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[Yatsuki Hiyori] Before married PE teacher indulges in immoral sexual relation

[八樹ひより] 人妻体育教師 背徳交尾のその先に

Doujinshi
Posted:2022-09-02 14:14
Parent:None
Visible:Yes
Language:English  TR
File Size:9.33 MiB
Length:13 pages
Favorited:532 times
Rating:
137
Average: 2.88

Showing 1 - 13 of 13 images

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Posted on 02 September 2022, 14:34 by:   cybeast93    PM
Score +78
>金輪際
>noun (common) (futsuumeishi)
How is this compound rare and very niche tho?
Posted on 02 September 2022, 15:22 by:   Mr_Person    PM
Score +281
I don't know how you came to half of the translations you did. I ran a few of em through DeepL to see if that's what it was but no, if you'd of done that you've of very easily gotten the right answer (sometimes). A lot of this stuff was just stuff you could look up in any Japanese dictionary, like 金輪際. I don't know what happened here. Along with the rough translation, the English isn't very good either. You spell things wrong, word things wrong, and for some reason consistency capitalize 'you'. Since this is your first translation, that kinda stuff is to be expected, but the rough translation stuff isn't really. If you wanna translate stuff, you gotta at least be able to read it.

I don't really wanna come off as being nasty because yeah it is your first translation, but being able to understand Japanese to a reasonable extent is the minimum before you try this stuff out. Maybe just give yourself a bit more time to study and come back to it later. The doujin translating community always wants to get new people into it, but only if they're going to do it in earnest and put in a real effort.

Page 2.

Your TL: It's normal to have fun with your male friends
RAW text: 男友達と一緒に遊ぶくらい普段だって
Author's intent: "It's normal to play around with your male friends", lit. says play, not have fun, and it kinda irks me that you left out the 'together' and just kept the と.

Your TL: Is your bf from our school? When did he join?
RAW text: 彼氏くんここの学校?いつから?
Author's intent: First parts right, but when he says いつから he's asking how long they've been going out, not when he joined the school.

Your TL: Don't worry about it and just relax
RAW text: たまには息抜きしちゃおーぜ
Author's intent: "You should take some time for yourself every once and a while...", I really don't know how you mistranslated this one, unless it was just a super liberal interpretation

Page 3.

Your TL: Are You trying to force yourself onto girls again?
RAW text: またナンパか 随分強引に誘っていたな?
Author's intent: "You again. playboy? Are you trying to forcibly invite girls out again?", you missed the part where she calls him a playboy/smooth talker and the part where she says 'forcibly inviting', not just forcing himself onto girls, that'd imply he's tryna rape em aye?

Your TL: C'mon, give me a break~
RAW text: ちょちょ勘弁してくださいよ!
Author's intent: "Wait wait wait, please forgive me!", he's responding to her threat of her calling his parents by asking her to forgive him, not something so casual as 'give me a break~'

Your TL: Well...
RAW text: うう~ん...
Author's intent: "Y-Yeah...", this one's a bit pedantic of me, I'll admit it, but by saying well instead of just a straight up, hesitant y-yeah, you're not making her out to be the timid girl she is.

Page 4.

Your TL: Okay, I get it! I get it! I will come!
RAW text: わったー わかったて! 大人しく着いてくから!
Author's intent: First parts right, basically just saying i got it i got it but the next part he doesn't just say, I'll come along, he says something like "I'll behave! I'll come with you!", specifically you forgot the 大人しく

Page 5.

Your TL: If you get it, then don't take it so easy
RAW text: わかったら気安く触れるな
Author's intent: "If you get it, don't touch me so casually/If you get it, don't touch me like we're friends"

Your TL: Even some of the other teachers are afraid of him.
RAW text: 結構他のせんせいとかってビビッてるときあるし
Author's intent: "When other teachers try to speak to him like that, they get pretty frightened/scared/synonym for scared"

Page 9.

Your TL: Amazing...Your real face, filed with desire to lick a cock...
RAW text: すっげ...しゃぶりたい欲求丸出しの顔...
Author's intent: "Amazing...you're baring your true face, the one that desires to suck cock...", you said lick, it says suck, and you didnt say the 丸出し bit where she lays her face bare/shows her face

Your TL: I would never...
RAW text: もうこんな事金輪際...
Author's intent: "I wouldn't ever do this sort of thing...", こんな事 = this kind of thing

Your TL: And yet you are sucking my dick
RAW text: それ割には随分熱心にちんぽ
Author's intent: "You're going at my dick with unexpected zeal/enthusiasm", you say the enthusiasm part in the next bubble but miss the unexpectedly.

Page 10.

Your TL: You knew...what I was after...
RAW text: お前ー...まさか 私の行きつけ...
Author's intent: You-...no way, my preferences...", it kinda plays off into the next bubbles. It seems like he knew that she was aiming for him the entire time, that's why he said he was aiming for her TOO, and she says like, woah you knew what kinda dude I was into from the very start? That's why he was like, hoho, who knows~
Last edited on 02 September 2022, 19:09.
Posted on 02 September 2022, 18:20 by:   Ancient-Alien    PM
Score +63
-Wrong resolution: Your images are only at 1280x1791px while the original images are 4441x6213px.

-Questionable typesetting what means no suitable comicfont. Let me guess, you couldn't find one in the Windows font directory or you've been to lazy to search for comicfonts on the web?

Typesetting guides and other resources:
https://www.insidescanlation.com/etc/the-idiots-guide-to-editing-manga/guide/main
https://www.ruinevil.com/rawr/editguide/index.html
https://quicksandscans.wordpress.com/resources/
https://mangadex.org/title/08e1f85a-bb12-4fe4-aec5-0d7a80b3a261/anonblack-s-typesetting-guide?tab=chapters

-Commission something from you????? Sure, as soon as Easter, my birthday and christmas fall on the same date and also hell freezes over.
Besides my points your tl also got ripped apart. So absolutely no!
Posted on 02 September 2022, 23:17 by:   hentaimaster3000    PM
Score +26
I just love this deep translation analysis in the comments XD
Posted on 03 September 2022, 00:19 by:   Poranya    PM
Score -27
So... Can I ask You guys a question?
Aside from all the other things that are shit and I more or less know why and how to fix them, what do You think about my english?
Is it understandable? Are there things that suck in particular?

I know about the "You" thing and I will try to type properly, if I translate something in the future, but I refuse to keep the "Y" small outside of translations..
Posted on 03 September 2022, 05:38 by:   Mr_Person    PM
Score +93
@Poranya

Besides the normal first translation blunders like sticking too close to the Japanese syntax, it's entirely understandable. I gotta assume you're ESL or you wouldn't be doing that weird 'You' thing, so for a non-native, it's fine. There's some missed capitalization and punctuation though, so you're gonna want to properly proofread your work to iron those out. I'd worry about it if you were to do a more complicated doujin but as it is, as long as you make sure to proofread your work, you should be fine.

Also take a look at those guides @Ancient-Alien posted, your font is aids.
Posted on 03 September 2022, 14:14 by:   Poranya    PM
Score -27
@Mr_Person

Thank You. As You noticed I am an esl and as such, I was mostly worried about my english as something I can't drastically improve on by just trying harder.

As for the sources provided by @Ancient-Alien I have made myself familiar with them. Thank You Mr. Alien, You can order a commission now.

>your font is aids.
italic condensed aids

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