This is a MTL. It's my first time trying to translate, I don't know Japanese and English is not my native language so the translations may not be accurate.

cool translation bro https://youtu.be/C2L1tjJF9h4

Base +11, AnonymousStranger13 +6, Espurr Beats Kids +6, Orion9137 +11, Runs_On_whole_grain -3, Undesirable_Pizza -4, dt1248 +6, Jagyr +6, Jewdough +6, aimu23 -6, Gambayalla +6, Michelles -7, Darknessend +7, and 1 more...

ESL AND MTL??? Brother, with all due respect, make this translation your last

Base +6, Runs_On_whole_grain -3, MaouMaou +10, dt1248 +6, Mastemo +8, Shurikensei +10, watdis +6, Kavall +8, Jewdough +6, aimu23 +6, RandomDudeH +6, sony6916 +7, JosecHarmony +5, and 13 more...

Degenerate like you belong on a cross

Base +6, sony6916 +7, Gambayalla +6, vsgunner17 -10, Lawnbringer -5

I don't have a problem with it, sounds normal enough for a doujin to me, dood.

Base +6, Chunga -19, Nahkaparturi -6, Gambayalla -6, Aristoplato -9, Sevipervert -6, lord-max -13

Honestly, as much as I get the instinctive reactions to MTL and ESL, this is mostly fine. Your typesetting could improve in some places (mainly p8 top right and p10 top right), so I'd recommend going to the Cove of Scanlators section on the e-hentai forums to find some tutorials on how to do that. The only obvious issues with the translation are a few minor cases like "overtime", which would be caught if you asked someone to look over your script on the forums. Do that, and if you don't mention the MTL/ESL thing, 99% of the people here would never know.

The last thing worth mentioning is that it may sound a little awkward here and there because of a stupid English quirk where most context descriptions (any text in the rectangles) default to past tense, even if they were meant to be present tense in the original language.

Base +18, ezbreezy +6, Gattai +6, Snariaz +6, joget7 +16, tsuyoi_baka35 +6