Translated and edited by myself.

Leave comments, feedback and grab via DDL at http://wp.me/p3Iacc-gN

Good effort :)

Base +8, Qwerty Bam +1, GuroLover12 +6

This is not a very good translation. I'd advise getting a proofreader and/or QC. There's just too many awkward phrases that could have been improved with a minimum of effort on your behalf.

That said, I appreciate the attempt. Just please try to improve before you join the ranks of CGrascal and Goatse.

Base +6, rapeshit +7, Qwerty Bam +1, GuroLover12 +6, Nayabel +9, wavedash -7, Marinaway +7, urawa +6, Azura Meta +5, Clying Funt +7, Elementxj +5, Elbowsmash +6, ToastedSkyttles -5, and 3 more...

Art is lacking in my opinion. Her breasts are rather modest, but on page 16 they are large,then go back to being small on 19. and the close up shots, the eyes and mouth look weird. I love mind control stuff, but this one kinda left me out of it.

Base +6, seabassd +5, bushwhacker2k +6

Are there pages missing? A lot of the time, the transitions seem jarring, like there's some material in the middle we don't have. In particular... how did we get from page 10 to page 11?

Base +8, Azura Meta +5, Xhion Pime +4, m42a +16

Gah, the fucking eyes. From 16 on she just stares at you, and then when she's "unconscious" it looks like he fucking strangled her. And yeah, the dialogue was pretty bad... I was liking how she looked until the fucking eyes. Nice effort though, thanks!

Base +2

textless and japanese version here: https://e-hentai.org/g/664556/c9c148bae7/
But (referring to darienkd comment) there are indeed no more pages available to explain how we goes from some situations to another.
The issue come from the author, not the translator (unless it was incomplete preview material from the start?)

Base +22

Good job, great translation, hopefully you can translate other works by this artist

Base +8