Okay, I have a lot of thoughts on this and this is going to be a little long of a review from me. So apologies in advance for that.
But anyway, I generally like Lemonfont's work; not strictly in terms of actual erotic content, but for story as well. Anyone that's read his previous works knows that he could easily make a compelling story out of a strange or barebones concept. I bring this up because it makes how this story is executed all the more baffling.
This is is initially set up as a very intimate rp session, and I do like this framing. It's a clever way to have a lot of dialogue with minimal panels. But as soon as "Mike" shows up it starts to fall apart. It makes me question what's "Guests" role here is. Is he meant to be a character is his own right, or a self-insert vessel for the reader? Because the former implies a bit more pushback from the antics going on here instead of just going along with everything, and the latter has too many degrees of separation to properly insert into. Like, the reader isn't just pretending to be the guy roleplaying as Dawn's fuckbuddy, they're pretending to be the guy roleplaying as the fuckbuddy pretending to be the guy who's ACTUALLY getting fucked. It gets a little silly. Regardless, the point is that "Guests" dialogue very quickly fades into the background and becomes an echo of Dawn's up until the final page, which undermines the story's very framework.
By the time Dawn's dick shows up the plot is totally lost. I get it, she wants to dominate Mike, but when you have a shapeshifter in your work it behooves you to least be a bit more clever about how that's handled. Like, why not have her enlarge her clit to a cartoonish degree and have her go to town on him with that? Similar effect, but far more freaky and unconventional, while not coming across nearly as shoehorned in as just giving her a dick and balls out of nowhere.
TL;DR: This ain't it, fam. Good idea, shockingly sloppy execution.
I will be the one to say that this is for me. Right up my alley. The proxy fucking is interesting but I would also love to see what happens in a part 2 where they do meet like Faye and Mike. One of my favorite things from Lemon for a long while. Maybe even doing a Pt.2 with more of a Capturetheflag sort of bodymorphing.