"hmm i'm typesetting a comic so i should use comic sans"

cbf savaging the rest but someone else'll probably come around and do it

Base +7, cybeast93 +16, Draw99Gray +18, Nobody_Know +7, Lithium03 -11, GeniusDuck +6, kingejn +6, dfgghgf +6, Porokichin66 +9

Japanese
Korean
Chinese translated by 便宜汉化组
French
English (You are here)

Base +45, maliroh -6, darkwing42 +47

https://e-hentai.org/s/9cd9fd323c/2289270-42

"Natsuho Minami was a menbre of her university swimming class, everyone trust her."
"After graduation she became coach in a gym."
"She his an active and happy girl, but she only think about swimming."

I don't think the translator was an active "menbre" of his English class and I absolutely would not trust him with further scanlation work.

Base +16, orasmase +8, Mordax +7, Nihiru +8, nikgtasa +12, soltyice +10, GeniusDuck +6, pahindok +18, Lin84210 +11, kingejn +6, pkplat +12, Daruna +10, sectorunit888 +8, and 18 more...

This translation is giving me NES Metal Gear flashbacks

Base +6, DarkTemplarXIII +6, GeniusDuck +6, pahindok +18, kingejn +6, Frznr1 +6, pkplat +12, Mandraken +6, grobe01 +8, Megaton +45, Daddyfatsack +6

Yeah this is definitely a rough grammar

Base +29, DarkTemplarXIII +6, pahindok +18, kingejn +6, Frznr1 +6, cutegyaru +17, Mandraken +6, Megaton +45, grobe01 +8, Daddyfatsack +6

"English (You are here)"

Nope, I dont think we fucking are...

Base +6, TheHoot +6, kingejn +6, DarkTemplarXIII +6, Frznr1 +6, pkplat +12, maliroh +6, dfgghgf +6, cutegyaru +17, digi4 +10, SoyKaf +5, Falloree +8, Synthetical +6, and 19 more...

Don't worry, I'm working with him to get the English fixed.

About the rough grammar tag, I just added it, please don't upvote it, because we will have to downvote it later on when the gallery is fixed.
Here are the reason for poor grammar. I'm going to send him the full corrected script so hopefully he will fix it.

Page 1:
That's all for today swimming lesson --> That's all for today's swimming lesson.
Thanks to stretch out correctly --> Now please stretch properly.

Page 2 :
I swim too much today --> I swam too much today.
I always loved swimming and I work in this gymnasium since I got my degree --> I have always loved to swim and I have been working in this sports complex since I got my degree.
(OPTIONAL) I still have a lot to learn but I am very happy to be able to swim every day --> I still have a lot to learn but it makes me happy to swim every day.
(IMPORTANT : tanlines, not "brand") The sun left some pretty big brands ---> The sun has left me with quite a few tan lines.
Does that make too sloppy --> Does that make me look sloppy?

Page 3 :
Hmm, their doing a boot camp with the club? --> Hmm, are they doing a boot camp with the club?
Seems good for the transports --> Should be doable to get there by car.
As senior of the natation club, I will take care of you! --> I'm the senior of the swimming club, I will take care of you!

Page 4 :
At last the holidays -> Holidays, at last.
After 2h drive in car from Tokyo --> After a two-hour drive from Tokyo,
You can rely on me --> You can rely on me, sensei

Page 5 :
(Note : pretty funny, "bitch" instead of "beach") We enjoyed the summer and the bitch with the menbers of the club, it's been so long --> We enjoyed the summer and the sea with the club members, it's been so long...
Taht ---> That

Page 6 :
(OPTIONAL) Yeah! Drink, drink! -> Yeah, let's drink, let's drink!
Boarf, in any case --> Meh, whatever.

Page 8 :
The tanning brand are sooo sexy --> Her tanlines are sooo sexy
Is the record ready --> Are you ready to film?

[...] (and so on)

Last edited on 04 August 2022, 01:12.

Base +37, cutegyaru +17, Jakuran -8, Harkoz2 +6, Kacywang +6, Daruna -10, spierdalacz -9, amaretto +6, Megaton +45, grobe01 -8, darkwing42 +47, Shurikensei +10

@JnTo

I don't think it's worth trying to proofread it since it's very obviously MTL and therefore unfixable at it's core

Page 3:

Your TL: Very good
RAW text: はーい皆さん
Author’s intent: “Okay everyone!”, calling people over

Page 4:

Your TL: Aah…I swim too much today
RAW text: はー．．．今日もよく泳いだなぁ
Author’s intent: “Haa…I swam a whole lot again today~”, not ‘too much’

Your TL: The sun left some pretty big brands
RAW text: よく見たらかなり焼けてるじゃん
Author’s intent: “If I look closely, I’ve gotten pretty tanned, haven’t I”, not brands, that’s the kinda shit they do to cows aye

Your TL: Does that make too sloppy?
RAW text: ．．．水泳以外はズボラすぎ？
Author’s intent: “...am I too sloppy with everything but swimming?”, I didn’t word it the best because it’s just a rough translation, but she’s asking herself if swimming is the only thing she isn’t sloppy in, a run on from just only now noticing that she’s a lot more tanned than she thought

Page 5:

Your TL: Seems good for the transports…
RAW text: ま．．．次の連休は特に予定もないし
Author’s intent: “Well…it’s not like I have any particular plans for our next break”, it was at this point I realized this was an MTL

Page 6:

Your TL: After 2H drive in car from Tokyo, I meet my friends from the club, it’s been so long
RAW text: 久しぶりのサークル仲間と合流．．．都内から車で2時間ほどの海水浴場へ
Author’s intent: “It’s been a long time since I’ve met up with my clubmates…After a 2 hour drive from the city, I got to the beach”, just a few missed/wrong things, the RAWs don’t mention Tokyo, and you left out the fact that they/she came to the beach

Your TL: Fiou…
RAW text: ふーあっつい
Author’s intent: “Fuah- So hot…”

Your TL: I have some shopping to do
RAW text: 私は用事で見れないが．．．
Author’s intent: “I’ve got some errands to run, so I can’t watch over them…”, while shopping is an errand you can run, he doesn’t saying shopping, and you also left out the part where he says he can’t watch them or see them or whatever

Page 7:

Your TL: We enjoyed the Summer and the bitch with the menbers of the culb, it’s been so long
RAW text: 久しぶりの大学メンバーと思い切り夏の海を楽しんだ
Author’s intent: “I enjoyed the Summer beach with members of my university I hadn’t seen in a long time to my heart’s content”, again, really shitty basic translation but it should suffice. I gotta assume by bitch you meant beach but it’s still wrong because it’s the summer beach, not summer and the beach

Page 8:

Your TL: Beautiful descent
RAW text: 夏帆先輩もグイっと！
Author’s intent: “You have to drink too, Natsuho-senpai!”, Mr Deepl gave up here, didn’t he

Page 9:

Your TL: I’ve already had more to drink
RAW text: 数倍キツイの飲んだからな
Author’s intent: “I guess it was because the drink was a lot stronger (than usual)...” implying they’ve done this before

Page 10:

Your TL: The tanning brand are so sexy
RAW text: めちゃエロイ日焼け後
Author’s intent: “Her tan lines are so hot”, no brand, no no

Your TL: I’m so calm at the club currently, their is no girls
RAW text: 俺らのサークルも最近目ぼしい女の子も入らなくてなったしな
Author’s intent: “There haven't been any girls entering our club as of recent.”

Page 11:

Your TL: Thanks to let yourself go
RAW text: 先輩はそのままじっとして協力してくださいよ
Author’s intent: “Help us out here and stay still for a bit, okay Senpai?”, nonsensical

Last edited on 04 August 2022, 05:13.

Base +13, cutegyaru +17, nguyea +6, Jakuran +8, Harkoz2 +6, Daruna +10, Megaton +45, grobe01 +8, Ashvinoth +7

@Mr_Person

"I don't think it's worth trying to proofread it since it's very obviously MTL and therefore unfixable at it's core"

At least MTL has words written correctly, this feels like it went through MTL and then someone purposely mixed letters up

Base +6

@Mr_Person
Quote:
Page 5:

Your TL: Seems good for the transports…
RAW text: ま．．．次の連休は特に予定もないし
Author’s intent: “Well…it’s not like I have any particular plans for our next break”, it was at this point I realized this was an MTL

End quote:

I don't know how this sentence got you into thinking it's MTL instead of a good old rewrite.
When I entered the jap. text in google translate and deepl their translations were both in the same ballpark as your translation

google result: devil. . . I have no particular plans for the next consecutive holidays.

deepl result: Well... I don't have any plans for the next consecutive holidays.

Base +20

@mr_person

"Your TL: Beautiful descent
RAW text: 夏帆先輩もグイっと！
Author’s intent: “You have to drink too, Natsuho-senpai!”, Mr Deepl gave up here, didn’t he"

Legit don't know how he messed this one up. If he's MTLingn he's not even doing a good job of that.

Deepl: Kaho senpai also gulped.
google: Kaho-senpai also jeers.

those are both shit but there still closer than "beautiful descent". even assuming leaving her name out was a mistake and he meant "Kaho senpai (too/and/already/etc.) Beautiful descent" doesn't make any sense.

checked them in jisho as well. Jisho always kind of struggles with names but they should be able to recognise the heroine’s name after 8 pages.

jisho gives this for グイっと
Adverb (fukushi)
1. suddenly and forcefully (e.g. jerk, poke, shove)​Onomatopoeic or mimetic word
Adverb (fukushi)
2. in a single gulp; in one go

There's also a picture of a guy handing her a beer to go along with that. Any random cultured individual with the above info could've just winged it on “You have to drink too, Natsuho-senpai!” or something similar.

So I'm not even sure the guy translating this was given any info on what he was translating never mind having it proofread at any point.

Still the only explanation I can come up with for "beautiful descent" is it must have gone through at least one other language first.

One of the worst parts is if you throw the whole sentence in jisho at once you get "Summer"??"Friend/party""and/too/already/etc.""GUI"? (question marks are where it couldn’t suggest anything)

Which you could shit out as "Summer friend is already a graphical user interface"

So he didn't even DUWANG it right!!

Base +6

It's ok, you can admit you actually don't know English

Base +10

Guess this stays in my "maybe i should translate this" list

Base +24, SuperGenericAnon +8

@ Byac don’t like western furry but can’t use blacklist https://e-hentai.org/g/2322306/0b42b1ae92/?hc=1#comments

@ lurphysmaw:
If you want to understand it try learning rougher english. If not others couldnt give a damn

Base +13