Any constructive criticism is appreciated. Hopefully chapter 3 won't take this long. Unless anyone else feels like picking it, since it turns out it's actually quite off-putting to jerk off to your own dialogue.
Also, if anyone has links to guides and such for translating and typesetting (I'm on Clip Studio Paint) that would be very helpful, particularly anything specifically geared towards hentai. I feel like most of the stuff I'm doing could be streamlined, but I'm basically learning as I go.

As an editor for the Little White Butterflies scanlation group, I can tell you that many of the guides for Adobe Photoshop can apply to other editing applications, just with different locations for options. EHCOVE has a whole suite of tutorials for you to look up: https://forums.e-hentai.org/index.php?showtopic=68725. I'll also proffer advice that most people seem to ignore but fuck it, I'll tell you anyway. By the way, there are no typesetting tutorials that are "geared towards hentai" but rather, you take these concepts and apply them to hentai.

The very first thing I noticed is that you're using resized scans, but considering the Chinese RAW you used is not very good, I can forgive you on that front. Besides, the real scans are only marginally larger. If you were using downsized scans for something that's at least 3000px, then there'd be a problem. In the future though (or in future chapters, in your case), to download full-size scans, you have 2 options. The first one is at the very bottom of the gallery page, there's an option to "Download original source" that you can click on. The other option at the top right of the gallery page underneath "Report Gallery" is "Archive Download". Click on that, then click on "Download Original Archive" and voila, full-size scans. Your scans are definitely resampled, because they're 1280 x 1945 resolution, whereas the original is 1466 x 2220. Again, not a huge deal, but one of the very first things a good scanlator absolutely positively MUST DO is source full-size scans.

The next thing a good scanlator must do is properly clean their scans. Your scans are clearly NOT properly cleaned, which involves leveling. Leveling is the adjustment of white, black, and grey levels to clean scans and get rid of artifacts and noise present in the raw scan. http://www.ruinevil.com/rawr/editguide/1.html#3. To a much lesser extent, I also notice excess borders on the bottoms and left or right sides of pages, depending on how the manga was originally bound, so if you were so inclined, you could crop those borders to give your project a much more streamlined look, but it's completely optional for you.

Ideally, you'd save your raw files in a lossless format like PSDs for Photoshop, but you don't use that, so find your lossless file equivalent for CSP and go from there. But it's not enough to do just that. You also have to convert your files from RGB color to Greyscale, then export your files as 32 or 64-color B/W PNGs to cut down on bloat. Since I'm only familiar with Photoshop, I can't help you with the options in CSP, so like all good editors, you'll have to look up how to do all that on your own for CSP. Alternatively, you can acquire Photoshop through less then scrupulous means, and learn from there. Seriously, at some point, get Photoshop and learn how to use it. Seriously.

But the worst part of your edit is your lack of font congruency. Your font in this chapter shifts halfway through from Anime Ace 2.0 to Manga Temple for some reason. That, in turn, is a shift from your first chapter which used Wild Words. Shifting from font to font to font without any uniformity is jarring and makes your scanlation hard to follow, particularly if you have multiple characters speaking. You need at a bare minimum 3 fonts: one for dialogue, one for thoughts/narration (where applicable), and one for sexual noises. So far in your 2 chapters, I've seen Wild Words, Anime Ace 2.0, Manga Temple, Trashand, "Another", and Augie, all used in seemingly random parts of your manga. Keep your fonts uniform because when your fonts shift from page to page, it makes it all the more confusing to read.

I also don't know why scanlators think it's a good idea to put single punctuation (question marks and exclamation points, for example) on separate lines, yourself included. Pages 7 and 12 are the worst offenders. Again, a typesetting tutorial of any kind will hopefully rid you of that rookie mistake.

In addition to the tutorials I linked and the pages on EHCOVE, you can also look at other works from established groups like the Little White Butterflies, Team Koinaka, RedLantern, and White Symphony, and see how they typeset so you can see what's acceptable. Best of all, all of their works have gone through an extensive QC (Quality Check) process, so they're free of any minor errors or issues that other scanlations might have.

Heavy dose of reality: no matter how good you think you are, your first couple of projects are always going to be terrible, especially if you have no prior experience. Also another thing of note, a translation of a translation is never going to be any fucking good. There's just too much lost in translation when you translate from another translation (JP to CN to EN), plus by your own admission, you're learning Mandarin, but I don't know how fluent you are. Also, sidebar, how the fuck would a Japanese RAW help you with names and proper nouns if by your own admission, YOU DON'T KNOW JAPANESE?!? That doesn't make any fucking sense to me. Whatever you fucking do, don't go down the rewrite route of just making shit up. I fucking hate that shit, and you should too. Don't be just another fuck-up uploader on e-hentai. There's plenty of those brainless fucks around shitting all over perfectly good works, and I fear that you might end up like them on the translation front.

Good scanlations are hard work. If everybody could do them, I wouldn't be so special. So hopefully, my advice won't fall upon deaf ears and you'll take at least a quarter of what I've said to heart, but I fear my words will fall upon deaf ears, like so many other people I spoke to and guided, but to no avail. One last bit of advice, but if you really want long term improvement, you'll have to put in a lot of hard fucking work by learning a lot on your own. That's what I did. I went from not knowing a fucking thing about editing to being a top-flight editor for an equally top-flight scanlation group called the Little White Butterflies (LWB for short). If I can do it, then so can you, but you have to put the time and effort and most importantly, you must want to improve in order to get better at editing and translating.

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Thanks for continue doing this, seriously your translation is better much than those poor grammar out there.

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