fixed the empty bubble in page 29.

Some really hot money shots here, would love to see it decensored.

Base +15

It feels lacking.

Base +6, Maeriden +8, TenguSan +6, painly +6, dinojebus -6

in the sequel its the same, author could introduce the sister but nope

Base +6

"Mum! i want a original character!"

"We have original character at home"

-At home- "Yukinoshita Older Sister Lookalike"

Base +9, watdis -6, Iskusnik +6, Akrioz +6, wapfel +6, rarog +6

this was very nice, it seems it needs a sequel, but i can see this being a multiple chapter series easily

Base +12, rorikkon +6

The sudden sex felt jarring instead of exciting to me, I didn't really feel a connection between them.

Base +6, Alpha-Q +6

@Aeonir maybe it required 3 or 4 more pages of context? at least they made sure to portray they were living together for some time and the man did have some desire for her

Base +12, rorikkon +6

Raws are from this: https://e-hentai.org/g/3279965/a6627b67bf/

There's 2 chapters in this collection are related to these characters. This is the first.

Base +6, rorikkon +6

PG 29 there is an empty bubble on top left

Chapter 2 was great as well, i hope there is more in the future, but it seems like this is the end tho
the translation of the second chapters sounds odd in some places, not gonna lie, like some phases and sentences don't seem to match or sound great, maybe a proofreader could help, i'm not good explaining it

Base +12

I was wondering why this was so hot, then realized I fapped to this artist before, lol.

Base +9

Kind of bizarre, she talks about using protection but Uncle doesn't ever seem to put on a condom? Is it just implied they have protected sex off camera and we're seeing the times he convinces her to let him bust raw?

Base +6

@44inf @Aeonir (And anyone else who feels like it was lacking and/or the sex too sudden.)

I feel the same way, but I believe a lot of this comes down to translation issues. The Japanese version flows better and just feels like a better story. I’m not gonna do the full write-up (oops I accidentally did anyway), but let’s look at a few examples, all from page 11. (I chose that page because 11 is particularly bad AND marks a significant turning point.) I think it should explain a lot, though I still felt the sudden sex was a flaw in the raw version too.

Let’s begin with the first sentence on page 11. Here’s the translated version: “A month since then, we've hung out at pet shops or a zoo a couple more times.” Okay, the phrasing’s a bit awkward, which already makes it feel ‘off’. (This happens throughout the entire translation.) However, in this case, it’s also quite different from the original Japanese. The sentence originally said “ それから月1 くらいで二人で ペットショーや 動物園に行く 機会ができた”, which very roughly means, “About once a month, the two of us took the chance to go to pet shows and zoos and stuff together.” Okay, now THAT has quite a different meaning. The problem with the translation is it compresses all of this to happening in a single month, when they were actually taking many months to grow closer. Plus, it suggests they’ve only done a couple of trips, one to a zoo and one to a pet shop. In Japanese, the や connecting the places they’ve gone suggest that these are just a couple examples out of a larger list. They’ve been busy. The ‘pet shop’ and ‘pet show’ mixup isn’t a big deal (and I also misread it that way on my first read through), but does suggest a slightly larger investment of time. (You’re usually at pet shows longer than at pet shops.) There are a few small points too, but you get the idea. (Tangent: The main one I’ve skipped is how 二人で makes it clear that these are trips with just the two of them. In my rough translation, I went with ‘the two of us’, but ‘we’ might be a better option. I feel like 二人で is more natural, while ‘the two of us’ overemphasizes that it’s just them.)

Okay, second sentence on page 11: “We've gotten closer to the point that she shows me some of the male and female animal videos at the dining table.” …Uh, ok? This one’s weird. Male and female animal videos? And they’re ‘the’ male and female videos? As in, specific ones that have come up before? He’s saying it like it’s perfectly normal and expected, so when we read it, we end up feeling like something’s ‘off’ that’s missing. Not to mention the way it’s phrased just sounds strange. What’s actually going on?

As usual, going to the Japanese version clears most things up. Here’s what it says in that same bubble: “ ダイニングでも 動物動画の オススメを 紹介し合える くらいの 仲にはなった”. This roughly translates to, “We’ve become closer, to the point that we’re sharing our favorite animal videos at the dining table.” Okay, there’s nothing about males or females in there, nothing about ‘the’ animal videos. It’s more about how they’re watching and enjoying animal videos together. Okay, makes way more sense. It’s still a little weird that they’re emphasizing the dining table though, but that’s simply Inanaki Shiki making a few things clear with his art and dialogue. (Specifically, three things. 1. Yuu now views the dining room as shared space, not like the previous time when she felt super awkward when he came home while she was watching videos at that same table.. 2. Yuu’s spending EXTRA free time with her uncle, not just the time in transit when they’re going to animal shows and such. 3. A bit of setting things up for the later sex scene, which also happens in the dining room.)

Finally, the rest of the dialogue on page 11. Here, the dialogue is faithfully translated, but there’s still a problem: the previous translation errors made everything feel so ‘off’, this scene where Yuu really is acting strangely no longer stands out! In the Japanese version, the dialogue and the rain-soaked Yuu, whose face we don’t get to see, is suppose to make us realize that something’s wrong. Yuu’s acting strange and seems more distant, and immediately leaves instead of spending time with her uncle. It’s a sudden change, and her uncle picks up on it. Yet when he takes on the role of caring ojisan (the role Yuu assigned to him back on the very 1st page) with that remark about her studies, Yuu feels even more distant. (Later we find out more about how scary the situation with her senpai was, but that’s in the next few pages.) Overall, it gives readers a reason why Yuu’s feelings have changed, and why she decides to seduce her uncle in the next few pages. It’s an important turning point. And it also explains why she moved so aggressively to seduce her uncle that very evening. (Still feel like it was too sudden though.)

In this translation, we miss out on most of that. The things that happened right before this were so weird, we never realized how their relationship had changed. We lose out on the subtleties in their dialogue because we were never able to pick up on them originally. Translation errors drowned out the quiet parts. We can still pick up on bits and pieces, especially through the art, but we completely miss out on experiencing the emotional shift that occurred here. It mutes the impact. And that’s something really sad.

All of this happens throughout both chapters. The dialogue frequently sounds unnatural, whole sentence which are nonsensical, and we never really get to see how they grow closer. The 2nd part is a bit better, but I think it’s more because there’s hardly any plot or character development. (There are still bizarre lines though, like “Talk about your pre-cum, uncle… That’s bad.”)

It kills me to say this because I can tell the translator cares and put effort into this one, but… this is definitely a rough translation.

@KlienMacleod

No condoms. Some of this is due to mistranslations. In the first chapter, she has a momentary freak-out when she realizes they’re not using a condom. After that, when he’s talking about buying condoms instead of beer, he’s actually talking about buying a morning after pill for her regardless of cost. (I think there was a mix-up between ピール and ビール, which do look pretty similar.) In the second chapter, when she says she’d be pregnant without a condom, she’s referring to contraceptives in general, not condoms. This also makes him cum, not declare ‘time out!’

Base +18, Refyrsen +13, VelvetDream +7