Art is good and story is passable. It really could've used a complete draft phase before publishing pages. The first dozen pages muddle the characterization, as reactions and dialogue vary wildly or against their established personality. It has paper thin character complexity via internal thought, that is trying to juxtapose the interpersonal action and speech that defines their archetype. Meanwhile events push forward with a figment of motivation.
The jump between pages 27 & 28 are a good example, where there is an abrupt time & clothing change within the same location and presumably the same conversation. I could understand that the artist may have intended to convey this story as an arc from morning to evening of a single day, with attention to lighting & shadows established as a throughline during coloring. However, the execution feels like an extra or extended story was tacked onto the gallery rather than planned. Which, is faaaaarrr more acceptable if it was conveyed.
Last edited on 21 August 2026, 21:18.
Base +9, masterreviewer1000 +29, Mr. Xecret +7, fernendoff +8, nico2927 -6, Somethingsomething33 +5, Torcoolguy +7, Draconis122 +6, killlop +6