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[Ikuhana Niro] Rakka Ryuusui | Falling Together in Love (COMIC Anthurium 2017-05) [English] [slimppy & Constipat8] [Digital]

[幾花にいろ] 落下流水 (COMIC アンスリウム 2017年5月号) [英訳] [DL版]

Manga
Posted:2017-09-24 01:12
Parent:1118227
Visible:Yes
Language:English  TR
File Size:26.38 MiB
Length:20 pages
Favorited:2471 times
Rating:
516
Average: 4.49

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Posted on 24 September 2017, 01:12 by:   slimppy    PM
Uploader Comment
Translation: Slimppy
Edited/Typeset: Constipat8
QC: Constipat8 & Slimppy

The couple in the beginning are from https://e-hentai.org/g/1066756/b0bbcbbd41/

Hows it going everyone. Tell me how your day was.

Feel free to leave any comments or suggestions if you're interested in this idea.

EDIT: Special thanks to users Hinagiku Katsura and cabbages for the fixes!
I made many mistakes in my original attempt on translating this. Make sure to thanks these guys for the help!
Also shoutout to Constpat8 for putting in overtime to fix my mistakes!
Posted on 21 September 2017, 01:12 by:   Muddybug    PM
Score +619
Sweet little story, maybe too realistic for some?
Posted on 21 September 2017, 01:29 by:   Wilfriback    PM
Score +469
Those dialogues hit a bit too close home.
Posted on 21 September 2017, 02:04 by:   Hakrei    PM
Score +123
Nice story overall
Ikuhana Niro is quickly becoming one of my favorite artists...
Posted on 21 September 2017, 02:41 by:   duncanduncs    PM
Score +82
Ayyy the characters at the first page. Nice.
Posted on 21 September 2017, 03:26 by:   Und3adgam3r    PM
Score +60
I like his Beatles shirts.
Let It Be on pages 9-10 and Help on the last one.
Posted on 21 September 2017, 03:31 by:   Vanilla Cream    PM
Score +88
The characters referenced on the first page are from a previous work of his: https://e-hentai.org/g/1066756/b0bbcbbd41/ (English version).
Ikuhana Niro hits the sweet spot again! Thanks for the work Slimppy & Constipat8. And my day has been fine so far; thanks for asking.

I think the strawpoll idea would be fine if done on occasion, but not in a regular schedule. I'd prefer it if you guys pick your own projects (for the sake of your own morale).
Also would you guys eventually cover the other works that didn't win by featuring them on future strawpoll, or would you guys end up excluding them?

Edit:
@Slimppy Thanks for the clarification. Now with information you've just given me, I think it would work out all right.
Ignore my previous comment about you guys picking your own project, I wasn't thinking clearly and forgot to factor in that you guys actually handpicked these 3-5 stories because you wanted to do them.
Last edited on 21 September 2017, 03:59.
Posted on 21 September 2017, 03:38 by:   HorridGuest    PM
Score +178
I think the only thing that bothers me is the lack of any condoms. Felt so strange that there weren't any with the tone of the work.
Posted on 21 September 2017, 03:49 by:   slimppy    PM
Score +15
The format I thinking of using would be we put up 4 different works.
1st place gets translated
2nd and 3rd get featured in next poll
4th gets scraped/put aside.
Posted on 21 September 2017, 05:32 by:   cabbages    PM
Score +402
# Page 1
"A young couple with potential love in their eyes."
バカップルなんか目じゃないくらい、イチャラブしちゃえ
Along the lines of "Fall into a love hot enough to put this stupid couple to shame."

"Uhh I..."
ありあたした
"Thank you!" (ありがとうございました)

"I need to be confident while flirting with her"
イチャイチャと見せつけやがって
He's not hyping himself up, he's complaining that "That couple is showing off way too much"

# Page 2
"I can see who wears the pants in that relationship."
あのカップル、このあとヤリまくるんだろうな
"I bet that couple's gonna do it a ton right after this."

"I need to come off strong or she will walk all over me."
こっちはそんな相手もいねーっつー
"I don't have anyone like that... " (The っつー just adds emphasis here, you could add a "damn" or something)

"Uhhh"
うそーっ
"No wayyyy!"

"Oops! No thank you. Maybe tomorrow."
いや、ないっす… あ、あと
"No, I don't... Oh, also" (the "oh, also" leads into him asking for the cigs, you might want to rearrange the typesetting to reflect that)

# Page 3
"I bet you're really popular now huh?"
ってかなに、今のでっかいため息
"By the way, what was up with that huge sigh just now" (from last page)

"Not really... I've been looking to hang out with someone pretty like you."
べつに…オレもあんな美人とセ…
"Not much... I just wish a pretty girl like that would have se...." (he's not talking about her, he's talking about the girl in the couple from page 1)

"To think that..."
いすもの仲間のノリで、しかも沖島さんにあんなこと言っ
"I got carried away talking like we were old friends and said something like that to Okishima-san..." (ehh, you could also interpret as like "I got carried away like I was talking with my [guy] friends")

"I had to work at the register longer than I thought."
やーレジあわなくて遅くなった
"Sorry I'm late, the register came up short" (I inserted the "sorry" to make it fit more natural English speech)

# Page 4
"Ah, did you want a cigarette?" "I don't smoke but I'll try one"
あ、タバコごめん。 ううん?いーよ、てか一本ちょーだい
"Ah, sorry for smoking." "Nah, it's fine. Actually, let me have one." (I mean, she clearly doesn't smoke, but there's no reason to change this dialogue)

"Ya, well... Make sure you inhale when it's lit." "It's lit!"
や、あの、吸わないと点かないから
"No, look, you have to inhale to light it." "Ohhh!" (Yes, taking a puff or two helps light it)

"I don't really have much in my name now"
このへん残ってるコ少ないんだよねー
"There aren't many people left around." (コ=子 here)

"I also don't get much time off working at the convenience store."
コンビニバイトなんかはじめてから余計時間もあわないし
"And since I started working at the convenience store, our schedules don't match up." ("our" being the few friends still living around here)

"They don't treat me very well though..."
ロクでもない奴らだけど
"They're a bunch of shitheads though." (He's kinda just taking the piss, it's not like "wahh they bully me" or like they're actually bad people)

"Eh, okay"
えーいいなー
"Aww, that's nice" (she's expressing that she wishes she had friends like that to hang out with)

"Are you worried? Chin up!" "You're not surprised?"
そうなん?イガイー! 意外でもないけど!?
"Really? How surprising!" "You sure don't seem surprised!"

"I also do not have a boyfriend."
私のいまいないんだ
"I don't have a boyfriend right now either." (the "now" is important, see below)

"Now what..."
いま ね…
"'Right now', huh..."

"Sometimes we get some young people too."
このへん若い子少ないよね
"There really aren't many young people around here."

# Page 6
"I did not... Why are you bringing this up Okishima-san?!"
じゃなくて、沖島さんってそんな下ネタ言うんだ…
"That's not my point... I didn't expect you to say something so crude..."

Thanks @Hinagiku Katsura, I have a problem with misreading similar kanji.

I don't feel like going through the rest of the pages, but yeah, hope that helps some.
Last edited on 23 September 2017, 19:16.
Posted on 21 September 2017, 06:08 by:   slimppy    PM
Score +19
Thanks @cabbages for the pointers. I will admit my translations are not perfect but I will keep trying to improve.

Edit: @Hinagiku Katsura Ya sometimes I overthink some sentences that don't make sense right off the bat. That I think is my biggest flaw (that and I can't read Japanese =p). But after every translation I feel I am getting better, at least compared to my previous translations.
Last edited on 21 September 2017, 06:48.
Posted on 21 September 2017, 06:12 by:   rozzak    PM
Score +106
this manga is the visual embodiment of ">tfw no gf"
Posted on 21 September 2017, 06:13 by:   Hinagiku Katsura    PM
Score +314
What @cabbages said. I read the first page and wondered why the dialogue makes zero sense.

@slimppy, are you sure you know how to translate? I mean, if you're not sure about the translations, you should at least indicate that in the description.

------------------------
If you're unsure about a line, just pop it into Google Translate. You'll get the general idea.

For example:

こっちはそんな相手もいねーっつー

Google Translates to:
"There is no such opponent here."

Which is a lot closer to the actual meaning:
"I don't have anyone like that." or "I don't have such a partner."

Which is very far from what you came up with:
"I need to come off strong or she will walk all over me."

------------------------
Also, continuing what @cabbages wrote.

#Page 6####################################

Summary: The guy's surprised because she's very open with the topic of sex. Since to him, she's usually a timid/good natured looking girl.

その…勝手にそーゆーの苦手かなと思ってたから、女の子だし…
Guy: "Umm... I thought you're a girl who isn't good with that kind of stuff..." (@cabbages, you wrote 若 instead of 苦. I think that's why you thought it has to do with the word "young". This actually has nothing to do with the previous line about "young people" from pg. 5. This matches up with the previous conversation about her being crude with the topic of sex.)

あーはは なるほどね
Girl: "Haha, I see."

イメージこわしちゃったか
Girl: "Did that break your image of me?" (Again, matches up with the previous conversation.)

#Page 8####################################

"I need to make sure everything is set up perfectly."
未知の空間過ぎておちつかん
"I can't calm down at a foreign place." (Or "I can't be at ease at an unknown place" but I think this one's too wordy.)

"I went a bit overboard there."
ちょっと舞い上がってた
"I got a little too excited."

"Hey, don't worry about it."
ちょっとじゃないっしょ
Girl: "Not just a little bit.

"My bad."
ないね
Guy: "Yeah, you're right." (The actual line means "no" or "not at all" which is used to agree with what she said "Not at all just a little bit". It's simpler to just have him agree with her with "Yeah, you're right.")

#Page 9####################################

"Of course, I do, did you think I was completely innocent?" (Completely opposite of what she said.)
べっつにそんな経験豊富なわけじやないよ?
"I'm not that experienced though."

"Really now!"
ほんとだって
"It's the truth!"

"Did you want to stay a virgin forever?"
処女に戻っちゃったかも?
Girl: "My virginity might have returned, you know?"

"No... I can't turn back now."
ふっ 戻らないだろ...
"Haha. It won't return."

#Page 10####################################

"Do you not like that?"
かんないよー?
"Who knows?"

"What if I told you my hymen is still there?"
そろそろ処女膜フッカツしてるかもしれないじゃん
"Maybe my hymen has already returned."

"Wait, your cherry isn't popped?"
処女膜フッカツすんの!?
"Do hymens return?"

"I didn't know you can just see it..."
オレが見てわかるかょ...
"I wouldn't know if I do see it."

"It's not that great huh?" (How did you come up with this line?)
もっと下わかる?
Girl: "Below that, get it?" (She's indicating the position where he should touch.)

#Page 20####################################
(Pretty much everything you translated on this page is wrong.)


"I'm"

"The way we're connected, we're compatible... no?
すっごい束縛するタイプだから...ね?
"The type who's really clingy, you know?"

"My previous boyfriend never showed as much love as you."
前ヵレも遠恋になったらスグだめんなっちゃったし
"My last relationship went long distance so that didn't work out."

"I was so lonely. I wanted someone to spend their time with me."
寂しがりだから私 四六時中いっしょにいれなきゃやだよ
"I get lonely really easily so I need to be with someone all the time." (The phrase 四六時中 means "all the time." But it directly translates to "four-six hours". So why does it mean "all the time"? Because 4 x 6 = 24 = 1 day. I just thought this is cool to share.)

"You don't have to hide from your friends anymore... if I'm by your side, right?"
それって友達と遊んじゃダメとか... 言うってこと?
Guy: "Do you not let your boyfriend hang out with his friends... or something like that?" (It's the guy who is talking, not the girl.)

"I don't know how they would react."
そこまでは言わないけど...
"Well, I wouldn't go that far..."

"But... I'm going to hang out with my girlfriend today..."
なんか...ついてくって聞かなくて...
"I didn't ask if I could bring her along..." (Probably one of the hardest lines to translate in this manga. Each phrase has multiple meanings making this like 4-5 different ways to interpret. It roughly, directly translates to "Followed me and I didn't ask" which is vague as hell. But it more or less has to do with his bringing a girl to a 'male friends gathering' kind of thing. That's why he apologized in the beginning.)

-----------------------
There are still more problems other than the ones I pointed out.
I think @slimppy you should translate this whole manga from scratch. The dialogue you have here miss the general idea of the original conversation about 50% of the time.
I also noticed a trend where you base your future conversations on your current incorrect translations. This leads to the dialogue steering further and further away from the original ideas.

------------------------
Raws: https://e-hentai.org/s/49ee359f36/1053217-63

Edit: @slimppy You feel you're getting better at translating compared to your previous translations? Your "My Garden" has problems too but it's ten times more accurate than this one. If you can't read Japanese... you probably should learn how...
Last edited on 21 September 2017, 09:49.
Posted on 21 September 2017, 08:06 by:   ef24tas    PM
Score +108
Sorry, but it is more like Rewrite, than a translation...
Posted on 21 September 2017, 18:58 by:   葛の寺    PM
Score +70
@Hinagiku Katsura
Please don't encourage the use of google translate for that, more than 70% of the times when google translates a sentence it goes way off track
@slimppy
I suggest that your Japanese should be at least at N4 level before you start translating something tho
If you are using this to pratice your Japanese then to tell you the truth translating ero manga or doujinshi isn't a good way to help you learn or review Japanese (normal manga would do), and it costs you much much much more time than normal studying would
Posted on 21 September 2017, 23:01 by:   VodkaAllDay    PM
Score +25
Thank you for the detailed feedback @cabbage and @Hinagiku Katsura.

There's isn't much I can do to improve the translation because my Japanese skills are non-existant, but as editor I'll try to fix everything above.

Cheers!

-Constipat8
Posted on 22 September 2017, 01:34 by:   DekomoriDesu    PM
Score -53
Chapter 2 - added fetish : netorare
Posted on 24 September 2017, 05:22 by:   Sourdough    PM
Score +39
Wow, you rarely see manga with an emphasis on pubic stubble.
Posted on 24 September 2017, 06:02 by:   hon.    PM
Score +49
"Anyone would have been fine"
Aw mang, don't bring PD on my 2D...
Posted on 29 September 2017, 17:21 by:   Lockeless    PM
Score +13
Is it just me or his University friends = Dacho Club
Posted on 01 October 2017, 15:04 by:   Forgunia    PM
Score +11
Last couple of pages gave me the impression that she settled for him instead of genuinely desiring him. It sounded like she had her fill of badboys, and now wants mr. nice guy to carry the burden.
Posted on 03 October 2017, 05:05 by:   Chojiin    PM
Score +120
Man, finally a work where the girl isn't a virginal princess, but also isn't a super slut. I really dug it.
Posted on 25 November 2017, 01:50 by:   whade    PM
Score +23
Realism is my fetish so this was perfect for me.
Posted on 04 September 2021, 04:02 by:   fogpet    PM
Score +7
Weird translation hitches aside, something about the writing and flow of the story give it a really realistic feel that porn always lacks.

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