please say hello to the author: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/83894196
https://twitter.com/geee925
https://twitter.com/ebfri0141

I only got one proofreader on this so if you point out blunders in the comments I'll fix them this month.

https://ko-fi.com/cowboytranslat <- I mean to send a fifth of the dough to the authors. Fair's fair

p1 and p7. Kuchiwarui-san and Kawaguchi-san (is this a play on her name or smth?)
p10. Let's start this over then... > Let's start over then (unless what you wrote is in the raw)
p11. satified
p11. Think you'll be satified sometime this week? (um, what?)
p11. What. (This is not a sentence)
p11. Why don't you take off your clothes? > Why don't you take it off? (This works because the reader already knows what "it" is.)
p17. Kuchiwarui-san (Again with this. See my first comment.)
p19. Kuchiwarui-san (copy+paste)
p20. Kuchiwarui-san (copy+paste x2)
p20. Cominnng, Cummming (Why use the word "come" when you're gonna use "cum" in another paragraph/sentence elsewhere in the script?)
p21. ...so now that's your satisfied...
p21. Kuchiwarui-san (Now I'm beginning to think this is the name of the maid, not Kawaguchi-san.)
p22. Kuchiwarui-san (copy+paste x3)
p25. Kuchiwarui-san (copy+paste x4)
p26. Kuchiwarui-san (copy+paste x5)
p27. Kuchiwarui-san (copy+paste x6)
p27. Like > Love (I personally think the word "love" is a much stronger translation here than "like", given their situation.)
p30. Come (The proofreader should really stick to one spelling of the same word.)
p31. Kuchiwarui-san (copy+paste....plays Plain White T's - Broken Record)
p34. mout hand

Base +6, AWWWWWWWWW -6, hobohobo +29, Jouven +8, dankestdungeon +22, Megaton +45, cybeast93 +18, fredfredricson +10, moogabe +7, BaperNu -9

Seems to me her name is indeed Kuchiwarui (which, yeah, sounds more like a nickname than anything else. It's spelled in kana and basically means foul-mouthed). Is her ACTUAL name spelled out anywhere? If not, it might benefit from the rare TL note.

Base +17, BFBK +6, BaperNu +9

p1 and p7. Kuchiwarui-san and Kawaguchi-san (is this a play on her name or smth?)
Her name is Kuchiwarui, I got worried for a moment that I bungled her name like 12 times. Thankfully it was just that one mistake. An early typo was also Waruguchi.
p10. Let's start this over then... > Let's start over then (unless what you wrote is in the raw)
では攻めて is something like "well then I'll go on the attack now".
p11. satified
Thank you
p11. Think you'll be satified sometime this week? (um, what?)
She would like him to finish soon. Unfortunately the following conversation hinges on the word "satisfied". Ideally I would have used something like "Think you'll be done sometime soon?" but that wouldn't segue that well into "It DOES feel unsatisfying".
p11. What. (This is not a sentence)
Correct
p11. Why don't you take off your clothes? > Why don't you take it off? (This works because the reader already knows what "it" is.)
Thank you
p20. Cominnng, Cummming (Why use the word "come" when you're gonna use "cum" in another paragraph/sentence elsewhere in the script?)
Thank you. It feels stronger somehow with a U. I thought I used O for calmer speech and U for excited, but not even that is consistent, so I cleaned it up. I don't think I missed any, but as usual...
p21. ...so now that's your satisfied...
It's continuing that damned thing from p11.
p27. Like > Love (I personally think the word "love" is a much stronger translation here than "like", given their situation.)
Agreed, but the guy went for 好き. Could've gone with aishiteru or daisuki, but didn't. Perhaps he's emotionally repressed, offset by his exuberant sexuality.
p30. Come (The proofreader should really stick to one spelling of the same word.)
Thank you
p34. mout hand
Thank you

Base +6, BaperNu +9

So you only acknowledged some of the errors but not fix them?

p10. I'm not a JP translator but I can tell that you translated this too literally. I think you're allowed some liberties while translating other languages to English to make them flow better, but in this instance translating it literally is just strange to anyone who reads them. Hence my suggestion.
p11. Satified. (Acknowledged error but still not fixed.)
p11. Think you'll be satified sometime this week? (Still, "satified"? And why is she asking if he's gonna be "satified" THIS WEEK? Come on guys...)
p11. What. (Again not a sentence. Use the proper punctuation mark.)
p11. Why don't you take off your clothes? > Why don't you take it off? (You know what pronouns are for, right? No it's not only for gender and stuff. Here's a quick Googled answer on why we use the pronoun "it", and I hope you and your proofreader read it https://www.myhappyenglish.com/free-english-lesson/2020/11/20/english-lesson-using-it/)
p20. I admit that the word "cum" in this situation is acceptable, and using the word "come" (or "came" for its past form) would depend on the situation. It's not like "cum" is in the Oxford dictionary lol.
p21. Spelling error fixed.
p27. Got nothing to say about this as this is only a suggestion, not a grammatical error.
p30. Read my p20 comment.
p34. Fixed.

DISCLAIMER: I only point out grammatical errors and I don't give out solutions (sometimes).

Base +6, BaperNu -9

p11.
Satified <- Typo.
"Some time THIS WEEK." <- Not an uncommon way to express impatience.
"Why don't you take off your clothes?" <- A perfectly fine sentence, but in context:
"Why don't you take them off?" <- is better.
What. -> What? | Sure, that'd be better.

Can't take this very seriously since the artist either made a mannequin blackmail and fuck a girl, or forgot to give one of the 2 main characters a face.

Base +11

@AtotehZ
Repeating the phrase "your clothes" in the next sentence makes it too wordy when you can just use a pronoun.

Also, p11.
"Think you'll be satified sometime this week"
Why is this an uncommon way to express impatience in page 11's context?
"Man I can't wait to pull for Cyno next week." (Context: I'm talking about pulling for Cyno) <- Correct use of the preposition.
"Hey. Think you'll be satisfied next week?" (Girl's PoV Context: asking if MC is satisfied with just groping) <-WRONG use of the preposition.
Again, why is she talking about something next week in this context? God...

Base +6

Just no... actually read what I wrote.

Base +11