Didn't expect to see a Negima doujinshi after all these years. Oh god, the typography. There are standard fonts to use for that, so you should consider using them.

Base +6, Quflow +7, animelord1 +8

A Negima doujin getting translated? In this economy???

...hey I'm not complaining, I'd love to see more, although maybe change up the font a *little* bit

Base +6, Cal_Klac +6

Damn this is awesome.

Base +6

05: Until now... I'm being swept away
- incoherent: "until" implies an action or state past up to a point in time, while present continuous implies an ongoing action or state
06: sensei's's
- too many possessives => sensei's
14: cleaning needed
15: reacing => reaching

Base +8