gyarubus, gyarubus, riding on a gyarubus

edit: fixed some missing dialogue and wording, thanks codemaster for pointing them out
edit 2: stray comma on p8 fuck!!! not fixing this one sorry

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

pixiv/fanbox blurb:
やはりサキュバスは偉大
"Succubi are awesome, of course"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

raws: https://e-hentai.org/g/2535680/506f432f22/
https://hotate0731.fanbox.cc/posts/5807814

artist links (hotate-chan):
https://hotate0731.fanbox.cc/
https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/29573185
https://twitter.com/hotate3333333
https://skeb.jp/@hotate3333333
https://www.dmm.co.jp/dc/doujin/-/list/=/article=maker/id=206423/
https://www.dlsite.com/maniax/circle/profile/=/maker_id/RG71992.html

So, a couple things I feel I need to comment on for this. First of all, you skipped the bottom right text on page 5. Also, a few translation things:

しかし意外とやるなこのハゲ親父 (pg1)
She's saying, "But this damn geezer is pretty skilled."
本当はイケメンがいいけど, この冴えないオッサン我慢してやるか (pg2)
"I'd rather do it with a hottie, but I guess I'll settle for this boring old geezer."
これはおじさんもすぐいちゃいそうかも... (pg6)
He's more saying he feels like she might make him cum soon because of the position not that thinks he is cumming. Also, use reverse cowgirl or just say she's on top. Cowgirl doesn't fit the position.
さ…しゃくせいしなきゃ… (pg6)
I don't know if I like "samples" for 搾精 here. Might just be a nitpick from me though.

Nothing major that would detract from the reader's experience. The rest would just be nitpicks with the phrasing, like how aggressive you made the old dude sound at times. Either way, solid overall and good to see someone working on Hotate's stuff.

Last edited on 02 June 2023, 21:39.

Base +6, MehMeher +6, neonredkill +6, Black-lights +15, Ryo75 +20, bloopypoo +8, Sun985211 +3, cybeast93 +23, Bubblejum +6, Gh1 +7, qW1eR2tY3 +10, PinguPrin +7, Roger28 +6, and 6 more...

Hmm, seems like an error there. Why is he saying that she should lick his asshole?

Or did I miss something?

Nice translation otherwise!

Base +6, anonymousMember +6

RAW: https://e-hentai.org/g/2535680/506f432f22/

Base +10, bloopypoo -8

Heh.... love it, "you can't just feel up a young girl's ass like this... for free." :D

Awesome, much thanks to all involved for all the effort and sharing, nice work :)

Base +54, bloopypoo +8, RandomDudeH +6, BS™ +5

Nothing to see here everyone, just a dumb succubus being shown human POWER once again, move along.

Base +6, BS™ +5, HoroG -7

@bootkrat15 It's correct. Look at his hands on her legs. He has his ass in her face.

Base +6, bloopypoo +8, BS™ +5