Support the artist:
https://booth.pm/en/items/3935188
https://www.melonbooks.co.jp/fromagee/detail/detail.php?product_id=1506918
https://twitter.com/kun_uryu
https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/5201305

Original, Japanese version:
https://e-hentai.org/g/2308612/679c323af5/

What with all the zoomer slangs? Beside that it's very nice.

Base +8, Ruckkus1411 +7, Hito925 +6, itjustbelikeit -6, u_800 +6

You've clearly put a lot of work into this, but man, what a weird translation. It's full of American slang, but it reads like it was written by a complete ESL. I can appreciate the idea, but you need a proofreader. Rest looks fine, and your editing is very good.

rough grammar

every page: poor punctuation
every page: it's VERY odd to have your characters speak in zoomer lingo, but still have them use standard English (ex: you're often mixing contracted and non-contracted forms, sometimes in the same dialogue bubble. Either go full casual speech patterns or don't lol Example: p.3 I'm glad I have prepped this

p.3 the clothes you bring doesn't look > the clothes you brought don't look
p.3 I prepared it > I prepared them (referring to the outfits)
p.3 this bunny suit > again, this should be plural. there's 2 suits
p.4 keep their hand > hands
p.4 if it with > if it's
p.5 you really into this shit don'tcha > ain'tcha
p.5 I luv > usually this would be okay in slurred/baby speech, but the second love isn't slurred, so idk what the deal is here
p.5 stop your goofy ass voices > this makes no makes. "Stop making those goofy-ass sounds/noises!"
p.5 mommie > mommy
p.5 get your eye checked > eyes
p.5 when you got a cock on your grasp > while you're holding my cock
p.13 your begging skill > skills

Base +17, UnknownDimensions +9, crimsonraes +10, Th3 Sl0th +6, PVRAMXDS +6, moncho5489 -6, itals +6, cynamonbunz +38, Tarball +13, tercessar +6, Hito925 +6, mikey69 +6, GeniusDuck +6, and 1 more...

"p.5 I luv > usually this would be okay in slurred/baby speech, but the second love isn't slurred, so idk what the deal is here"
for this part the producer speaks in a baby speech.

It's obvious that I'm not a native. And I admit this was a rush job, since I made this in a span of 3 days, maybe 5 hours total. But I was a bit and maybe too obsessive with trying to fit the full translated text inside the speech bubbles without making the text size to be smaller, so I made some "changes" with the grammar, as I was trying to balance clarity with succinctness.

If anyone wants to proofread and improve my translations, you can get the psd files here.
https://www.mediafire.com/file/luvwa478inpufsd/bunny.rar/file

Base +5, maokant +5

Agreed; the zoomer slang is annoying

Base +9, Ruckkus1411 +7, Overlol +6, MistaBiggles +6, singingsongs +6, anon1984a -6

Funny TL, the typesetting is really nice tho

Last edited on 04 February 2023, 13:45.

Base +6

Honestly, I enjoyed your translation and thought the typesetting/editing was awesome. Not sure exactly what people mean by 'zoomer slang'. In terms of conveying meaning and an expressive narrative, I felt it was excellent. Sure the grammar in places was subpar but I didn't think it was so bad that it detracted from enjoying it.

Base +9, MistaBiggles -6, singingsongs -6, anon1984a +6