New commission.
I don't have much idea of the Granblue Fantasy saga, so I'm not sure if I get the names right. Sorry
Original: https://e-hentai.org/g/1478263/24d06a7f89/
Commissions for the translation of any type of CG or Manga: https://raknnkarscans.blogspot.com/

Overall:
- Lack of punctuation at the end of sentences.
- Pages are not levelled for some reason.
- Cleaning was, for some reason, cleaned with a grey colour, not white.
- Does a slight stroke around the text in bubbles. The contrast can be seen between it and the grey cleaning.
- No redrawing. Only borderless white boxes.
- Used only 2 fonts with no italics or bold effects: CC Wild Words and Mouthbreather BB

Page 3:
- Kerning between "power" and ellipsis is bad. They are overlapping.
- "But my mirror-blades don't react aggressively to him" is incorrect because if you use a negative present simple sentence like this, it means that her mirror-blades never react to him. It should be "But my mirror-blades aren't reacting aggressively to him." because she is referring to something that is happening now, not something that is generally true.

Page 4:
- "This place here, it's within my very body" Shouldn't use "it" to substitute for the subject because "this place here" is already being used. "This place here is within my very body." would be correct.
- "Once you're inside it's impossible to fight against me" Missing comma after "inside".

Page 5:
- Missing a comma or semicolon after "appearance:.

Page 6:
- "How horrible is this..." sounds horrible. Consider repphrasing to something that isn't a question to the audience.
- "Affairs"? Some words sound MTL'd.

Page 7:
- "Persuasion attempts" sounds MTL'd.
- "If you manage to resist the beast without asking for more then you win..." Missing a comma after "more".
- "Unbeatable" sounds MTL'd.

Page 8:
- "But it seems that just by waking up you've fallen to the pleasure of the flesh" Missing a comma after "up".
- "Your face now looks" sounds awkward due to the placement of "now" in the middle of the sentence.

Page 9:
- Consider using "connected to" instead of "connected with" since she's focusing on what she's feeling as a result of being connected, not what they're feeling as well.

Page 10:
- Multiple tides without decreased kerning looks awful.
- Kerning between ellipses and words is narrow again. They are touching or close to touching.
- "Disappointment" should not be cut off like so: "disappo-intment" That is not the point between the syllables.

Page 14:
- "Once the tentacle has grown up, it'll implants its eggs" Although "the tentacle" is a singular subject, in future tense, you do not use "s" at the end of the verb. Correct version (with minor edits): "Once the tentacle has grown, it'll implant its eggs."
- Same mistake, again, in the same bubble. There shouldn't be an "s" on the end of "force" in the sentence, "Once the tentacle has grown up, it'll implants its eggs, stimulate the intestinal mucosa along with the movement and then forces you to expel them"
- "The purpose is" sounds MTL'd.

TL/DR:
I can't be bothered to read/list more after page 14. Someone has shown me that on page 23, "ensured" is misspelt as "insured". My final assessment of this doujin: Page 6, Panel 2, White-box'd text #2

Base +5, MarvN +10, dankestdungeon +16, Dead-chan +1, neo_skyline +7, bigscuba +4, Bubblejum +6, vNyx +6, seeinghighdog +7, neochef0 +10, SilenceComes +6, Not Benedict +6, -Shun- +23, and 9 more...

You gotta be joking me rn, not even levelled at all...

Base +4, MarvN +10, Hetzel +4, player4578 -6