Hello this is my first time translating and cleaning/redrawing
I'm learning Japanese and using these to practice, especially the Kanji
I'm searching it up if i saw new kanji and translating them within the context
Since English is not my first language too
Any feedback is appreciated
Thank you very much

Japanese/Raw: https://e-hentai.org/g/3215317/0069a430ab/

Support the Artist:
https://x.com/mutoukoutya610
https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/29033553

No major errors from what I can see with a quick read through. That being said I question translating from a language you are learning into a language that is not your native language.

Base +6, Ahryman +6, watdis +6, sigo8 +34

page 3 torn should be tear

Base +8, Hiddenporpoise +8

On the second page "Through an unexpected circumstances" should be "Through unexpected circumstances" with no comma.

Base +6

Poor Stockings , your sacrifice will be remembered and honored!

Base +17

@red death68
i call it 2 birds with 1 stone, since i can speak/write English pretty well online with friends but the problem lies with the grammar and wording, since my friends doesn't really care about those, it's hard for me to improve on it

And thanks for the other feedback

Base +6