This is an rework from https://e-hentai.org/g/2075204/4fb36d2db7/
I tried another font and implemented the corrections. Thx meow_pao

I'm not sure, if this version is better than the old one. So i uploaded it parallel.
What do you think?

My other translations:

I tried to translate the books from zuru. I hope you like it.

Marisa's thrill:
Part 1: https://e-hentai.org/g/2075204/4fb36d2db7/ --- Original: https://e-hentai.org/g/1468916/2ed633622c/
Part 1 reworked with another font: https://e-hentai.org/g/2083480/3b2f90391a/
Part 2: https://e-hentai.org/g/2075982/596cf3abf1/ --- Original: https://e-hentai.org/g/1468916/2ed633622c/
Part 3: https://e-hentai.org/g/2076710/19e8e4d98f/ --- Original: https://e-hentai.org/g/1757356/22b5c92217/
Part 4: https://e-hentai.org/g/2077608/d4c60cf46d/ --- Original: -
Part 5: https://e-hentai.org/g/2078514/78ea114ca4/ --- Original: https://e-hentai.org/g/2052886/27dfe60497/
Part 6: https://e-hentai.org/g/2356996/c9990889e3/ --- Original: https://e-hentai.org/g/2306410/8ca2181b2d/
Part 7: https://e-hentai.org/g/2362513/ca32385480/ --- Original: https://e-hentai.org/g/2321034/fa41ec8429/
Part 8: https://e-hentai.org/g/2643424/f25642eb18/ --- Original: https://e-hentai.org/g/2585546/7e8eee8c2d/

Escape Queen Juna:
Part 1: https://e-hentai.org/g/2648169/426bae23ec/ --- Original: https://e-hentai.org/g/2474740/c0dfe43183/
Part 2: https://e-hentai.org/g/2768546/55501fe23f/ --- Original: https://e-hentai.org/g/2700481/c793ca3feb/

女孩子要保护好自己（迫真）

Base +6, LordBarn -7, karin chan -6, 人间仙境 +6

I liked the font in the first version more.

Base +6, LordBarn -7

Non of the fonts is really suited to typeset a manga. Some free comicfonts are Anime Ace (not the pretiest or easisest to work with), Komika, Wurmics Bravo, Wurper Comics. You can download them for free from sites like dafont.com. You can also check blambot.com for their free fonts.

But before continue to translate I recommend you study a typesetting guide or two like one of these:

https://www.insidescanlation.com/etc/the-idiots-guide-to-editing-manga/guide/main
http://www.ruinevil.com/rawr/editguide/index.html
https://quicksandscans.wordpress.com/resources/

Base +19, vPhone +2, velocity606 +6, LordBarn -7, Dememori +4, BobDringus +6, tocaodenhoi1 +8

Art 6. Plot 7. Sexiness 7. Translation 4. All out of 10.

Last edited on 03 November 2022, 15:09.

Base +8, CritiicalMass -6, onlyregistere -14

There is something funny about Marisa claiming having tapes despite that being too advanced for Gensokyo

Base +6

I appreciate your spirit.
For me I don't even care about your translation
but some folks.. you know.

Base +6, BobDringus -6, Doom32 +6, CritiicalMass +6, onlyregistere +14

The entire title is translated wrong except for the name "Marisa", but it's kind of a hard title to translate if you don't know both the source- and target language.

通り魔理沙にきをつけろ -> I will split this in to two parts.

にきをつけろ -> Watch out for
dictionary translation gives be careful/pay attention/take care, but given the context "watch out" is more suitable

通り魔理沙 -> attacks on Marisa Street
This is a play on the Japanese word 通り魔 (evolved from 通り物 I believe) that won't translate directly into English.
通り魔 means:
1- demon who brings misfortune to houses or people he passes by (original meaning of 通り物)
2- random attacker, e.g. person who randomly attacks people on the street, slasher
So, the author makes a pun in Japanese, combinging the meaning of 通り魔(toorima) with the name 魔理沙(marisa)
The meaning of the combined word Toorimarisa/Toori Marisa then becomes roughly "Marisa who contains the traits of 1. and 2." (Marisa certainly both brings misfortune to the person she "passes by" -Satori, and "randomly" attacks her). Quite a clever title!
It is then left up the translator's discretion and judgement to choose something suitable in English, like my suggestion.
attacks on Marisa Street -> Marisa will attack you "if you get all up in her biz" (Marisa Street) and tries to steal her guy. I might have given it some more thought if it was my translation I intended to publish here, but I think it carries the meaning well and a nice flow to it.

So a proper title translation would be:

通り魔理沙にきをつけろ -> Watch out for attacks on Marisa Street

P.S. the new title (part 5) just dropped for those who are interested!
DLsite様 https://www.dlsite.com/maniax/work/=/product_id/RJ399903.html
Fanza様 https://www.dmm.co.jp/dc/doujin/-/detail/=/cid=d_234826/
BOOTH様 https://booth.pm/ja/items/3966711

edit: I read through a bit to compare the translation with the raws. I'm too lazy to do the whole thing, but here's some corrections for page 13:

うわぁ きったねー ゲロ吐きやがって
translation: Oh, why did you vomit? Are you sick?
correction: Jeez, that's filthy. You fucking vomited!

はぁ はぁ
translation: What...?
correction: Hah Hah

うぇぅ...
translation: Why?
correction: Ugh...

オマエに香霖は渡さない
translation: Kourin is forbidden for you.
correction: I'm not giving Kourin to you.

この子...... (minor)
translation: This child...
correction: This girl......

オマエなんかに盗られてたまるか
translation: I won't let you steal him.
correction: I won't bear him being stolen away by the likes of you.

どう？ 読めてる？ (minor)
translation: Now Read my mind!
correction: Well? Are you reading? ---> (my mind?) optional to include, though not in raws, it's explained in a previous page about Satori's mind reading powers.

古明地さとり今ここでアンタを二度と香霖に会えない身体にしてやる
translation: Satori Komeiji. I will force you never to see Kourin again.
correction: Satori Komeiji, right here, right now, I'm going to give you a body that will make you unable to see Kourin ever again.

@wa66rpg - I get what you're trying to say, but for some people, the story and text add a lot (or even most) of the flavor. And you're going to miss a lot of contexts and the author's intended feel/mood when the translation is far away from the raws.

Last edited on 01 July 2022, 14:59.

Base +22, Zeratulxxx +6, IaNflip +11, axleswift +6