a Hypnosis Pyramid Scheme.

Posted on 02 June 2021, 21:32 by: ExoSubs

Funniest part is I actually saw those mistakes and totally thought I fixed them (I'm kind of training an editor since this manga to avoid this, I've been very busy so I pretty much only translated and checked a bit), but well, I guess I just didn't but assumed I did. Well, the phrasing ones were my fault; I told him to change the english, but the original script is mine, after all.

Tho was on purpose, but I guess I should have just used the formal one.

Done.

Posted on 03 June 2021, 04:23 by: Lightningdestroyer

Amazing
He never fails to make a interesting story even with the over used mind control trope.

Posted on 04 June 2021, 06:54 by: sgc_geh

Hyphenation is fine, just remember that you have to split words between syllables.

Posted on 04 June 2021, 09:01 by: doomsterz

New Akitsuki Itsuki?!!?!? LETS GOOOOOOOOOO

Posted on 04 June 2021, 10:53 by: Quartafeira11

What you guys don't expect is that this was all orchestrated by Iori, who made her friend into a pervert who thinks she hypnotized her. And in turn, this was actually a setup by MC Guy, who hypnotized himself to forget who he was until after both girls thought they had actual hypnotism.

Posted on 05 March 2023, 21:01 by: kiwino

here before assholes expunge this in favor of compilation

Posted on 10 March 2023, 17:49 by: Samproidzz

ENG Case 1: https://e-hentai.org/g/1924709/79791ec196/ (You are here)
ENG Case 2: https://e-hentai.org/g/2057864/32981bb5e0/
ENG Case 3: https://e-hentai.org/g/2486172/de3acf3661/
ENG Case 4: https://e-hentai.org/g/2489528/bddd29fa07/
ENG Case 5: https://e-hentai.org/g/2492783/7c2c7e8aa9/

RAW Full tank: https://e-hentai.org/g/2361461/3050a69933/

Last edited on 13 March 2023, 18:52.

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language:	english translated
artist:	akitsuki itsuki
male:	mind control schoolboy uniform sole male
female:	ahegao blackmail blowjob deepthroat filming glasses hairy kissing mesuiki mind control nakadashi pantyhose schoolgirl uniform sole female unusual pupils voyeurism