I am still learning japanese so I cannot guarantee to you
that the translation is contextually correct or appropriate.
I did this because I love this series.

You can support the artist by buying a digital copy of the doujin.
at this link:

https://www.dmm.co.jp/dc/doujin/-/list/=/article=maker/id=78112/

Same series, in English TR:
1. https://e-hentai.org/g/1569210/f5032a24fd/
3. https://e-hentai.org/g/1872828/149de2f33c/

Raw of this one:
https://e-hentai.org/g/1857370/265e1ccbce/

Base +47, Palaxius +36

can't comment on the translation, but your grammar QC needs a lot of work across the 3 uploads you did.
if english isn't your first language or you're not confident enough with your grammar, try using grammarly for quick checks.
cheers!

Base +18, SkullDraecos +5, funk_u_up +14, IncognitoMaud +6, see-eff +8, Anon705 +7, wakkawalla +7

#1: https://e-hentai.org/g/1569210/f5032a24fd/

#2: https://e-hentai.org/g/2032888/989b03f3ef/

#3: https://e-hentai.org/g/1872828/149de2f33c/

#4: https://e-hentai.org/g/2032891/4f5239c7b8/

#5: <-- You are here

Base +19, Palaxius +36, traversal +14, SkullDraecos +5, alphabetagama +8, IncognitoMaud +6, tmlptmlptmlp +8, Xobotun +8, Anon705 +7

Mother has the slut mole... lol

Base +8

For future projects, PLEASE use the original sized images for editing and not e-hentai's downscaled 1280px horizontal resolution images.

You can download the original resolution images via one of the following methods:
0. Stay away from aggregator site like nh because the mostly simply copy e-hentai's downscaled 1280px horizontal res images instead of the full res images.
1. Torrent Download (if available; WARNING torrents not always contain the latest or the full res version of a gallery. Downscaled torrents normally have 1280x in their names)
2. Archive Download (click on "Archive Download" and "Download Original Archive"; e-hentai account and some GP or Credits required)
3. The "Download Original" link at the bottom of each individual image (if there is noch such link the image on your screen and the original are identical)

Base +19, somercet +11, TropicTurd +6, funk_u_up +14, IncognitoMaud +6, tmlptmlptmlp +8, see-eff +8, Anon705 +7

Here's a cleaned-up version of the first ten pages, in case you plan to update this gallery in the future. Also, you may want to look around for a proofreader the next time.

P03
"Rented", not "bought" -- unless the raw specifies that she actually purchased the entire place.
"How is it" might be a better phrase than "How about it".
"What do you think", not "What did you think", since she's asking for Akito's present opinion.

P04
"I was", not "Was I".
"From school", not "at school".
"Was brought", not "was bring".
"Stripped naked", not "stripped down naked".

P06
"Will he be able to" or better yet "Can you do that", not "Will he able to".
"Who allowed you", not "Who allows you".

P07
"A boner", not "an boner".
"It's really the same as you, no patience at all", not "It's really the same no patience as all".
"Mr. Servant's dick... it's been a while", not "Mr. Servant's dick after a long time".
"I'll taste it a bit" or "I'll have a quick taste", not "I will taste a little".

P08
"Servant-kin belongs to Nao after all, Mia-chan", not "After all Servant-kun belongs to Nao, Mia-chan".

P09
"What do you mean", not "What did you mean".
I don't know what the raw actually says, but "You can go easy on him a little bit" might be a better fit than "You can overlook a little bit", since she was advised to take it easy in an earlier panel.

Incidentally, I noticed that the SFX on Page 10 are in Chinese. Does this mean that this is a JAP-CHI-ENG translation, or did you simply edit the Chinese pages?

Base +37, funk_u_up +14, IncognitoMaud +6, tmlptmlptmlp +8, Glovelove. +8, see-eff +8

Not much of a guessing game when they can't stop squealing when it's their turn to take a dick.

Base +6, RefinedFapper +6

where is part 6?

Base +6