https://www.patreon.com/Kwaiiarts
https://kwaiiarts.fanbox.cc/
https://subscribestar.adult/kwaiiarts

02: for this moment for a long time => (one time reference too many) / this moment for a long time
02: A pretty virgin => (adjective rather?) / Pretty virgin,
02: Dont => Don't
07: just look you're getting => just look, you're getting / just look at you getting
08: you didn't even in your dreams think it would be like this => (wrong place for clause) / you didn't think it would be like this, even in your dreams
08: Feel => (incoherent imperative) / It feels
09: thousands beasts => a thousand beasts / thousands of beasts
10: fits perfectly [...] fits perfectly => (redundant)
Also use more punctuation, most notably commas.

Base +8, Imperator202 +6, Skiewolve +7

每次看到这个角色我都会以为是成龙历险记里的小玉

Base +6, PdmL +3