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[Fushinsya_Guilty (Ikue Fuji)] Mizugi Osakabehime o Reiju de Sukihoudai | Do whatever you want with Osakabehime under the effect of the command spell (Fate/Grand Order) [English] [Thiago Firmo]

[不審者罪 (幾枝風児)] 水着刑部姫を令呪で好き放題 (Fate/Grand Order) [英訳]

Doujinshi
Posted:2020-10-14 03:07
Parent:None
Visible:Yes
Language:English  TR
File Size:48.64 MiB
Length:23 pages
Favorited:737 times
Rating:
186
Average: 4.43

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Posted on 14 October 2020, 03:07 by:   mecte    PM
Uploader Comment
Just a quick translation, no one commissioned it, I just had a urge to translate something lol
Posted on 14 October 2020, 06:51 by:   neh1234    PM
Score +15
It's a rare non NTR Hime doujin, thanks.
Posted on 14 October 2020, 07:34 by:   Beyond Imagination    PM
Score +68
@neh1234 Non NTR neethime doujin is not rare lmao. Don't make it sound like she gets nothing but NTR doujins.
Posted on 14 October 2020, 08:38 by:   Fate Averruncus    PM
Score +42
Holy shit this TL is shite... Do you not proofread or speak native or even secondary English???
Posted on 14 October 2020, 09:14 by:   anon431    PM
Score +42
Muh ORGARMS
Posted on 14 October 2020, 10:04 by:   tcaz2    PM
Score +56
Yeah please get a native speaker to proofread, at least. This is almost unreadable at parts.
Posted on 14 October 2020, 13:21 by:   mecte    PM
Score +28
@Fate Averruncus @tcaz2 Thank for the tips, english is actually my third language, so it`s still a little hard for me to write dialogues on it. This Okki doujin was a fast translation, I has short on time so I couldn't review it too much or send to friends to proofread, so I`m sorry if it turned out with strange dialogues. I will do it right on the next one
Posted on 14 October 2020, 22:54 by:   VodkaAllDay    PM
Score +48
What do you mean short on time? Is someone holding a gun to your head to release this?
Chances someone else is going to retranslate this are very low so we're going to have this version on the internet forever. I hope you fix it.
Posted on 15 October 2020, 06:46 by:   Vanilla Cream    PM
Score +45
Here's an obligatory list for the poor grammar tag.
P.3: Casino is spelled wrong. Also, you're missing an "a" in between "such defenseless" & an "it" before "was only".
P.4: Technically there should be an "and" before "even the swimsuit". It does break the flow of the dialogue though, so it'd be better just to swap out the commas for exclamation marks instead.
There should also be an "of" in between "all them" & you're missing an "are" in between "what we".
"Appear" should be "appears". "How we're" should be "how are we".
"The last part" doesn't make sense in this sentence; something was mistranslated. Do you mean "last time" or "the last straw was kind of..."?
P.5: "Smell" should be "smells", and the respective sentence should end with a period or exclamation instead of a comma after "good".
P.6: Softness is spelled wrong. An "a" is missing in between "such lewd". And "wasted" should be "waste".

I listed more than 10 in a compacted format. Kind of surprising that I found more than enough in 4 pages.

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