All pages translated by me. You can also read the sequel here: https://e-hentai.org/g/1965727/f3f4136bb2/

I hope you can translate more of this artist's work.
Thank you.

Base +6, jjaysenea2003 +6, shinangels +19, Ass Spanker -24, incogna777 -7, TheRokyando +7, Imsolo -6, BlueSmoke -7, sgc_geh -11, TheGoodGiggle -11, Ryo75 -17, Danknuggets -9, Vivi1993 -18, and 5 more...

"Practice," she says.

Base +24, DesRed +6

>Rushed this a bit, but feel free to suggest any improvements.
Just wanna preface this by saying that there's really no need to rush anything. I think you and I both want these works to be done justice.

1) You don't redraw. I know it takes time, effort, and practice, and I know it sucks, but redrawing is unfortunately a basic part of scanlation. The guide below should pull you through 90%+ of any redrawing scenario you'll ever encounter.
2) Your typesetting is bizarre - almost as if you were adding random spaces between words. Also, you sometimes forget to a) center the text in the bubbles; and b) center-align it. Guide below is extremely well-made, and simple to follow.
3) There's dust in your bubbles (text remnants after you clean). Guide below on cleaning covers that part.
4) Please export black and white images as greyscaled PNGs, and NOT RGB JPGs. This is to a) avoid artifacting; b) maintain quality; and c) de-bloat file size.
5) I'm pretty sure you're up-scaling this. Please don't. If you're going to, you absolutely need to learn how to properly de-noise and restore sharpness, else it looks blurry and ugly as shit.

General: https://quicksandscans.wordpress.com/resources/
Typesetting: https://web.archive.org/web/20190406011154/https://fallensyndicate.wordpress.com/typesetting-tutorial/
Redrawing: https://web.archive.org/web/20150421210157/http://www.redhawkscans.com/showthread.php?7057-Rain-s-Redraw-Tutorials
Basic cleaning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glfdOwM3TFE

Good luck.

Last edited on 15 December 2021, 01:07.

Base +13, Isolation_Q +9, qazmlpok +24, as102 +12, fagduha7brry +4, Glovelove. +7, 8thPlanet +6, sgc_geh +11, Valvrein +3, crowns -6, CaptainFlint +5, xxxsonic +6, Teh_Red_Guy +11, and 31 more...

I only upscaled the cover here, and the other pages are in JPG because I just took them from the raw tank. Should I update this gallery by saving those images as PNGs?

I was mainly asking how to improve the English translation itself, but thanks for the tips on improving my editing.

Base +12, Bruzer567 +6, NewtBlack -6, crowns -6, accretiaV2 -6, THDragon -28, aurst -7, wolfspitz -7, dankestdungeon -21, Ass Spanker -24, TheRokyando +7, Imsolo -6, BlueSmoke -7, and 2 more...

I mean, it's not catastrophic or anything, but sure, you can. Make sure to convert into grayscale too (Image => Mode => Grayscale). This is also extremely useful to properly level. Here's an example of the settings I use when I export (Export => Save for Web (Legacy)): https://imgur.com/a/HGalPne

You can mess around with the amount of colors, but rest should pretty much be the same. Most scanners do a poor job of leveling and converting the RAWs to grayscale PNGs, so always gotta watch out for that.

On translation, I only compared the first page to the RAWs, but as long as you're accurate to the original (meaning, intent, tone) and don't rewrite, you've done your job. The rest just comes with experience. If you can, getting a QC/editor also helps with refining the final product (some of your lines sound very mechanical.)

Base +13, Th3 Sl0th +6, kidousenshi -6, cynamonbunz +34, Glovelove. +7, crowns +6, wolfspitz +7, Megaton +45, Imsolo +6, sgc_geh +11, TheGoodGiggle +11, cupcakee +6

@cutegyaru: Don't worry or fret, I'll be providing my own translation of this, with a much better editing job, and from the looks of it, translation. When I have the time, that is.

Base +6, NewtBlack +6, Th3 Sl0th +6, crowns +6, cynamonbunz +34, bigscuba +8, Ryougi +12, SerafX +6, MelmothTheWanderer +35, wolfspitz +7, Ass Spanker +24, Megaton +45, wootwoot123 +6, and 9 more...

@8TB: Can't wait, man. Thanks for helping me translate the sequel to this, too; you should share more summaries with me.

Last edited on 15 December 2021, 08:19.

Base +12, Darksword696 -20, NewtBlack -6, Bruzer567 +6, EroYin -6, Great Me +9, crowns -6, cynamonbunz -30, FeloDS -10, Senorfluffy -6, sgc_geh -11, biscardone -7, Glovelove. -7, and 2 more...

@8TB
Bless.

Base +13, Th3 Sl0th +6, cynamonbunz +34, sgc_geh +11, crowns +6, wolfspitz +7, Ass Spanker +24, Megaton +45, TheRokyando -7, Imsolo +6, TheGoodGiggle +11

RAW: https://e-hentai.org/g/1261648/c7173d667c/
P.1 - "Who I have a secret relationship with" is not a sentence.
P.1 - "We have to own up for our actions" that's not how the phrase goes it's "own up to".
P.2 - "Now he's pressed for it" should've been "now he's pressed". Also the use of slang in a translation is usually highly suspect.
P.8 - "She'd always take care of me when I'd come over" should be "she'd always take care of me when I came over".
P.12 - "Surely you will regret it" is missing a comma after "surely". Also the "will" could be changed to "would" depending on the context of the situation.
P.16 - The question "get over here" doesn't make sense. "Get over here" is a declarative statement or an order. It should be instead be "coming?" This also highlights her playful, relaxed nature better.
P.22 - You should omit the "we" in "we became a couple". Same for the "about" in "we have a secret relationship..."
P.25 - "With your baby, Hajime" is not a sentence combine it with the previous sentence.
P.25 - "I'm so full in my belly" sounds like a machine translation. It could instead be, "My belly is so/too full." Or if you followed the raw more closely it would be something like "my belly is getting full".
P.26 - "We don't always see each other. So, I'm always backed up." These two sentences could easily be one: "We don't always see each other, so I'm always backed up."
P.26 - "I'm cooking a little." What is this sentence. This makes no sense in the context and looking back at the raw I can now see why. This sentence was machine translated. No doubt about it.
Chotto matte. You directly translated chotto (ちょっと) as a little. Any weeb worth his value in waifus can clearly tell you it's meant to be used as a "Hey!", "Stop (it)!" or "Hold it/on!" in this situation.
Any one of those would've worked but you took the one meaning that made no sense here.
P.26 - "I want to have sex with Akane all the time whenever I'm with her" could've easily been shorten to "I always want to have sex with Akane whenever I'm with her."

The whole situation with you requiring a summary to translate something is telling enough. If you could translate, you wouldn't need a summary in the first place. You'd just directly translate the text, no?
So the most likely conclusion is you're an amateur at Japanese and are getting pointers, or you're machine translating this with the basic plot points. Maybe both.
Seeing this and your past works (https://e-hentai.org/g/1836161/9eb6d05d62/ & https://e-hentai.org/g/1965727/f3f4136bb2/) and taking in to account the situation and how liberal you are with your word choice there, it kind of paints the whole picture here.

"Yeah it's a very mechanical translation; I could have made it more natural, but I felt this way was more faithful to the original text."
If by faithful you meant to get the translation wrong, then sure. It only points to the conclusion that machine translations can't be trusted for clarity, nor fidelity.

@8TB As a fan of Bifidus, I've got to say thank you for saving this absolute piece of art, you magnificent bastard! I hope you'll translate the sequel later, but it's fine if you don't.
Either way, since it's in season and it's the least I could do for you, "I wish you happy holidays and have a great new year!"
Looking forward to it. Cheers, mate!

@PureEnergy Thanks for the comment. I never saw them as "'correct'" only as improvements as there is no such thing as "'correct' language" as you stated.
This is because languages are always transforming/evolving and subject to taste.
You can find this in your use of em dashes for parenthetical information " - in reality - ". It contains spaces instead of no spaces.
(They're not em dashes technically, but those things are a pain to input, so it's understandable.)
I also prefer this spaced style too as it is easier to read and accentuates that piece of information. Simply put, it all comes down to preference and styles.

Some of my examples are very much this, i.e. P. 8,12, & 22. (Maybe more depending on your taste.)
The correction made on page 8 - "she'd always take care of me when I came over" - is what I'd prefer over the original because it omits the second contracted "would". Why? It sounds repetitive and extra.
Both sentences are acceptable, really.
Page 12's correction is just a punctuation check kept in line with the original sentence.
I primarily favor American English, but now that you point it out, I do prefer putting "surely" in the front-end of a sentence.
Imagine if you were to say it out loud; the sentence would automatically put the stress on "surely", surely. ;)
This accentuation breaks the normal monotonous tone of the sentence much easier when compared to "You will surely regret it." (This is especially true when you silently read it.)
You could make the argument that "you" is stressed here instead of "surely" and it's true. Although I would prefer "surely" to "you" because "you" sounds accusatory and generally holds negative connotations. Semantics... this is not, but this conversation does make it feel like it's about one. Agree to disagree.
In the end, maybe I've been tainted by the Queen's English, and now I'm a horrible amalgamation of both American and Ingerland's English... But it's not so bad, innit?

P.S. No offense, but what's with dramatic flair, bud? You kind of went philosophical there. You smoking something? If so, please share it with the class.

Last edited on 16 December 2021, 22:26.

Base +7, milo50 -6, cynamonbunz +34, bigscuba +8, Vivi1993 +18, EroYin +6, aurst +7, crowns +6, ShamaLlama +17, Ryougi +12, mysto0 +6, Xerxis -8, Ass Spanker +24, and 14 more...

I'm gonna don my flame-proof cloak here because a few comments are needed on the subject of 'correct' English., or more accurately, American English.

Translators and proof-readers need to remember that what constitutes a 'correct' language will always vary depending on era, region, race, fads, and other 'Here-today-gone-tomorrow' influences (Anyone remember 'California Valley Girl' talk...?).

Yes, scholars will pontificate endlessly on this subject, but - in reality - there is no more a 'correct' way of saying something than there is a 'correct' color of the sky.

What DOES exist 'out there' is a 'Generally-Regarded-as-a-Socially-Acceptable' way of saying something...and again, "Acceptable" varies with era, region and race.

Examples here...?

P.8 - "She'd always take care of me when I'd come over" should be "she'd always take care of me when I came over".
As a proofreader, I'd see nothing wrong with "come", because it falls within acceptable variants of tense in that context.

P.12 - "Surely you will regret it" is missing a comma after "surely"[...]
I would 'correct' it by saying it should be: "You will surely regret it."
Starting a sentence with "surely' is more British English than American English.

[The movie "Airplane" and it's classic 'follow-up' line of: "Stop calling me Shirley." is a good example of how silly "surely" can sound in a sentence.]

That's it..? Yes, I see my cloak is smoldering... Students, please leave quietly by the designated exits...

Base +11, kidousenshi +6, Stemare -6, milo50 +6, cynamonbunz +34, sgc_geh -11, jjaysenea2003 -6, wolfspitz -7, Megaton +45, TheGoodGiggle +11, bergil -6, TheBrojangles -6

I wasn't sure what "a little" was referring to, but I could tell by the context of the panel and her saying "That's no good" right after that she was telling him not to have sex with her, because she was in the middle of cooking. I put in "I'm cooking" to make that clearer, but in that case, I should have taken out "a little". Clearly she wasn't cooking just a little bit if she made him a whole meal afterwards. As for "pressed for it", that was what I got when I put it in the translator.

Yeah it's a very mechanical translation; I could have made it more natural, but I felt this way was more faithful to the original text. I also left some Japanese text on gallery page 6 translated, but she's just saying "Aaah" so it's nothing major. Maybe I'll update this with a better translation and editing, though.

EDIT: Well, I tried to do redraws on GIMP, but that shit was taking way too long so I just said fuck it and made only a few changes to the translation. The guys on nH are gonna complain over the repost, though.

Last edited on 16 December 2021, 13:33.

Base +12, kidousenshi +6, Gh1 +7, crowns -6, cynamonbunz -30, FeloDS -10, Darksword696 -20, Senorfluffy -6, sgc_geh -11, EroYin -6, aurst -7, biscardone -7, THDragon -28, and 2 more...

@Vanilla Cream: I have had both chapters translated for some time already--greengrasstree's translation of the second chapter, the one with which I "helped" him is based on elements of my own translation which he has admitted he poached; the only thing that's stalling my release is the editing. If you've seen my work, I tend to do more than just the dialogue (i.e. the SFX are included wherever feasible.) With that said, I've been preoccupied with a 240+ page full color tank for what seems like forever now, not to mention my obligations outside of translating and editing hentai--which ALWAYS take priority over anything else. Nevertheless, I will haul ass on this one because I've grown tired of seeing these hack jobs by impatient--I guess the terms for it would be, "would-be translators." I suck with timelines so I won't give a definite date as to when I'll finish and upload it, but it will be sooner rather than later.

As far as the translation, VC, you made some good points, especially as it concerns how he could've structured his sentences to convey certain sentiments. With that said, he's also missing some key facts in his translation--facts that require more than just GOOGLE translate (which is the reason I assume he failed to pay attention to the context and confused, "ちょっ" with "a little.") There are also many mis-translations. However, I'm not inclined to "help" him anymore with any translations, so when I upload my rendition, you'll see what I'm talking about. Until, then.

Base +6, SophisticTheory -7, crowns +6, Stemare -6, cynamonbunz +34, bigscuba +8, EroYin +6, jjaysenea2003 -6, THDragon +28, MelmothTheWanderer +35, Megaton +45, NewtBlack +6, TheRokyando -7, and 7 more...

Can confirm there are no mistranslations or key facts left out in this one.

Base +4, cynamonbunz -30, crowns -6, FeloDS -10, Darksword696 -20, Senorfluffy -6, sgc_geh -11, EroYin -6, simplesimon32 -30, chriseras -26, EvilSanta -6

Thanks lol

Last edited on 05 September 2023, 21:04.

Base +12, crowns -6, cynamonbunz -30, FeloDS -10, Darksword696 -20, Senorfluffy -6, EroYin -6, biscardone -7, THDragon -28, EvilSanta -6

@Blazington: then your "confirmation" is wrong. But all in due time, you'll see the mistakes that were made. (I'd point them out, but as I've already stated, I'm not inclined to "help" him out, again.) I'll let my work speak for itself. Until then.

Base +6, SophisticTheory -7, crowns +6, Stemare -6, cynamonbunz +34, bigscuba +8, EroYin +6, THDragon +28, Glovelove. +7, wolfspitz +7, Megaton +45, NewtBlack +6, TheRokyando -7, and 6 more...

Can confirm it's a perfect translations with no mistakes.

Base +4, leftrightup +6, jeof96 +7, Halfey Halphstein -6, cynamonbunz -30, crowns -6, jjaysenea2003 -6, accretiaV2 -6, aurst -7, Vivi1993 -18, Glovelove. -7, wolfspitz -7, dankestdungeon -21, and 2 more...

Thanks

Anyway here's a sample of 8TB's scanlation he sent me when he helped me with the sequel
Part One:

https://i.imgur.com/hG65vBs.jpg (lol what? Why would the nephew be saying "my ... aunt?" in this context. Shit makes no sense, and this is 8TB's so-called "accurate" translation. Brb changing my translation back to my own)

Part Two:

https://i.imgur.com/CazaNA7.jpg

Last edited on 05 September 2023, 21:04.

Base +12, underkill +6, cynamonbunz -30, crowns -6, jjaysenea2003 -6, accretiaV2 -6, THDragon -28, aurst -7, Vivi1993 -18, Glovelove. -7, wolfspitz -7, dankestdungeon -21, EvilSanta -6

This is like Baalbuddy's comic.

Base +8, accretiaV2 +6, Braltewrakcus +10, TheGoodGiggle +11, wolfspitz +7, TheRokyando -7, DesRed +6

pg 13 is the ideal body type for breeding. I will fight and die on this hill.

Base +6, wolfspitz +7, Not@Channer +6

Anyone still waiting on 8TB's translation? LOL

Last edited on 26 January 2024, 17:30.

Base +14, TheRokyando +7, psychoolll +4, Excelsion -8, EvilSanta -6, brotherdudejack -10

Wow what a terrible translation

Base +8