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(SC64) [Alemateorema (Kobayashi Youkoh)] GARIGARI 62 (Kantai Collection -KanColle-) [English] {CGrascal}

(サンクリ64) [アレマテオレマ (小林由高)] GARIGARI62 (艦隊これくしょん -艦これ-) [英訳]

Doujinshi
Posted:2015-01-08 06:24
Parent:None
Visible:Yes
Language:English  TR
File Size:19.32 MiB
Length:12 pages
Favorited:306 times
Rating:
122
Average: 4.46

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Posted on 08 January 2015, 08:37 by:   Elsheen    PM
Score +13
Oooooooh yisssss....
Posted on 08 January 2015, 13:16 by:   aurumauriga    PM
Score +238
Just like last time none of CGrascal's recent stuff really appealed to me. Unfortunately it seems my break from his stuff still wasn't enough time for him to improve. Or is he doing it deliberately? Whatever.

Technical:
p3: “I know you haven’t had sex with Kaga right now.” - See next item
p3: “I know that you’ve always been masturbating now.” - The two instances of “now” are inconsistent with the tenses and contexts of the sentences. “Lately” would be more appropriate. "I know you haven't had sex with Kaga lately." "I know that you've always been masturbating lately."
p4: “Lately, there were no time to take a break.” - Inconsistent tense. “Lately, there has been no time to take a break.”
p4: “You haven’t had time to play with your dick?” - Declarative sentence.
p4: “A man has to let it out, or their sperm gathers up?” - Declarative sentence.
p5: “If I’m twitching here, then my anus will twitch too.” - Inconsistent tenses. “If I’m twitching here then my anus is twitching, too.”
p6: “Your harden blood vessels dick” - This is so incorrect I don’t even know how to fix it. I can at least point out that the tense of “harden” is incorrect.
p7: “Releasing your sperm in your toilet isn’t wrong at all?” - Declarative sentence.
p10: “I’m cumming, Amatsukaze?” - Declarative sentence. The guy isn’t even sure if he’s about to blow.
p10: “My g-spot will be dugged out!” - “Dug” is already in the past tense, lol.
p10: “My cum is coming right about now!?” - Declarative sentence. He still isn’t sure.
p11: “I’m cumming! I’ll cum!” - Badly inconsistent tenses. Have you cum already or are you just about to? Make up your mind.

Awkward:
p6: “I’m only doing this to handle your sexual urges.” - “Handle” seems lacking, if not inappropriate. “Satisfy” works better.
p10: “Pounding my pussy is making me cum!” - Awkward because it is unclear who is doing the pounding. It’s obviously the Admiral, but the way the statement is worded makes it appear as if Amatsukaze is masturbating.

Comment regarding the doujin itself:
The Admiral's declaration that he's going to release all the semen he's saved up (p8) completely contradicts the fact that he's been masturbating lately. Lol.

... Of course, this is assuming CGrascal's translation is correct.

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