RAW: https://e-hentai.org/s/368f84ec6a/1593100-296

I don't know what happened here man. How can you have 8 people working on something and still make this many mistakes. And it's not all stuff I can tag, like basic punctuation, capitalization, cleaning, forgotten text, forgotten floating text, poor typesetting, etc etc. Like okay you're all ESL so there's gonna be some awkward things but how are you making flat out mistakes. And I really want to stress the translation I found ripped DIRECTLY from DeepL on page 18, what was that? Is this all MTL? Can you guys even speak Japanese? Poor showing man.

Page 1.

TL: Have you finished the document I asked you to help with, Fuyukawa-kun?
OG: ふゆかわくん頼んでた資料は．．．
Author: “About that document I requested, Fuyukawa-kun…”, didn’t ask about help, didn’t ask about finishing, didn’t capture the tone for what he’s going for. He’s just starting to ask about the document when he gets interrupted and then unnerved and then impressed by her abrupt response.

TL: I already put it on your desk.
OG: 先生の机上に置きましたが
Author: “I placed it on your desk, Sensei.” No ‘already’. The whole tone of this conversation is misunderstood.

TL: Oh right, my bad!
OG: あーほんとだすまんね！
Author: “Ah, is that right? Please excuse me!”

Page 4.

TL: The Memories of her are embedded in my head forever
OG: 記憶に焼き付いて消えそうにない
Author: “...was burned so deep into my memories I’m unlikely to ever forget it.”, it’s a continuation from the previous sentence.

TL: …we hid the fact both of us are dating.
OG: ．．かくして先輩と俺はおつきあいすることになった
Author: “...and just like that, Senpai and I began dating.” No idea where you got the ‘dating in secret’ bit from.

Page 6.

TL: I was so happy…I didn’t want to be disillusioned.
OG: 嬉しかったから．．．幻滅してほしくないけど．．．
Author: “I was so happy, so…I really didn’t want you to become disillusioned by me…”, she’s talking about him becoming disillusioned with her, not her becoming disillusioned by…something?

Page 7.

TL: It’s too sudden…
OG: いきなりこんなー
Author: “All the sudden, she’s-”, no ‘too’.

Page 18.

TL: Of course you’re happy…
OG: 嬉しいにきまってるじゃないですか．．．
Author: “There’s no way I wouldn’t be happy…”. Straight up MTL line copied word for word from DeepL. I see you buddy.

TL: There’s no way you’re not happy having sex with the person you like!
OG: 好きな人とセックスできうれしくないわけないですよ．．．！
Author: “I don’t know anyone that would be unhappy being able to have sex with the person they love…!”, attributed to the wrong person (and just a messy sentence in general

Page 20.

TL: That pretty senior of mine…is being fucked by me. Your pussy is tighter when I called your name. Isn’t this the best…
OG: 可愛い．．．あの先輩が俺の沈歩ハメながら名前呼ぶとマンコがきつくなって最高かよ．．．
Author: She’s so beautiful…that Senpai of mine…pussy keeps getting tighter when I call her name while she rides my cock…this is the best…” (my TL is fucking garbage but it’ll do) basically this whole thing is a run on sentence, you’ve got past tenses where they don’t belong and everything just sounds awkward.

Page 24.

TL: N/A
OG: 内心
Author: “Inner thoughts”

Page 2.

Me going to pass > I’m going to pass

Please join us for once in a while, okay? > Please join us every once and a while, okay?

Page 3.

I admit that we’re not really suitable being together…but still, > I admit, we’re not really that suitable for one another, but still…

I know it might bother you, I’m graduating in March, but I really want to tell you no matter what. > I’m graduating in March and, while I know it might bother you, it’s something I just had to tell you no matter what!

You don’t need to answer immediately, I’m okay with it. > It’s alright if you don’t give me an answer right away…

Page 5.

I’m fine with it, besides It’s not really my thing. > I’m fine. Besides, they’re not really my sort of thing.

I’d rather be with you than going to the party… > I’d rather be with you than go to the party…

Let’s drink…just the two of us? > How about we go drink…just the two of us?

Page 6.

We are dating now, how’s it? > How is it now that we’re dating?

Page 7.

Are you really Fuyukawa-senpai? > Is this really Fuyukawa-senpai? (If you wanted to keep this line, the previous line should be, “Even if you’re drunk, are you really Fuyukawa-senpai?)

Page 11.

Is Senpai what they called a ‘closeted pervert’? > Is Senpai what they call a ‘closeted pervert’?

Last edited on 07 March 2023, 13:50.

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