Appreciate the translation, but if you're going to translate a derivative work like this, it'd be best to spend some time researching official translations, or popular translations if not officially translated.

Star Island Isutarushia -> Island of the Astrals Estalucia
Grand Master -> Captain

There's also some mistranslations and awkward phrasing here and there. Not gonna go over all of them, but the ones most worth pointing out are

p4. This place costs a lot of money -> Priestesses need a lot of money
p8. I'm always watching the Draphs -> You're always watching the Draphs (Mixing up the subjects is a very common mistake, make sure to check context if you're unsure)
p14. I think I'm going crazy -> You're hitting sensitive spots I didn't know I had (How the fuck did this one happen?)
p15. No... - Gran -> No, even though I'm a priestess...
p15. No... even though... -> A priestess of the Zeyen faith...

Honestly, it seems like you struggled to finish at the end and decided to just make up a few textboxes that you didn't know how to translate.

Base +9, PinguPrin +7, bigscuba +8, Juggernaut Santa +32, freudia +35, AzureTime +6, howshi +6

You also missed a few textboxes:
- p6 top
- p7 top right
- p9 bottom left
- p11 bottom left
- p15 bottom left
- p16 top and bottom left
that would require doing a tiny bit of cleaning/redrawing and using a different font (was that too much work?)

It would be nice also translating the "listing" in p2 bottom left.

Base +8, PinguPrin +7, bigscuba +8, Juggernaut Santa +32, firedragon89 +14

Please center text.

Base +25, firedragon89 +14