im new to translation
and im open to any suggestion,advice and improvement

cheers

raw: https://e-hentai.org/g/1571416/043a3f91ff/

chi: https://e-hentai.org/g/1651662/c9589d78f9/

Base +18, Miles Edgeworth +64

Her name is Yukari.

Base +24, fiojlkjeefknvnew +6, drustrevi +15

Whenever I see a gallery tagged "poor grammar", I usually try correcting the grammar of the first few pages in order to show newbie translators where they can improve their work.

Unfortunately, I won't be able to do the same for this particular gallery -- even if I were to try fixing the grammar, the story itself doesn't make much sense. Are you sure you got the translation right?

Base +37, fiojlkjeefknvnew +6, Garlandicus +14, FatSpanner +6, Flan-chan +16

probably because i use both Japanese and the Chinese translation and compare them which one is more sense to read and English is 2nd language that i learn

Base +1

I gotta be honest, I'm not entirely sure what I'm reading. When you say you used both Japanese and Chinese translations, what do you mean? Did you just use google translate, or do you actually know the language? I don't think you should really be translating something into a language that you aren't fluent in yet.

Base +6, Garlandicus +14, Flan-chan +16

I only bothered to check the last page. And that page alone managed to disappoint me.
It's "anal beads", not anarubizu. And if you were doing it correctly it would have been biizu, not bizu. And a quick google search for アナルビーズ links to the wiki page of the thing, so no excuse there.
Edit: Ok I checked the raw and the word anal beads was use on pg. 12. How did you put the correct word on pg. 12 but not on pg. 24 when they are the same damn thing? Oh god reading this is giving me a stroke.

Everything looks questionable. Typesetting, translation quality, cleaning. All are awful.
I don't want to discorage newbies from trying and learning, but you are not ready to solo a full translation process.

After typing all this out, one scenario appeared in my head. Did you run OCR and throw everything into Google Translate and you actually have no knowledge of either JP or EN? I don't want to assume the worst case but is there any chance you don't know CN either?

Base +23, Frygon +10, Garlandicus +14, AZ-Lefty +6, MC Arisato +6

@Jabg:

The Japanese version would make more sense to use because this work was originally in Japanese.

On the other hand, if you are a native Chinese speaker, then the Chinese version would obviously be more useful to you. However, translations are best done using a one-step process (JAP-ENG) rather than a two-step process (JAP-CHI-ENG) because some word meanings may be lost in translation when converting from one language to another.

In any case, if you're still learning English, then I strongly suggest you find someone to review and correct your work before you take the effort to put it up as a gallery. Translating a work into another language is a great way to practice, but you really shouldn't post your work for everyone else to read unless you're very sure you got the translation right -- otherwise, you can expect a lot of harsh criticism for a badly-translated work, which may discourage you from learning.

Base +37, drustrevi +15, Frygon +10, Garlandicus +14, Shimeru +6, MC Arisato +6, Flan-chan +16