RAW: https://e-hentai.org/g/1009833/cadc851f90/

Korean translation: https://e-hentai.org/g/1146750/d760e35b9c/

Base +32

Best vanilla girl. Royal introducing Kasumi dethroned the Queen, but still, "second" best girl.

Base +9, ctown -7, Dundrf -6, -Arthur- +6

Translation quality is extremely questionable. If anyone wants to type out all the details, go ahead, I'm too lazy.

Did you use MTL for this? I'm quite confident you did. Some sentences are really far off. For example on pg. 9, 全部ゆるしてしまう is, by all means, nothing that remotely resembles "Please forgive me". This line is from Makoto's POV. Tying in with the previous page, this line means that she couldn't help but forgive him (let him have his way with her) if he showed her those eyes (which you also mistranslated in pg. 7 to `this guy's face` when it's supposed to be something along the line of, for the lack of better words, a male gaze). This particular example seems funny to me since DeepL actually manages to get the main idea right with "I'll let it all slide."
Pg. 14 is also wrong. The condom is obviously no good since it's already used, tied up, and thrown away. What she said was "You are not using a condom. Don't..." (or something along the line).
On pg. 17, you are not sure about the context of the "There's no way I can forget this" (there is enough space for the entire sentence, don't omit the "There's no way" part). It is related to the last bubble on page 14.
Also pg. 15, how did you manage to insert a dialogue into a bubble that obviously has no text?

Now, onto the technical parts. Pages are levelled so that's one good thing. Typesetting is really bad though.
- No redrawing, leaving a huge white blob on pg.5. A quick cheaty way I used to do (used to, no longer since I no longer do translation work heh) was to just put it as a side note. Now that I checked the RAW to see if it's ok to ignore the line, this is an incorrect translation. Yes, もう can be translated to "already", but is it correct in this case? This is just her pouting when he said she's cute.
- Text with 0 vertical spacing.
- Text overlapping.
- Text not properly centered.
- Text touching bubble border.

All in all, you have a lot to improve on if you want to have higher quality releases in the future. First and foremost, you will either have to learn Japanese + English or get a translator + a proof reader. Typesetting also has a long way to go, though I have to say that it's more decent than a lot of recent uploads on this site.

Edit: Nevermind, it's digital raw, not levelled scans.
Real raw: https://e-hentai.org/g/1942202/738cf519d3/
Image width is 1280px so that's another issue.
Filesize is massively higher despite the lower resolution, another red flag.
I don't have the copy pasta with me so someone with it can post instead.

I forgor. All sentences need to be punctuated as well.

Last edited on 14 January 2022, 09:52.

Base +25, wokawok +9

So he remembers Makoto in between playthroughs is what it boils down to. It's romantic. I like it.

Base +9