[Dokuneko Noil] Deisui Shita Yae Miko ni Warui Koto o Suru Hanashi | The Story of the Bad Things I Did To A Drunk Yae Miko (Genshin Impact) [English] [ヒメリヒメリ]
Pretty solid, even if there's one or two unnatural looking sentences. "You only have this small change of Mora?" could probably be changed to something like "You only have this much Mora?"
Still I'd put it miles ahead of the other translation, especially with your SFX work.
Base +18, Undesirable_Pizza -4, LordBarn +8, yakumo zero +6