this is my first upload. Be nice.

Show's promise among the three. Simple, gets straight into the action. Some few artistry mistakes such as the breast view for the first missionary of Daye, but overall I find it charming.

I hope the artist that does work on this read Forviews Cheer and get some more inspiration regarding some more three way action + Flirting + Rivalry among the amours.

Thank you for uploading this. I liked it.

Base +6, pixelator +6, jaynautk +6, sogeth +30, MehMeher -8

> Be nice
NEVER

Like with all starting/new artists, one thing is important to remember: anatomy, anatomy, anatomy. Your style is good but perhaps a little unrefined (lack of shadow, little shading) but you do show potential. I like the pacing! Solid arc as far as porn goes, and fairly good typesetting. Some remarks on specific pages: 2 - Arrows plus names are a bit too exposure-y, and you left-justify your text. Looks off, for speech balloon. I was also reading L to R first. 3 - nice layout. Dayes forearm looks a bit off. 7 - great panel! Keep in mind that heads turned away from the viewer cannot show a lot of emotion. 8 - punctuation could help create more tension between speech bubbles. Also: do you trace/copy? Some detailed shots are a more detailed/anatomically correct. Keep in mind that taking inspiration from others to practice is perfectly fine, but taking one-for-one shots is usually not helpful to help you grow and improve as an artist. Then again, I could be meming myself into thinking this. 9 - perspective of the bed is borked. 11 - the upper three panels lack a bit of depth/positioning? Fourth shot is great though. 13 - The upper panel looks squished in the vertical direction. Last panel: the shaft of the penis does not originate from the ballsack, but is attached a bit deeper, just like the ballsack. Good use of gravity on Daye, but the left nipple is too high. 16 - Nice shots as well. The bed looks a bit crooked. Last panel: nice fingerwork (hah) but where do the arms of Lue and Mikaru go? 17 and beyond - I like your epilogue a lot, and it sets up for more quality to come.
Practicing is vital , so keep it up and you will see yourself improving in due time! Looking forward to more.

Base +7, Interficere +6, Dinaih +6, pixelator -6, jaynautk +6, MehMeher +8

Thanks for the feedback anon102938. This is actually my first time making anything adult so it was pretty touch and go some places. I’m actually making all this from a phone and it’s tough making these as good as I can get them. There will be more but I’m changing how I’m going to do them to try and save aggregation.

Also vote down on the anal tags. There is no anal in these. Mainly cause this is inspired by my relationship and Daye (not her real name) doesn’t do anal…yet.

Base +1, Arisseos +6, pixelator +6, jaynautk +6, MehMeher -8

I would have prefered without the yaoi, but the mmf scene was really hot.

Base +6, pixelator -6, MehMeher -8

Oh my guard

Base +6, MehMeher -8