Hey guys, so I'm planning to translate 1 chapter daily, the whole thing is too big for a free project. I'm not sure if it's okay, but if it won't get deleted I'll continue.
I'm doing these translations for free, if you want to support me, or commission something please contact me, or visit my patreon.
https://www.patreon.com/kurokagehen

original:
https://e-hentai.org/g/1793096/a93ca398c6/

If you want to support the artist:
https://ec.toranoana.jp/tora_r/ec/item/200012126101/

Hey. You seem at least motivated to take feedback and improve based on comments I made in your previous work, but Minamoto is a big hitter, so I'm going to be a lot more detailed this time. Also, while you're not doing this as a commission, you're not doing this for free - you're advertising your Patreon...

1. Please don't smash big, white, ugly textboxes because you couldn't bother redrawing the background. If you have to, take a break and practice your cleaning and redrawing skills. It's so tiring to see colored works butchered like this (I also firmly believe colored works are way too advanced for beginners.)

2. You're completely disregarding font sizes (as early as page 1) and types from the original. Using a single font for EVERY piece of dialogue, moan, and whatnot is just lazy, unless that's what the original also does (it doesn't here). You're also using the wrong colors for some of the dialogues (pro tip: Alt+Left Click when using the Brush tool automatically converts the brush to the color you're clicking on. You can then simply copy-paste the color # and have a perfect match in your translation.)

3. Why are you adding text on the cover page? If you're not going to clean and typeset the already existing text, just leave the cover as is.

4. The raw scan has some pretty bad quirks, but it's a very good habit to clean and correct those imperfections. I see you leveled your pages - you should also remove and redraw tears/smudges like the big one on the right edge of page 1.

5. Translation is stiff at times. You're also completely ignoring basic punctuation half the time (yes, you do have to capitalize at the beginning of a sentence, and you do have to put a dot at the end.)

6. Many of the chapters in this book have already been translated. Please do your research.

I know I'm coming across as an asshole, but let's avoid adding to the already nauseous sea of garbage flooding EH daily. Here are useful resources for you: https://quicksandscans.wordpress.com/resources/

EDIT: I'm glad you've started redrawing the backgrounds after cleaning up transparent bubbles. It's not perfect and there's still lots of work to do, but at least you're on the right track now. Please also take into consideration the other points (cleaning, typesetting, text colors, etc.) in your future projects.

Last edited on 28 August 2021, 20:28.

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>All that ASS

>No Anal

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Thanks, dude! Glad to see a translation from the tank.

Base +7, brotherdudejack +6

I don't think adjusting the colors was a good idea. If you directly compare the lower half of gallery image 2 with the original on a monitor with halfway decent color settings it becomes clear that you came pretty close to copyof-ing this whole thing.

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I get the feeling I've been seeing new TLers here and there lately (learners during pandemic?) and I couldn't be more excited about that.

Base +6, AngryElPresidente +6

Thanks for translation, nice work there <3

cant wait for the whole Tankoubon getting translated !

Base +6