A new commission
Original https://e-hentai.org/g/996621/1e15dafde0/
Commissions for the translation of any type of CG or Manga: https://raknnkarscans.blogspot.com/

Currently I'm still working on the translation, I'll have the next part of the CG ready in a month, after that the plan is to periodically upload 1/4 of the work every 2 months unless the client decides to cancel.

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You need an editor. Or better understanding of english grammar.

p.70 "Ueda, you... did you get turned on to be BY BEING sexually harassed by your sensei...? So imagining things like this makes her go this way THAT CAUSES HER TO REACT LIKE THIS...?"

I won't be going over any other instances I find at this time. I'm here to fap after all. But seriously consider having a native english speaker go over your translations even informally. Those lines hurt a little to read.

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do you go translate all pages?

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@Kaisigmu

Hi there, I'm the Editor of that script. Firstly, I am a native English speaker. Secondly, I have a long history in this sort of work and I've read quite a lot of scripts over that time from both reading, proofreading and of course directly editing scripts.I would like you to consider the idea that the English language isn't one straight forward line so I take into consideration bubble spacing and dragging on text too long which means having to reworking it into a more digestible bite size piece. Basically "hentai speech" which fluxes depending on the situation like if I were to change "I'm going to" into "I'm gonna". Also, not every character is speaking the same, nor is every instance of fucking going to read like a harlequin romance novel.

As per your lines here.
"Ueda, you... did you get turned on to be TO BE sexually harassed by your sensei...?" TO BE is coming from the idea that he's seeing addressing her from the idea of her being underlying horniness as these gals are very peculiar in their nature to that of more regular girls from the mainland as basically being more.... acclimated for fucking.

So imagining things like this makes her go this way THAT CAUSES HER TO REACT LIKE THIS...?" Sure, I could've gone with this, but I'm sort of keeping it looser on purpose, If anything I should've had it as "So imagining things like this makes her REACT this way .

Now while I do appreciate you taking the time to examine this, I would prefer that you DM the translator directly, or me now that you know who is doing a majority of these proofreads instead of putting someone on blast. It's not very tactful when wanting to cite legit criticism that could benefit the translator in the future. Now with that being said, please continue to enjoy your free fap content like a good lad, eh?

Last edited on 30 July 2021, 20:20.

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excellent, perfect, fantastic, very hot

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@Super Shanko
I got confused while reading too. To be fair, I don't know where you're from, but I don't think you speak something comparable to Standard English, which I assume you'd have recognized if you've been doing this for as long as you say you have.

From your comment alone, you've done:
A) double verbs "he's seeing addressing her",
B) using a noun as an adjective (coupled with the usage of an adjective instead of an adverb) "her being underlying horniness" (cf. her being underlyingly horny), or (cf. her (having) underlying horniness)
C) gerund-as-infinitive is "which means having to reworking it" (cf. having to rework it)

I'm not saying you're wrong, just that your speech differs from most people's and is confusing.

I don't doubt you're a native speaker, and it doesn't matter how you speak when just communicating normally, but if your speech variety differs this much from broader Standard English, it really shouldn't be used as reference for proofreading or editing, unless that's the original intent (like regional accents as part of a character's speech patterns). It's clearly evident it's creating confusion in communication. I actually got confused reading your comment, to be honest. I get editing for brevity, but not if it renders the text confusing or unintelligible.

Cause the line is this
エッチな想像しちゃったのか、そんな腰、くだけるまで…
Erotic imagination-do QU, that (kind of) hip, until (it) collapsed
Which is something like "Were you imagining something erotic? For your hips (body?) to collapse to that extent..."

上田、 お前…俺に、先生に乳揉みセクハラされて…感じたのか…?
Ueda, you... by me, by teacher rub-boob-sexual harassment-passive... feel-past-question
Something like "Ueda, did you get aroused (lit. "are you feeling (it)") from being sexually harassed by me, your teacher?"

Too wordy to add "boob-rubbing sexual harassment" so I'd omit "boob-rubbing".

Even the title (絶海孤島の女子校で誘惑され続ける俺は...), "I can't stop being seduced into this girl's school on this isolated island"
He's not being seduced INTO the school, he's seduced (or rather, tempted) AT the school. That's what the で particle indicates (女子校で... = At (the) girl's school).

Last edited on 13 February 2022, 06:43.

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Kaisigmu is right, you're wrong Super Shankio. Your English grammar is not proper syntax. Although the extra "by" was unneeded, it was "being ", as current tense. "to be" is future tense.

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