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[LenioTG] You Won't Wait For Me Anymore

Misc
Posted:2017-10-15 14:30
Parent:None
Visible:Yes
Language:English  
File Size:5.89 MiB
Length:15 pages
Favorited:61 times
Rating:
80
Average: 2.16

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Posted on 15 October 2017, 14:30 by:   FasterFaster    PM
Uploader Comment
This is my very first comic! (I installed DAZ Studio 2 days ago). I hope that you'll like it!
Any suggestion and feedback is appreciated!

UPDATE: Wow, a lot of time has passed since then!! :D If you want to know about what I've done since there, here's my DeviantArt: https://www.deviantart.com/tgfan4
Posted on 15 October 2017, 16:56 by:   souske411    PM
Score +23
It might just be me but it seems like there is a bunch of dots on the character.
Posted on 15 October 2017, 17:00 by:   KamikazeShooter    PM
Score +22
Not bad. looking forward for your next masterpiece!!! And hope more gender bender top come, maybe with body swap or possession too!!! And of course more 'intimate/self discovery scene'!

Thanks @FasterFaster
Posted on 15 October 2017, 17:49 by:   TwiTwi    PM
Score +17
Not bad for a firstie. :)

As you asked for suggestions:
The two seem to be a very "unnatural" couple, given their body languages. In your following projects, you might want to be bolder, make people face each other when they talk, hug if they know each other well and interact with their environment instead of just standing there. You can also switch "camera" angles and zoom in and out, dare to show a character's backside and such.

I'm sure you will get there. Keep it up!
Posted on 15 October 2017, 20:03 by:   masterzelda123    PM
Score +6
I assume English is not your first language.
"bringed" >>> brought
Also, keep things consistent when writing. If you are going to punctuate then do so in all instances. Put periods at the end of sentences and ellipsis when a sentence trails off.
When using text bubbles, make sure the ordering is clearly positioned with and natural eye flow.
The MtF character still has man face and shoulders. The FtM still has female face.
Posted on 16 October 2017, 18:26 by:   FasterFaster    PM
Score +2
@souske411 You're right! I guess it's because I used an old asset. In the next story I'll use the newest, and I also hope to use a better render, that requires much more time.
@KamikazeShooter Thank you really much!! :D I hope that the next one will be better!
@TwiTwi Thanks! I'll follow your advices!
@masterzelda123 No, English is not my first language, I hope that this mistake doesn't bother you. The order of the text bubbles was a bit confusing, I admit it! I actually changed the faces, maybe I did it wrong!
Posted on 17 October 2017, 14:04 by:   weberknecht    PM
Score +7
For your first comic is is good. So take your time and you want to become a very good artist.
Für dein ersten comic war dass gut. Wenn du dir zeit nimmst wirst du ein richtig guter Künstler werden.

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