Translation

pg.1

Alright, guys
Today, let's decide who's the most popular guy here

...of couse, that guy is me!

After all, muscles are what make man a man!

(beef tendon)

Man, you are so wrong

As expected of a musclehead

The hell you said?

You think everyone likes meat?
Well, that's completely wrong

pg2

People only like muscles as a fetish!

(pounded fish cake/hanpen)

Many more people love soft and fluffy guys!
There are whole magazines dedicated to us!

Oh, I am laughing. If you really think that way, you should go check your eyes and nose, they're full of shit.

Huh?

Face over body! Face is everything!

Do you guys even take any care of your skin?!

(egg)

When you get older, you'll end up with a bunch of spots and wrinkles, and it'll be to late for you to do anything, but cry!
Now gaze your eyes upon my silky, egg-white skin!

Guys like you are only popular with Fujos!

Aren't you just an egg!? You're too feminine!

pg.3

...pha! Body shape and face are both irrelevant!

What!?

The important part is manhood!

(tube-shaped fish-paste cake/chikuwa)

Look at this mammoth!

...pheh! It might be big, but it's way too... soft.

Wha!?

Mine's smaller but rock hard!

(burdock tempura/ gobouten)

I bet you have implants in it!
Why would anyone make tempura with veggies anyway!

pg.4

You guys are such show-offs

The hell!?

None of that is important for the bottom

I don't have to stick myself in people's face!
My backdoor can beat you anytime!

(rice in tofu/mochikinchaku)

My hole is tight outside and hot and slippery inside!

You idiot! Your insides are too hot, burning hot!

When it comes to taste, I won't lose to you guys!

Pure guys like me have always been popular!

Nobody jerks off to guys like you anymore!

That's just an urban legend, a myth!*

(konjac)
*apparently people used to masturbate with konjac

pg.5

Man, these youngsters

(deep-fried tofu/ganmo)

So full of pretence(there's also a pun on how they're full of dashi/soup stock and I have no idea how to translate it to keep the pun in)

(daikon)

What was that!?

Shut up, you old farts!

Good evening!

Oh, come in, come in!

Oh!
We have a customer.

Alright

Let's to this

Whoever gets picked first is the most popular!

OK

Fine with me!

pg.6

I'll take hote sake/atsukan and... maybe oden

Wait, what...
That just won't do.

I'm sorry, but we're out of mustard/karashi...

What, no mustard?

Hmm, guess no oden for me then

We... we lost to mustard...

To a side character...

Unexpected result

Omg Please TRANSLATE. Tagame's works are so good

Base +4