https://www.deviantart.com/jake--jaccobus/gallery/84998728/rehearsal

Is this connected to "Industrial Becca"? On the one hand, this is clearly the middle of a story and the main character is clearly the same. On the other hand, there's basically no connection between the two stories other than Becca's design.

Anyway, on to the important bit:
Whoever's translating from whatever Eurospeak this "Jake Jaccobus" guy uses is getting worse and worse.
P1: "not impregnate people I know" --> "don't impregnate people I know" or "no impregnating people I know"
P3: "this legging" --> "these leggings".
P4: "confortable" --> "comfortable". "A little scared" --> "A little scary". "It' been" --> "It's been".
P5: "you still" --> "you're still". "I wait" --> "I'll wait". "leggins" --> "leggings". "each other you know" --> "each other, you know"
P6: "save lifes" --> "saves lives". "would be great" --> "that would be great".
P7: "come later" --> "come by later" (unless you're trying for innuendo). "leggins" --> "leggings"
P8: "lifter body" --> "lighter body". I think?
P9: "front bag" --> "front pocket" or "front pouch". "and from behind" is definitely wrong as well, but I have no idea what is intended.
P12: "sap you are" --> "sap are you"
P16: "Alderon" --> "Alderaan". "Whatever that creep's looking" --> "wherever that creep's looking" or "whatever that creep's looking at"

Last edited on 30 July 2023, 13:49.

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