I'm really liking this one so far, hopefully there's a lot more chapters.

Base +6, Fofotron -20, the dru one +7, diebuster +7

Grammar corrections:

p. 1: Add in a question mark after "Can you not continue anymore".

p. 2: "The information your subordinate prepared is all wrong" shouldn't be a question so question mark has to be replaced with a period.

p. 3:

a. Mikako's "Who" in the top right of this page should should have it's W capitalized.

b. The "I" in "Am i too tired" in the panel below should be capitalized.

p. 9:

a. The "Do they work here" asked internally by Mikako should end with a question mark.

b. There should be a periods after "This store is for women only", "An S&M club", "To lead you to pleasure" respectively.

c. I don't really know Japanese but I suggest the leftmost line in the middle panel ought to be "You'll have difficulty making an appointment with this one as your mistress".

p. 10: Place a period after the "I won't let you escape".

p. 11:

a. Place periods after "It's about to drip", "It's almost like hot water", and "Bad kids must be punished" respectively.

b. Replace the question mark in "So it won't burn" with a period.

c. Add two more periods after "But, but".

p. 13:

a. Rewrite "there there" as "There, there" and put in three periods after that.

b. Add a period after "Kiss" and "The coordination is very important" respectively.

c. Add in a comma after "But if you really hate it".

p. 14:

a. Add in a period after "Be a good girl".

b. Add three periods after "So".

p. 15:

a. Capitalize the "I" in "Yes, i will".

b. Fix "Thank you come again" into "Thank you, come again" and add a period afterward.

c. Add a period after "Just like I that, I entered into the world of S&M" and "I'm starting a new life" respectively.

p. 16:

a. Add a period after "I'm back".

b. Fix "Right now If only someone would hold me gently and praise me" into "Right now, If only someone would hold me gently and praise me" and add a period at the end.

p. 17:

a. Add a second comma after "Next time, if you can hold out longer".

b. The "queens" in "Come here again and be pampered by our queens" should be below "be pampered" so that you can insert a period after "queens".

c. Capitalize the "I" in "i will pick one that is completely different from Ms. Rhiannon" and "A" in "ah" respectively.

p. 18:

a. Add periods after "Those cold eyes are so beautiful", "I guess i'll go with the 'Cat & M' package", "Last time I tried using candles and ropes", "It's going to drip", and "I don't quite understand it yet" respectively.

b. Capitalize the second "I" in "I guess i'll go with the 'Cat & M' package".

c. Add a comma between "time" and "I" in "Last time I tried using candles and ropes".

p. 19: Add in commas after "But" and "Miss Minako".

p. 20:

a. Add a period after "Miss Reika's room is this way... at the end of the corridor".

b. Replace the period in "It was a little tense" with a comma.

p. 21:

a. Add a dash after "Miss Minako".

b. Add a period after "Welcome".

c. Place the "now" in "Alright then, let's get ready now" below "ready" and add a period.

p. 22: The "an" in "I came here on an impulse" can be omitted and a period should be placed after "impulse".

p. 23: Place a comma after the "um" in "Oh um".

p. 24:

a. Place commas after "Last time I was here", "I had a great time", and "I see" respectively.

b. I suggest making "You're interested in S&M" as a question.

c. Put periods after "I'm glad" and "It would be embarrassing to be naked all of a sudden".

p. 25:

a. Move the "beautiful" in "You're beautiful" slightly leftward to make space for a period.

b. Move the period in "It's my first time being touched like this" after "this".

c. Capitalize the "Ah" in "ah".

p. 26:

a. Place a period after "I'm being touched by Miss Reika".

b. Capitalize the "B" in "but... I won't be able to move like this".

p. 27: Add a period after "I'm here to decorate you".

p. 28: Place a comma after "Because of the shame".

p. 29: Place periods after "So delicious" and "It's amazing that you didn't drop the fruit".

p. 30:

a. Place periods after "Let me enjoy your taste till you're satisfied" and "So much honey flows here".

b. Replace the "till in "Let me enjoy your taste till you're satisfied" with "until".

p. 31: Place a period after "Please face up to your desires".

p. 33:

a. Capitalize the "A" in the first three "ahs".

b. Place a comma after the fourth "Ah".

p. 34: Place periods after "You're so beautiful" and "I was in a daze".

p. 35:

a. Place a period after "Actually, I did a play for the first time today".

b. Add the "&" between the "S" and "M" in "I thought SM would be mostly painful and scary".

c. Make the "That's it" a question.

d. Place a comma after the second "But".

p. 36:

a. Place a comma after "Although I'm a little scared" and "Then".

b. Place the "S&M" in "I want to know more about the world of S&M" below "world of", then place a period after that.

c. Place an exclamation point after "Give me a break".

This was all I could suggest to the best of my ability.

Base +7, CocoaRobbins +6, graphitegirl +6, ik9 +6, reloadere +8, IdTapThat +6, phenomrain +6, mnkyslut +11, funk_u_up +13

The story of an exhausted woman being beaten by a lustful woman (Translated by Stolenkaos)

Ch. #1 Leona レオナ
ENG
https://e-hentai.org/g/3067314/5adcde0d28/
https://booth.pm/ja/items/3750276
Chinese https://e-hentai.org/g/1904149/85299ac7dc/

Ch. #2 Reika
ENG
https://e-hentai.org/s/cd5eda0611/3067314-16
https://sm-carmilla.booth.pm/items/3750363
Chinese https://e-hentai.org/g/2262246/515bd9e362/

Ch. #3 Noel ノエル
ENG
https://e-hentai.org/g/3053501/fc8348e173/
https://sm-carmilla.booth.pm/items/3909257
Chinese https://e-hentai.org/g/2275624/d53e3c240e/

Ch. #4 Jun 潤
ENG
https://e-hentai.org/g/3071413/ea076c0db7/
https://sm-carmilla.booth.pm/items/4293368
Chinese https://e-hentai.org/g/2397041/628456c3b0/

Ch. #5 MONA
ENG
https://e-hentai.org/g/3080305/8d47f10f6c/
https://sm-carmilla.booth.pm/items/4691283
Chinese https://e-hentai.org/g/2623933/8bac986345/

Ex (from SM百合アンソロジー by 青華団)
https://e-hentai.org/g/3193987/1f95228af2/
Chinese https://e-hentai.org/g/3193475/c88213491a/

Last edited on 14 January 2025, 14:34.

Base +30, 璐溪凝 +3