Raw: https://e-hentai.org/g/867234/318639aa52/

I'm not dead, life just made it impossible to upload this until now.

What on earth happened to the scan quality? These look terrible compared to the raw.

Base +7, Cadavrus +6, Pwningbacon -7, Riddik11 +7, The14thNoah +12, nonShade -13

So glad i'm not the only one who thought the quality left much to be desired, i straight up thought that it was my monitor for a sec. yikes.

Base +6, Cadavrus +6, nonShade -13, covoc +6

Man, c'mon. This is your 51st translation. You've been doing this for almost two years, and you still unironically publish shit like this. Besides the glaring issues with the overall quality of the scan (how the hell did you even do that?):

1. You still export your images as RGB jpgs. Black and white images should be exported as greyscaled pngs to a) de-bloat; and b) maintain quality, i.e avoid the kind of massive artifacting present in your translation.

2. Still a lot of dust in many of your bubbles. This is like... cleaning 101. Good trick: create a "check" layer. This is a normal level layer where you set the blacks all the way to the max. Any minuscule speck of grey will appear as a big black blob against the white background. You couldn't miss it, even if blind.

3. You could give a semblance of an effort when typesetting shit like the arsenal panel on page 1. It doesn't remotely look like the original.

Resources for you: https://quicksandscans.wordpress.com/resources/

I know I'm coming across as an asshole, but you're doing commissioned work. The least you could do is strive for SOME improvement and avoid adding to the sea of lazy, low-quality cashgrabs plaguing this site. I feel like I'm making comments like this daily now, which is getting concerning.

2021/11/02 EDIT: Updating your galleries and striving for improvement is a great thing. Frankly, that's more effort and care than what many "translators" put into their work. If you need to take some to polish your skills, be it Japanese/English fluency or editing, then don't be afraid to do that and don't despair. There's mountains of resources available, and you'd be doing yourself (and the community) a big favor. Remember: you're offering paid work here. This means that the standards people expect and demand from your translations are significantly higher, and you need to be able to meet them.

Last edited on 02 November 2021, 06:15.

Base +12, Nahkaparturi +6, Cadavrus +6, Latson4 +6, chaos-x +42, as102 +11, opaidejavi +8, animadversion +6, Benny-boy +29, Riddik11 +7, Gandu89 +11, nibelounge +5, Ultros13 +11, and 20 more...

..........................................

Last edited on 01 November 2021, 22:10.

Base +6, Leoevil +9, vdnx +6, Ultros13 -11, NSFWSB -8, Daruna -9, KNY -9, Juggernaut Santa -30, spierdalacz -8, THDragon -28, Alaephant -6, andystevens1997 -7, huhtech -19

It's actually a little worse than that, if you can believe it. The terrible quality is only part of it. It's absolutely inexcusable to release something in this state, and your editor getting COVID-19 and you getting lazy doesn't magically excuse that. Even in this new upload that clearly uses the existing JP raw, there's silly stuff like only taking care of defects in the raw if they happen to cross into speech bubbles, rather than just fixing the flaws (or, as I would do in this case, scanning the book anew so you have a proper raw to work from).

But see, I'm not an editor/typesetter, I'm a translator. So I'm gonna come in here and nitpick your translation, because I actually love this book so much that I own a copy of it physically, so it pains me to see it mistreated like this.

The second page isn't too egregious. Tiny things I would change simply because they help the flow of conversation, but nothing so wrong as to be inexcusable. It's the third page where you start to lose the plot, and you shouldn't because this is basic Japanese grammar stuff. Kaga didn't use that vibrator. The way you phrased it, it sounds like this vibrator belonged to Kaga, but then after she masturbated with it, it stopped working and so she brought it to the Admiral to bring it to Akashi because she was too embarrassed to do it herself. Except of course that isn't what he said. What he actually said was that it stopped working -after he used it on Kaga-. It belongs to the Admiral himself, which is why he's the one bringing it to Akashi for repairs. It also is why Akashi is so stunned; she's not hearing that Kaga is masturbating (this would be awkward to hear but not uncommon), she's hearing that her Admiral is going around shoving vibrators into his ship girls.

When talking about waterproofing, we use "up to." So the newly-modified vibrator can be used up to 10m underwater.

What does "added a torque to it" even mean? That doesn't make sense in English, on top of not being what was said in Japanese. She said she increased the torque of the motor inside the vibrator.

"Licking test" isn't really what was said. "Okay, let's have you inspect this by licking it." "Y-You...want me to lick it?" I think I know why you went with "licking test," but because of that I also think it's wrong.

"...your inner mucous membrane..." makes it sound like someone only has one. Membranes should be plural. In addition, the line where you translated "inside your body" actually said "mucous membranes," so I am not sure why you changed it. "Something that comes into contact with mucous membranes should be tested with mucous membranes."

"That is why." is boring; something closer to the formal way Admiral replies here would be, "Is that not sufficient reason?"

"Carefully, keep going" isn't even remotely what Admiral says. He actually says, "You need to meticulously lick every last inch." What???

Why do people constantly try to translate "苦しい" as "it hurts" when the context clearly shows that it's referring to the inability to breathe, not the experience of pain? She isn't saying it hurts. She's thinking that she can't breathe.

"Forcefully pushing it so deep inside my throat, opening it..." is silly, and also not what she's thinking. "It's...forcing my throat to stretch wider..." is all that's actually written. Nothing about depth.

"Is it a fuel leak what I'm seeing?" isn't correct grammar. "My, my, is that a fuel leak I see?"

I know I said I'm not an editor, but the "redraw" on page 14 is really bad. Also speaking of bad, "This, This is bad" isn't quite right. "This...thing is dangerous!" is what she's thinking.

Nitpick but "push it so deeply" isn't quite what he was doing. He was moving it around while it was already pushed in deep. Move it around, slurch it around, etc.

Also nitpick but the bit where Akashi talks about "the wrong hole" is actually linked to the "HNN" bubble. In JP she says "jana--" and her groan is the "iiiiiii," so a better way would be to have the first part be "the wrong ho--" followed by "OOHHHH!!!" She's also technically saying that "that hole isn't for inserting things," but hey.

p18 you then get totally wrong. The bubble you put "WHA-?!" isn't Akashi; it's the Admiral, and it's continuing his speech bubble from the previous panel. Going by your translation, the previous panel's bubble should say "It's this one..." while the next bubble says "Right?!"

"Was I clear?" is silly again. It makes no sense to use past tense here in English, and he didn't use past tense in Japanese either. A simple "Understood?" is the proper thing to use there.

Anyway those are the big things. A lot of the book, as I said, has little things that I would phrase differently, but they're little enough that while they bother the hell out of me, they're not technically wrong, so whatever. The stuff I listed above though really should be addressed.

EDIT: Good update. But when you changed the line on p17 to be "the hole isn't for inserting," that now meant you had to change the Admiral's phrasing on p18 to account for that change. It really was better to leave it as "the wrong hole" since it flows better in English. I pointed out what the JP said for clarity's sake, but I wasn't arguing about the way you chose to translate it. While JPs do use "the wrong hole" in eromanga (そっちちがう！ or ちがう穴だから！), the whole "that hole isn't for inserting things," while common in JP, can be a bit awkward in English. It's understandable to go with "wrong hole" when translating to English just because English readers are more familiar with that phrase. So yeah, would be good to either change p17's phrasing back, or update p18's phrasing to match the new p17.

EDIT 2: Thanks for the quick fix!

Last edited on 03 November 2021, 08:09.

Base +17, Protazy +5, Xiroam +10, GloriousEel +6, Daruna +9, B1u3z +8, derperherper +6, Light_Dragon +7, Parnifia the Bastard +10, neo_skyline +19, sgc_geh +9, Teh_Red_Guy +11, Juggernaut Santa +32, and 7 more...

Wait, someone PAID MONEY for this release?

Base +8, Parnifia the Bastard +10, Juggernaut Santa +32, _iwanttofuckingdie +6, alllifeinfate +6

@ Exhausted: taking course in Japanese, learn to edit etc and doing it yourself isn't worth it than a simple commission

Base +12