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Nice job coloring it!

Base +15, Teh_Red_Guy -11

I think something feels off with the highlights on the skin areas... And there's a LOT of blue being used. (I know it's a Blue Archive doujin, but still)

Could use some warmer colors, especially during the sex scenes. Overall has this really gloomy vibe... 6/10

Base +6, KNY +9

This looks great for a colorized

Base +6

this is how osama bin laden evaded capture for years

Base +7, Wiki Ganjero +6

It maybe Colorized by Style2paints V4

FREE! Style2paints V4 gives you results of the current highest quality.
You are able to get separated layers from our system.
These layers can be directly used in your painting workflow.
Different from all previous AI driven colorization tools, our results are not single 'JPG/PNG' images, and in fact, our results are 'PSD' layers.

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Base +16, ijkjlj +14, Snariaz -6, Kyokugen -8, SomeLazyDouche -7

Each doujinshi is made by hand
As I draw on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1kavAXD2VWBBzMWfDWbuOQ/videos

Base +6

Some coloring considerations with the background characters:

On pg. 3, Akane's eye color should've be golden-tan instead of blue, Asuna's eye color should've be light blue instead of gold, and her hair should've also been blonde (about the same as Akane's) and not white. Concerning their outfits, Neru's jacket is white and black, as opposed to blue and black. Akane's leotard is white and the scarf/shawl (idk man) wrapped around her body is light brown, rather than gray. The actual color of Asuna's leotard is closer to what you have put as Akane's.
These aren't as important but, following the original CG's designs, on pg. 2 the masked sukeban's serafuku is light blue and white, instead of black and red. Her hair is also a lighter color. The helmet girl's visor should've also been red, with a dark gray sailor collar and a pale yellow neckerchief.

Additionally, like Quartz said, the coloring is pretty cold/dull and the blue used as the background does not help with reducing the induced gloomy atmosphere. Not to mention, the building is actually supposed to be closer to gray instead of blue, according to her L2D, but that's less important.

Won't tell you to check the source material for the coloring of every single thing, but just something to keep in mind.

Base +3, fula_flight +7, Progeusz +8