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[Blitzkrieg (Toppogi)] Toshishita no Onnanoko ni Ijimerareru Tennis-bu

[ブリッツクリーク (トッポギ)] 年下の女の子にいじめられるテニス部

Doujinshi
Posted:2021-12-06 12:13
Parent:None
Visible:Yes
Language:Japanese  
File Size:48.01 MiB
Length:57 pages
Favorited:113 times
Rating:
56
Average: 4.04
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Showing 1 - 40 of 57 images

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Posted on 06 December 2021, 13:33 by:   qq873001278    PM
Score +9
不是我不是很明白这种社团真的可能活的下来吗
Posted on 06 December 2021, 16:00 by:   舞司 輓曲    PM
Score +18
這我不敢保證,不過我的雞雞肯定活不下來
Posted on 19 December 2021, 20:57 by:   myoxy    PM
Score +18
Problems I had with this:
- Weak setup like many of Blitzkrieg's works. No time taken to show the status quo in the tennis club at the start, or the different attitudes the members had toward him at start, and key info like Rio's personality is thrown into the middle of the story instead.
- Poor and exaggerated characterization, which is also present in most Blitzkrieg works: Early on, Ken loses fair and square to Ai, yet makes excuses for himself. Yet later on, when he has an obvious excuse ("that girl was trying to distract me") for his loss to Hana he doesn't use it, and accepts the "truth" that he's "even weaker than a girl who's only been practicing tennis for a month". Rio is suddenly introduced as a girl faking interest in him in order to use irojikake on him to make him lose the match against Hana, but her actions are overly elaborate and never justified in any way; the story also never comments on how he feels about the fact he lost the match because of her, plus his reactions are so exaggerated (Rio just smiles at him and he goes DOKI and doesn't notice the serve). Later on, the scene with Ai suddenly facesitting him and then acting surprised by and mocking his erection is also bad writing. In general, the central character Ai doesn't feel like a kouhai at all, except for her using keigo at the start and calling him senpai; she's not timid or naive at any moment, so this doesn't feel like "femdom by a kouhai" at all either.
- This whole story feels like a bad copy of the plots of a couple of my all-time favorite amateur femdom web novels written by Akagi: https://web.archive.org/web/20180712032235/http://jikahatuden.x.fc2.com/works.html the volleyball story and the tennis story. In particular, it feels like Blitzkrieg awkwardly threw in an irojikake scene into the plot because that's his main fetish. Also, the great thing about the stories I just mentioned, particularly the volleyball one, is that you can really empathize with the protagonist feeling "trapped" in the situation of being bullied. In this manga, I kept thinking, "it would be so easy for him to just not show up to practice anymore--no skin off his back". Anyway, I think it's very likely Blitzkrieg read it. The site I just linked is literally called 年下の女の子にいじめられたい with a story called 女子テニス部の1年生, and the title of this is 年下の女の子にいじめられるテニス部 . And of course the plots overlap a lot, like I said.

Still, thanks for sharing.

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