Translator JP-EN: Pharos
Editor: Skayya
Proofreader: nitramy
Quality Checkers: nitramy, kokokbeluk
Fap Tester: Anonymous

Raw: https://e-hentai.org/g/2109913/78f3c6d3a8/

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A lot of my comments have more to do with omissions than actual mistranslations (though sometimes it's the case). I know JP authors can get repetitive, but dropping entire parts of a sentence or of an exchange without making up for it somehow doesn't work. Also: if you plug these sentences into GT or DeepL, they WILL drop the parts they can't parse.

I've tagged out of consistency, but this is borderline justifiable with what's below. Can add more if needed, or simply remove the tag if the more egregious mistakes are fixed.

rough translation

Page 3
Your TL: Illya-chan... What do you plan to do on Christmas?
JP text: イリアちゃんクリスマスだからって張り切って何する気なんだい？
Author intent: You're omitting 張り切って, meaning that she's in pretty high-spirits/excited to do something (here, because it's Christmas).

Page 4
Your TL: What are you talking about?
JP text: 何とぼけてるーっ
Author intent: Not what ぼけてる means. "What are you playing dumb for?" Kinda making fun of his stammer/fake "oh uh, i have NO IDEA what you're doing in that slutty getup!! wink wink!!"

Page 5
Your TL: Okay, let's give it a try.
JP text: じゃあ試してみようかなーっ
Author intent: "How about we put this to the test, then?" She's calling his bluff that he's only getting a boner because it's a "human reflex" (when, in fact, it's because he's a lolicon), not that she wants to "try something".

Page 5
Your TL: Illya-chan's body... smells nice...
JP text: イリアちゃんのお尻と体・・・いいにおい・・・
Author intent: Omission. "Her ass and her body... smell nice..."

Page 5
Your TL: Uwaah, that's disgusting!
JP text: うわぁみっともなーい
Author intent: Does not mean disgusting in context, but rather improper or unseemly (i.e not what a grown-ass man should be doing, especially not to a little girl).

Page 7
Your TL: Even though Oji-san's virgin dick is so small, its smell is so strong~
JP text: 変態童貞おじさんのざこちんちんちっちゃいくせにくさいよぉ～
Author intent: Omitting 変態 (pervert/perverted).

Page 9
Your TL: A dirty and stinky virgin's dick... it's the worst.
JP text: 童貞でくさくて汚くてそーろーって最低だよねーっ
Author intent: Omitted 早漏（そーろー), or premature ejaculation.

Page 11
Your TL: It's so pathetic; I don't even need to pinch my boobs.
JP text: こんなおっぱいでも挟めちゃうんだぁ情けなーい
Author intent: A lot of this sentence relies on the previous line. "[Your cock is such a small fry,] it can be sandwiched even with tits like these. Pathetiiiic!" The idea is that she has relatively small tits, but even then, she can still hold his dick between them (cuz it's small).

Page 12
Your TL: Uwah~ Where are you rubbing your dick on?
JP text: うわどこにざこちんちんすりつけてるの？
Author intent: Omitted ざこ. "Uugh. Where are you rubbing that little wiener?" Also, "where are you rubbing on" isn't accurate English.

Page 12
Your TL: Eeh, disgusting! You want to have sex with a [redacted]-schooler's pussy... such a disappointment...
JP text: えーきっもぉ。O学生のはじめておまんこでエッチしたいってドン引きだよぉ・・・
Author intent: More omissions plus a mistranslation. "Uugh, gross! You want to fuck a [redacted]-schooler's virgin pussy? I'm speechless [or any variation of, but certainly not "disappointed"]..."

misc QC:

p.4 where are you staring at => what OR remove the "at"
p.5 this is something like human nature => this is just human nature...

Last edited on 25 February 2022, 22:34.

Base +15, czerkill +10, Mandraken +6, Echoleon +6, f0f +5, Jeress +7, kidzir +6, Lostalgia +9, Olivki +6, csavarhuzo +6, Rabaa +7, Nitramy -6, Longsworduser +16, and 15 more...

"Tiny ass"
That's all I've got to say.

Base +6, Torento +6, csavarhuzo +6, WeebSlayer +6, Braltewrakcus +10, Meekiss +6, zeroctm +6, zepeli +9, GaRbS +6, Moojuice +7, sweetflan +9, minnazzo +25

10/10

10/10 Best dojinshi ever

Mesugaki is an amazing thing.

Base +15, Basileusser +5, Rare CIA +6, khrwanillwwat +6, GaRbS +6

My nitpick is tagging. the context is FGO, NOT same character as the anime/manga 1,5

Base +13