My first H release, I hope this translation is acceptable. I took the advice from my last release and I think that I was able to make this release look better.

RAW: https://e-hentai.org/g/1245032/203c995f23/

Alternative translations:

Korean: https://e-hentai.org/g/1249530/ce24d8eb47/

Chinese: https://e-hentai.org/g/1285146/b4dfa6b2c3/

Base +19, Leo 69 +6, Do not mind me +6, 某次元贰货 +6, MasterKyouma +6

Your work is an improvement over your previous one, but your typesetting needs a lot of improvement, as well as your sourcing of raw files to edit on.

When you source your files, make sure they're full-size. E-hentai always resamples the files to smaller resolution (1280 x 1800) for large files. Just by luck, you right-clicked on the pictures and downloaded the right ones, but that's almost never the case. There are three ways to source full-size files:

1.) Provided you have enough GP, you can download the original archive via "Archive Download" on the right-hand side of the gallery, circled in green: https://puu.sh/GS9gM/54c75da594.png
2.) You can torrent the file, but make sure that they're full size (ie. NOT x1280), directly underneath "Archive Download".
3.) Finally, you can click on this option at the bottom of every page to download the original source image: https://puu.sh/GS9l8/0c8c824f2b.png

I can already tell that your files are in RGB color because your scans have this bluish tint to them. You need to convert your files to greyscale and export them as greyscale PNGs, so here's a 6-step guide showing you how to do so:

1.) This file's in RGB color by default, circled in green: https://puu.sh/GQDIS/d06e7b5d38.png
2.) Showing you how to change from RGB color to greyscale: https://puu.sh/GQDNH/2f7cec4ad9.png
3.) Discard color data to change: https://puu.sh/GQDOf/353dee9762.png
4.) Now the file's in greyscale, circled in green: https://puu.sh/GQDQw/e918d2f029.png
5.) Using the export to web option: https://puu.sh/GQDSu/8bc322505f.png
6.) Export settings for 32-color B/W PNGs: https://puu.sh/GQDXR/4e507aad3a.png

You also need to level your scans with this guide: http://www.ruinevil.com/rawr/editguide/1.html#3

As I mentioned previously, you need to improve your typesetting. It's not enough to just put text in bubbles. You also have to size and center it to an acceptable degree. Every single page has typesetting issues, with bubbles either being crowded, text being way too small, text not being centered properly, unnecessary vertical text placement, or combination of the aforementioned issues. Do not vertically typeset unless there's no other feasible alternative to it.

Let me take page 3, convert it to greyscale, level the scan, and properly typeset the bubbles to give you an idea of what good typesetting looks like, and what you should strive for (because I'm an editor for the LWB scanlation group): https://puu.sh/H3ASa/fc912a60e0.png.

Notice how the text is properly centered and neither too big or too small, as well as having no vertical typesetting? Even with just one font, with my experience, I was able to make this one page look infinitely better. I give my permission for you to copy my exact typesetting style to apply to your future works. Seriously, use it.

Common mistakes in typesetting - https://www.nightblood.net/post/173647481418/manga-lettering-guide
Ero-Otoko's guide to typesetting/translating - https://e-hentai.org/g/274869/052c6b9d43/
Cove of scanlators guides for editing/typesetting - https://forums.e-hentai.org/index.php?showtopic=68725

As to the translation, since I'm not a translator myself, I won't comment on it. Hopefully this helps you out.

Last edited on 04 January 2021, 22:34.

Base +28, PluEmz +7, nametooshort +6, soiltude +6, Static Transit +6, PiePriate +6, as102 +10, kinoshita_tokichiro +31, Leo 69 +6, firestorm252 +6, nimea +6, xx_frankscarlet +6, trieant67 +6, and 10 more...

this was more entertaining than I thought
good stuff

Base +13, HorridGuest +16, Shimeru +6, MasterKyouma +6, FrogxDor +9

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

(after regaining composure) once more Menea The Dog/the Dogstyle posse strikes Comedy Platinum, as perhaps only he/they can, ..... AND IT IS GLORIOUS!

"APPROVED!"

Base +7, Do not mind me +6, joe132 -7, LurkingLilFaggot -6, Chrys0k0ll -7, Secundus -7, MasterKyouma +6, Verganza -6, marilmaril -6