https://www.dlsite.com/maniax/work/=/product_id/RJ239699.html
https://www.dmm.co.jp/dc/doujin/-/detail/=/cid=d_140185/

translation info:
raw: https://e-hentai.org/g/1342650/2c2b94f8e9/
group: BloodMoonScans https://bloodmoon-scans.blogspot.com/p/commi.html
commissioner: espeon https://gender.tf

read early and support more gb at https://gender.tf !

ch 1: (you are here)
ch 2: https://e-hentai.org/g/1779359/489976ead6/

I think I actually like the other translation more. It was wonky but this one takes too many liberties.

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@UnGtx Translator here. How so? I always make sure to stay as close to the original lines as possible, deviating only just enough so that the final product reads like natural English rather than an awkward literal translation (a common mistake of amateurs). If anything, the other translation was guilty of "taking too many liberties", since approximately half of it was either improvised or just plain inaccurate. But if that's what you prefer, then you're more than entitled to it, I guess.

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Page 8 (008.jpg) appears to be missing.

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@doctorchimera Maybe liberties wasn't the right phrasing, as the context is accurate. I'm not exactly in a position to nitpick details, but you don't need good understanding of Japanese, or any for that matter, to know that strictly English onomatopoeia ("wah", "slobber", "groan" etc) and expressions ("fuck", "oh my god", "what the hell", "sicko", "tada" etc ) were localization attempts. You don't even need to look at the raw to noticed a lot of tacked on phraseology. It's not natural English, it's your interpretation of how these characters would act, speak and think. Sure, it doesn't deviate from the overall plot, but it transforms their personalities, changes the tone and can even alter the narrative.

You are right, I much prefer literal translations to localizations. There's not much else to say since you openly aim for the later and think the former is amateurish. I'm sure there are a lot of people that share your outlook, so don't let some nobody on the Internet discourage you.

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@UnGtx Like I said, you're entitled to your opinion. I would say that the majority would disagree, however, if for no other reason than simply on the grounds that many Japanese words (especially onomatopoeia) don't even have an English equivalent to begin with. I am curious, though: How would you choose to do a literal translation for 「ジャーン」 or 「そんな」?

As for altering the tone? It's porn, lol. There are only so many interpretations to choose from.

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Nice translation. Thanks for posting

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Every once in a while, I look back and think "I wish I could get the full size version of that cover."

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