RAW: https://e-hentai.org/s/8abfe275ea/1241644-89

>two proofreaders and three translators (how tf does that even work????)

rough grammar

p.1 big bro is blushing red > the expression you're looking for is "beet red". or just cut "red"
p.1 cause not everyone > 'cause (else it's a completely different word)
p.2 eventhough
p.2 i can't deal with such woman > such a
p.4 but her nips are still pink colored > "colored" is unnecessary.
p.5 it doesn't look like > referring to breasts. "they don't look like anything I've seen in porn..."
p.5 good, she's not even awake > this is probably a mistranslation. why would he say "she's not even" when he clearly already stated a few pages back that she's asleep? she's been asleep and he's been fucking around with her for a while now
p.7 an unacceptable behavior > cut "an"
p.7 what i'm even saying... > what am I even saying?
p.7 Hii > this makes no sense in English. People would naturally read this as an elongated "hi". Eek or Eep
p.8 I like the kid who honestly apologizes > why is she referring to an indeterminate "the kid"? "I like kids who apologize."
p.8 when was the last time I'm being hugged like this... > when was the last time I was/got hugged like this...?

there's more than this.

Base +18, GeniusDuck +6, CMOT +6, DarkTemplarXIII +6, rsx205 +20, PinguPrin +7, BakaStratos +9, darkrider1 +9, funk_u_up +13, TCJJ +9, MAZIGA +6, dankestdungeon +22, Megaton +45, and 2 more...